Why wait in darkness and stillness I thought
When my mind is a garden waiting to see the thoughts that complot
As I stare into the void of colorless nothing
My mind is filled with gore vigor and cunning
Such purity flushed so swiftly into this abyss
Known not what horrible plots are amiss
I know that my thoughts can ****
So I tame my demons, hold my breath and sit still
My head is broken down; thoughts like a disease
Know not if I will survive to tell you this with ease
My mentality is everything but complete
The demons the haunt my mind are truly elite
My time is short and so ends my wait
This clock is dead and now approaches my fate
Shall I meet another come time to traverse
The answer lies within the poetic deadly verse
Now I know my purpose, my role
I must find within me the life that I stole
My demons rage on in this boxed crate
For I am the one who is stuck in the wait.
Apr 20, 2017
Apr 20, 2017 at 12:42 PM UTC
**** me softly stab me in the eye
whisper in my ear with a lie that I will not die
We had our differences and I will not lie
but when you left my life all I could do is cry
**** me softly stab me in the wrist
when we fought it was never with our fist
I know when I write poetry it is you I missed
but I realize that as a friend I am no longer on that list
**** me softly stab me in the heart
when we parted ways it thrashed me; tore me apart
you are a muse, a frail flower a true work of art
when I see you, a fight is the last thing that I want
**** me softly stab me in the head
you see my feelings poured out on the page as I bled
all I want is a new start, some traction with this tread
but if I were to go to war would you still cry if I were dead?
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 8:42 PM UTC
Help me be the soldier they need me to be
Help me be the soldier they expect me to be
Need not speak the words of the creed
But rather live under them subconsciously
Knowledge is power but not in greed
Let me see the light in thee
How can my mind be so clear yet so twisted
Mildew with the battle cries of the missed enlisted.
**** the enemy but don't ask why
Know your values and watch the bullets fly
This is my Soldier side
And in my life I carry this burden till I die.
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 8:35 PM UTC
I wish that I
was filled with stars
intricate, intimate arrays
to guide me to the edge
of myself and beyond
my soul
the brightest
in a unique constellation
of my naming
my love
many-hued nebula
expanding
to fill the void
my losses
supernovas
both beautiful
and tragic
But I am not
celestial
earth-bound
I must navigate
by stroke of skin
whiff of memory
trace of sadness
night vision
rudimentary compasses
in a sea of misunderstanding.
Mar 24, 2016
Mar 24, 2016 at 1:41 PM UTC
My words are ignorant and invalid
Such as my life I flee from my self
I weep and cry but I know that I
Can never forgive my self
For that pain I have brought
Like snow fall cold and plentyful.
Dec 22, 2015
Dec 22, 2015 at 5:10 AM UTC
I feel the Emptyness surround me
Gripping me in inevitable beauty;
Sinking it's claws into me
And I ask why as I cry in symphony
I cry for now I see the light
I pry to free from the painful clutch
See the ink flow from your spite
Know that this happens to all you touch
Be free and fly like the wounded bird
You will struggle but you shall fly
This is not the first but the third
And fail me is all you do when you try
A puddle of time left in place;
Time left for you... and I
And we shall explore this new space
For all I do is try
Dec 22, 2015
Dec 22, 2015 at 3:38 AM UTC
Sent to a friend who had complained that I was glad enough to see
him when he came, but didn't seem to miss him if he stayed away.
And cannot pleasures, while they last,
Be actual unless, when past,
They leave us shuddering and aghast,
With anguish smarting?
And cannot friends be firm and fast,
And yet bear parting?
And must I then, at Friendship's call,
Calmly resign the little all
(Trifling, I grant, it is and small)
I have of gladness,
And lend my being to the thrall
Of gloom and sadness?
And think you that I should be dumb,
And full DOLORUM OMNIUM,
Excepting when YOU choose to come
And share my dinner?
At other times be sour and glum
And daily thinner?
Must he then only live to weep,
Who'd prove his friendship true and deep
By day a lonely shadow creep,
At night-time languish,
Oft raising in his broken sleep
The moan of anguish?
The lover, if for certain days
His fair one be denied his gaze,
Sinks not in grief and wild amaze,
But, wiser wooer,
He spends the time in writing lays,
And posts them to her.
And if the verse flow free and fast,
Till even the poet is aghast,
A touching Valentine at last
The post shall carry,
When thirteen days are gone and past
Of February.
Farewell, dear friend, and when we meet,
In desert waste or crowded street,
Perhaps before this week shall fleet,
Perhaps to-morrow.
I trust to find YOUR heart the seat
Of wasting sorrow.
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 3:33 PM UTC
At morn—at noon—at twilight dim—
Maria! thou hast heard my hymn!
In joy and wo—in good and ill—
Mother of God, be with me still!
When the Hours flew brightly by,
And not a cloud obscured the sky,
My soul, lest it should truant be,
Thy grace did guide to thine and thee
Now, when storms of Fate o’ercast
Darkly my Present and my Past,
Let my future radiant shine
With sweet hopes of thee and thine!
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 3:31 PM UTC