They say
Nothing tastes as good
As skinny feels
And when I look in the mirror
All I feel is anger
He tells me I'm beautiful
He tells me that he loves my body
But I feel like I'm being told a liars tale
Like his liking of my appearance is nothing more than an Aesop's Fabel
With the lesson to never accept flattery
And I will always be the frog
My insecurities the stones they pelt me with
And if they can't hemp themselves
Than here I am splayed out like the frog I am on a dissection table
Waiting for your scalpels
And other picking tools
Rip me apart
And tell me my flaws
So I may love myself
Much like you do your own self
Through mirrors
And cameras
Because no amount of corsets or face masks
Will make me love myself
No ammount of comments from boys just passing by
Will make me feel better
Because there will always be that person telling me that I will die alone
That I'm not pretty enough
And that I don't look like her
And if there are 100 people telling me not to listen to them
And if they are so wrong
Than why do their opinions echo so loud?
May 11, 2017
May 11, 2017 at 6:40 PM UTC
A picture paints a thousand words
But a single word holds a million meanings
Than one day a God made of love decided to create us
Spoke a single word
And there we were
And if He is love
Than every uttered syllable
And deepening breath would hold a form of love
From a hug of a brother
To a kiss from a lover
And if we were breathed love
Doesn't that make us programmed of it
Something so familiar yet unknown
Amazing and dangerous
The joy of some
And the death of most
A poisonous sting like a bite from a snake
Awaiting its victim
In the shadows coming from nowhere
Love is like that beautiful girl at a mascaraed party
Alluring but hidden
With a playful smile
And teasing fingers
A charade of the heart
and a game never won
A vial trickery
Aimed at the soul
Striking excitement and fear
A keep quiet display
Often causing pain
Dodging lies
And forced feelings
It happens in the blink of an eye
Or like a soft slow hymn
Lulling you to sleep for the last time
Arms wrapped around the idea of forever
while the morn holds your soon to be cries
And if all love is
Is broken pieces of a tale told once to many times over
Why do we still choose to feel it?
Why do we still linger in the smell of a lovers grasp
Full knowing it may tear us down
We are fools
Lost in the idea that love alone can heal us
And maybe it can
But is it worth the risk to find out?
Jul 26, 2016
Jul 26, 2016 at 6:22 PM UTC
What is love
Such a small yet complex word
Holding so much or lil emotion
The kind of love
So what is Love in dollar signs
Patch it up with a price tag
Than what's the cost of a broken heart
Shattered pieces for a penny's price
Not quite a dollar will do
Pay a high sum and play doctor
Fare for a new heart
Stick it in and sew it up
A mentality of
"High levy paid will make it all better"
When are we ever going to learn
Money does not fix brokeness
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 8:13 PM UTC
I want to be inspiring,
I want to love and let go of the past,
But I can never do that if I keep a grudge the size of a mountain burried deep in my chest,
Waiting to come out,
I act like it doesn't bother me now,
But in reality,
The sad truth about myself is that,
I want them to feel what its like,
To wanna rip their own hearts out,
Like they do to me,
And I am ashamed of myself for that reason,
I tell myself I'll never be like them,
But sometimes I think I'm worse,
It's that grudge that I hold in my heart,
Waiting to envelope me in pain and bitterness,
Like shivering in fear of the dark as a child,
Laying in bed waiting for that monster to eat you alive the moment you fall asleep,
And sometimes I think I want them to feel that,
But,
I can’t be that cruel,
I can’t put anyone through,
What I’ve gone through,
'Cause,
I know how it wears on a person,
I know the fake smile,
Over gritted teeth,
I know the demon screaming behind their eyes,
Because I’ve felt that,
I’ve walked that walk,
It’s a hole,
You crawl your way out,
Than they push you back in,
Every time you take a step up the hole just get bigger,
And they continue to throw more dirt over you,
And bury you deeper,
And deeper,
A battle of oppression and lonliness,
Keeping quiet,
But wanting to scream,
Wanting to release the way you feel without the risk of standing out,
So you find ways to get that release,
Singing,
Drawing,
Running,
Me?
I write,
I write to hold back that real release,
To hurt them,
Like they hurt me,
So I sit back,
And in detail,
Write it out,
Grammatical sentences,
Spilled out onto blue lines,
Letting out,
Pent in Anger,
Regret,
Sorrow,
Whatever it may be,
But it keeps me sane,
If I even have that,
Sanity,
My conscious is wearing thin,
I'm getting to where,
I don’t care anymore,
So if I let out a last breath,
Staring at the moon,
Would it matter to anyone?
Will it make an impact?
Or will my last words be a forgotten melody with time,
Crashing into crescendos,
Lost in the moment we realize,
Is any of this worth the risk?
I don’t know the answer,
And that's why I still try,
I wanna meet a boy,
And change his life,
I wanna meet a girl,
And help her see another day,
And if that’s what keeps me from letting go,
Then God help me hold onto it,
With my tightest grip,
I refuse to go,
As another helpless person,
Staring into the sky,
I wanna go as someone who,
Gave their all,
But just fell a lil short
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 5:44 PM UTC