Everything is about new beginnings
Today is a new beginning
So is tomorrow
Weights are lifted
Memories are softened
Fear no longer consumes me
Goodbye is not etched into my
bones
Only “Hello’s” and soft smiles
I’ll watch my life begin just
as fast as I’d thought it had ended
Life is no longer about waiting
Waiting for him to come back
Waiting for him to apologize
I am no longer waiting
He is not who I am
I am the breeze on a hot
summer day
I am the rain in the night that
lures one to sleep
I am not the negative things
people think about me
I am worth more
I am not damaged goods
Pain will vanish
Time will heal
The tire marks he left in my yard
will disappear
I will forget the color of his eyes
and the way his hands felt in mine
But, there are better things to hold onto
than the thought of a man that isn’t coming back.
Jul 1, 2016
Jul 1, 2016 at 9:55 PM UTC
How sad it is to know that “Goodbye”
slips from my lips easier than any other
word in the dictionary.
How terrible it is to know that
a seven letter word,
etched with pain,
can slip so effortlessly through
raspberry colored lips.
They’ll ask me how I’m doing.
I’ll say “I’m surviving”.
But, they won’t understand that
“Goodbye” is carved into my
bones like the initials of lovers
on tree barks.
They will not understand
that the reason “Goodbye”
slips so easily from my lips
is because of a tainted childhood
that I’ve tried so hard to forget.
Maybe, just maybe, if I say it enough
it will lose all of its meaning.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
No.
Every goodbye pulls air out of my lungs
and forces a fist into my stomach.
Fire ignites in my chest and the bags
under my eyes darken.
It takes the color out of my face as if it was
never there.
While he sleeps perfectly still across town,
I will toss and turn.
Nightmares for every dream, darker bags
for every night I lay awake thinking
about the last “goodbye” to escape my
cracked lips.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
He is gone.
Jun 27, 2016
Jun 27, 2016 at 5:41 PM UTC