But if it were not for the china,
I would crash into you
Grateful.
The ashes in your curtains
And their suicide notes in their mouths
I would splinter in your palms
Were it not for morning
Cold, and sweet.
Let me.
May 8, 2015
May 8, 2015 at 1:38 AM UTC
Missing you hit me suddenly
Suddenly six months too late
And it tasted like lemon bars
And prom night
And coffee mixed with sweet tea
Missing you, it felt like holding a ticket
Between the pads of my teenage thumbs
With your last name instead of mine.
Missing you feels like dying
Slowly because there’s something I’m missing
Some way to slip away
Slowly backwards
Back to the sign I must have missed
But I can’t.
All I can do is miss you.
Missing you feels like everything
Because everything feels like you
The warmth of pavement on my back
The singe of a burnt tongue from hot tea
Everything feels like punishment
Everything feels like empty hope
Hope that one day everything will feel like you again
That one day, you won’t be missing.
Mar 25, 2015
Mar 25, 2015 at 1:07 AM UTC
Not poetry.
But please read? It's important. I promise.
http://32ozofgoodness.blogspot.com/2015/02/i-had-no-idea-taking-my-life-back-from.html
Feb 26, 2015
Feb 26, 2015 at 11:48 PM UTC
I took a needle
Bright and clean
And threaded it through my ventricles
Tied a knot tight
Atop my atria
And hung my heart from my wrist
It felt warm in my palm
And slippery,
Afraid of being held too long
It swung from my wrist
Like a shackle
Like an invitation
Until I hid it in my sleeves in winter time
I hung my heart at my side;
I’d never lose it
And lose it I never did
But in the wind
And when I tossed at night
Slowly it rusted. And cracked
I turned my wrist over once
Just to show you
You pulled my heart from my wrist
And in your hands
It shattered
And the line drew taught
And there I hung.
From the strands of my heart
That you held in your hands
I dangled, still in your grasp
And I hung at your side
Like a prison ball
Like a prize
Lose me,
You never will
Feb 16, 2015
Feb 16, 2015 at 9:38 PM UTC
It’s dark in central Georgia
And city lights kiss me like you do
Sad and solemnly buzzing
Nothing else will break me like you will
With the hands you stretched out towards me
You’re the dusk I’m dreaming of
Treading gently until we reach the world’s end
Everything will be dark
Jan 27, 2015
Jan 27, 2015 at 10:16 PM UTC
I'm stuck inside this love affair
This bed from which people come and go
Writhing, caressing, kissing the cheeks
Of boys who warm my sheets and my heart
Until I let them go
This bed which I have made
And laid in
For longer than I can remember
With the lingering smell of adolescence
And the static cling of selves I sacrificed
I stay here as I pass them along
Over my body and onto the world outside
Infidelity to the person I should have been
Who I have trapped inside my death bed
Adorned with the flowers of lovers
And l have let her slowly die
Dec 20, 2014
Dec 20, 2014 at 3:58 PM UTC
I fall in love in the summer
When sheets are thin
And breezes are warm
When our curtains are sheer
And the sun sets over thunderclouds
And our feet caress each other at the end of a trodden dock
I fall in love when nights are short
And time moves sweetly thick, and slow
And our breath tastes hard like liquor
I fall in love off of hot asphalt
And exposed souls
Getting high on parking structures
And men’s fingers in my hair
And
I fall apart in the winter
When we’re sheltered
And evenings come too early
When it’s cold outside
So I burry too deep into myself
And lose lovers like keys
To what,
I’m still not sure
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 10:51 PM UTC
I’m lying on the ground where you first kissed me
With my back against the cracks in the concrete
Back when I had summer breath
And you had child’s eyes
It was always sunny where we went
Hearts and hands intertwined
A heatwave of young love, and iced teas
And the way your tongue felt cool on my neck
And today it’s cold and the ground is damp with snow
But it’s as warm here as it’s ever been.
I’m looking at my reflection in the window of a coffee shop
That will always belong to us
And the love story that only a place like this could ever hold
Where the warmth of you drives away clouds.
It’s finally winter in Ann Arbor
So I guess it makes sense that you’re not here anymore
Because a thousand miles and winters couldn’t untangle
My love from you from here
“I miss summer, and long hair, and lab, and espresso, and the library, and everything about this place. But mostly I just miss him.”
(March 2013)
Nov 8, 2014
Nov 8, 2014 at 2:33 PM UTC
The sun is bleeding across the clouds
Throwing streaks of red across my fingertips
I'm a thousand miles above you
Coasting on the tails of winds that I only hope
Will return me safely to you
It's the sort of plastic cups and cocktail peanuts evening
That I wish we could share up here
Because my heart's beating to this sunset I'm finally on top of
While somewhere you're thinking of someone
I hope she's me.
Legs crossed and expectations shuffled
In seat 14A of the first flight I've ever taken by myself
Without taking alone
I know she's me.
Because I still feel you clutching me
Even with my nose pressed to the glass
While I wonder what would happen if I jumped
And if when I fell through this ceiling of clouds
It could feel as good as when I fall for you
I fell for you this morning
Not for the first time and never for the last time
When your voice was dry and your mouth was warm
And I'm up here painting the image of what you've done to my heart
Across the cloud in neon reds
There's a horizon to my left
And a sad story writing its conclusion across the sky behind me
Fading into the glow of embers bleeding out of me
Up here
Staining the sky
Nov 8, 2014
Nov 8, 2014 at 2:31 PM UTC
There’s tonic water at our bedside
And crumbs in our sheets
And that word still feels sticky in my mouth
“ours”
Like candy coating
Cherry red and saccharine
Like happiness my body hasn’t matured into
I’m a river’s mouth
Spitting out melancholy
Dripping from my lips
There’s music in the foreground
And your breaths are muted under the sheets
While I stamp this sadness out of me
With the press of your warm mouth
Wet against mine
Letting this inkiness run out of me
Staining the places hidden
Under your skin
I’m writing out nineteen years of
Cigarette smoke
That I didn’t have to inhale
To get trapped in my heart
Across your shoulders at night
Hoping one day
Your hands will wring this out of me
It’s early in the morning
And you’re up spinning ambitions
Into something I hope I witness
The cobwebs of
And I’m naked
On your side of the bed
Watching your shoulders rise and fall
Under the humming
Of our overworked heater
Falling asleep to the promise of
The way you look at me
Let me be yours
For at least one more turn of hours
Nov 4, 2014
Nov 4, 2014 at 12:43 AM UTC