Five years have passed so unbearably slow
I thought by now that I could finally let go
I walked down an endless series of halls
Looking for something that wasn't at all
I ran till my lungs burned, but couldn't escape
Ran all the way to the other side of the state
There is no escape from that fateful day
When I leaned in, when she walked away
So I have accepted my heart, I've come to grips
With the warmth in her smile, the curse in my lips
I've died once, but the burial shroud unfurled
And I rise, the poet who stopped the world.
Mar 21, 2016
Mar 21, 2016 at 8:46 PM UTC
The speedometer read zero for the longest time
All things stood still in your eyes and in mine
Our hearts stitched together, just beating
Our chests pressed tight together, both of us just breathing
This love seemed timeless, until you unlocked
I heard the dreaded "tik tok, tik tok"
And you began to drift
While I remained, devastated by the rift
One mile per hour, two, ten
The world creaks and groans as it starts up again
I stand floating in a timeless void
Split in half and utterly destroyed
I cry and I kick, the tantrum of a child
Slowly become an animal, feral and wild
There is no more dancing, there is no more twirl
Just the death of the poet who stopped the world
Without the muse, there is no more starlight
Another wall to break me down, knock me out of the fight
I lay on the floor, rooted like a tree
As the world moves again without me.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 8:31 PM UTC
As my heart's hope ebbs and the pain within flows
I wonder how many stitches are required to sew
The invisible wound on the inside
How am I still alive?
With this paralyzed heart?
You've left your venom, I'm blinded and bound
Your abandonment resounds
My soul is sickened by your falseness,
But my heart only seems to receive life from your smile
Even the quality of my poetry declines
I used to be an artist
Now it takes all my strength just to stay within the lines
Writing no longer medicates, so I turn to the drink
Then, in my wretchedness, I cry out to God.
Is this my penance for the ones I have wronged?
I could write for days on what first captivated
Me about you and your life giving warmth
But now your betrayal has darkened the best of me
To be just like the worst
The worst part is, I'm not angry, just broken
Vulnerable and dying inside. Will even God save me?
I know he is able, I have witnessed his power
both in life and in fable
Will the sting ever ebb? Will hope ever flow?
I'll leave you with that question
I have to go.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 8:27 PM UTC
Consumed by misanthropy
A cardio catastrophe
Watching hope evaporate
In the pit this excavates
Paralyzed by the victory
Of the incubus caressing you
You lean in to kiss a dark mystery
This is my final cue
My cue to give up and forget destiny
Sit in a corner and be less than me
I just can't do it, so I'm stuck in this hole
Waiting and wondering, losing my soul
Clinging to a threadbare hope
That will be my hanging rope
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 8:22 PM UTC
You make your way across the tightrope of life
But you always seem to end up freefalling
I want to be the harness to keep you in safety
Want to be the blanket that keeps you warm and secure
I want to be the laughter that bubbles inside
To be the poker stoking the flames of your lust
To be the angel that teaches you to fly
And the anchor that keeps you standing steady
I want to be the whiskey that gets you drunk on love
I want to be the jeans clinging to your body
I want to be the song singing sweet nothings in your ear
Just give me the opportunity
I want to be your life blood running in your veins
I want to be your water, refreshing your energy
I want to be the best friend the brings you joy
The lover that brings you completion.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 8:20 PM UTC
After the flames consume your soul
Will you finally take a drink?
Will you quench the thirst that takes its toll?
After the embers finally fall
Will you decide to take the risk
Answer my heart's siren call?
Or will the fire caress you? Hide the pain it gives.
I guess I have no chance to help you to live.
(I have decided not to finish this after 3 years)
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 8:17 PM UTC
You cry out from the cracks in the earth
Where you're trapped in your personal hell
I may not be enough, but for what it's worth
I'll try to unlock this inferno cell
I'm so frustrated my screams could shatter
Everything I thought I knew
Why the **** is it that my dreams must scatter
Like the shards of what was once true
You're in the prison as I unlock the door
To see your skin licked by flame
I offer water, but to my horror
You seem to be enjoying the pain
You're being burned alive in here
I cry and scream and try so hard
But you just smile as you slowly incinerate
And leave me alone in the dark
You see through the eyes of the truly determined
I don't have a choice but to step aside
Though I can't bear living without you, I've learned
That I'm just along for this horrible ride.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 8:15 PM UTC
You're the welspring where I draw my inspiration and strength
You help me spin poems and prose at length
But there's so much more within this spring
Beauty, innocence, passion, wild things
You're in my air, water, blood
I could never stop this flood
I'll fill this book with ink and lead
Until I wind up dead
Don't even try to get me to quit
You're ingrained in the words I emit
You're in my lungs, heart, veins
I feel your joy, sorrow and pain
You're part of me now, that I'll never forget
You're all of me now, my muse, my spirit
I can't let go, we can't be torn or separated
Don't even try, for it would be as impossible
as stabbing the sky
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 8:11 PM UTC
I came upon you as a broken bird
Shivering under a blanket of darkness
I crawled inside and felt the hurt
Saw a world of starkness
Grabbed your hand, refused to break hold
You said "let me drown," I screamed "Try to swim!"
I decided to stay, though the air grew cold
Fought against the devil's whim
You lie there with a vacant expression
Mumbling your pained confession
I grab you in a fireman's carry
No time to delay, I cannot tarry
Lay you down on the glistening grass
Down into purifying starlight
Where the dark blanket covering is torn away
And you can see who you really are.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 8:07 PM UTC
My heart hangs suspended, its chambers emptied, dead
Its airways strangled, and its stomach starved and shrunken
Trapped in time, just this lost little boy among men
And orphan among beloved children, frozen in stasis
Please thaw me somehow, let time begin again
What's a clock without the batteries?
A heart in suspended strangulation
(Written 2011, age 18)
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 8:04 PM UTC