and I know you
won't be there to catch me
this time
because it was
YOU
who pushed me
Mar 23
Mar 23, 2026 at 3:04 PM UTC
This is my depression
wake up and try to fall asleep again
see how long I can make it before I get out of bed
This is my depression
skip all meals
then snack a bit
try to appease the rumbling of my
stomach
and back to sleep
This is never ending
have a million thoughts come all at once
keep myself indoors trying to feel the beating of my heart
There is no depression
go about my day as if
I'm fine
mask away the sadness let
nobody know it's all a lie
Jan 3, 2023
Jan 3, 2023 at 1:49 PM UTC
I'm not even *****
I just wanna feel something
I'm alone in my room and everything just seems boring
And the thoughts inside my mind
are definitely still revolving
'round the same insecurities
I've had since I was younger
What doesn't **** you makes you stronger
but I can't see the benefit
in still surviving what feels like a ******
Everyday everything's out of order
I just take the blows I'm dealt without the chance to recover
and I wonder
Will I ever escape this?
I've given it so many name
I no longer know what IT is
Yearning for that sensation of perpetual bliss
I grow scared of the idea of not enjoying what life gives
Guess it is what it is
I've been trying to change things
but every attempt is a miss
Maybe I should just give in
Maybe this time I could finally get the win
Day after day
Night after night
Everything is the same
I can't believe I'm nearly 30
and I'm still playing this same old game
trying to figure out who the **** I should blame
Is it me? Is it you?
Was it us? Was it them?
When I was born they cut me out
like I was this perfect gem
and like a diamond I was built under the pressure of a thousand stares
Only to be dropped down the stairs
chipping off pieces of me
as I bounced off of every step
I'd say I have no regrets
but that's the kind of lie you tell to scare off people with fake interests
Choices I've made have hardly ever been the best
and the rest just haven't taken me to where the goal was set
Yet I still struggle every minute
every hour
I was told that the world was for me to devour
But I just lost my appetite
I'm going to bed without dinner
Sweet dreams and good night
Dec 6, 2022
Dec 6, 2022 at 8:58 PM UTC
She could find the beauty in me
before even I could
But she left so suddenly she took the secret with her
Apr 27, 2022
Apr 27, 2022 at 11:15 AM UTC
All the pain I've dealt
Is coming back to haunt me
and, man, I'm a ****
Apr 24, 2022
Apr 24, 2022 at 11:42 AM UTC
If it wasn't meant to be something,
why does it hurt like this?
Apr 24, 2022
Apr 24, 2022 at 10:12 AM UTC
It's how I keep expecting
the fantasies in my mind
to be true
which makes the
much-too-real pain
sting for so much longer
Apr 23, 2022
Apr 23, 2022 at 6:20 PM UTC
I was half happy as the day began
By now, guess which half took over the other
Apr 23, 2022
Apr 23, 2022 at 6:00 PM UTC
It's the things I can't remember
It's the wicked of the night
It's the underlying nature of
the things I try to fight
It's the secrets of my conscience
not the things I can deny
It's the sunlight in the morning
that I try so hard to hide
It's the words I do not scribble
It's the ones I cannot write
All these things that made a home of
the dark locker in my mind
Mar 22, 2022
Mar 22, 2022 at 11:12 AM UTC