Your touch feels like the Grimm Reaper,
grabbing hold of a soul.
Like a wave shoving its watery hand
down someone's throat.
Like scraping an arm on a rusty swing set,
a thousand roaches scuttling in between toes,
ripping off a band-aid,
pricking a thumb, piercing an ear.
Your words are like a crocodile smiling.
Like a Gucci bag in Chinatown.
Like the nose of a plastic surgeon's daughter,
a plant made of foam,
a boy crying wolf,
a Siren's song, an acrylic eyelash.
Your presence is like a curdled carton of milk.
Like an opera singer with a nasty cold.
Like dirt that just won't leave your eye,
a root canal on Christmas Day,
hair being pulled, stubbing a toe,
like the stench that I smell when you enter the room.
Jan 26, 2020
Jan 26, 2020 at 1:42 PM UTC
It takes my life
its trials
lessons
triumphs
And reduces them
As if they didn’t make me
As if they didn’t matter
Jan 22, 2020
Jan 22, 2020 at 3:07 PM UTC
It was something about the way you held me
Like I was yours
Jan 20, 2020
Jan 20, 2020 at 11:49 PM UTC
What happens when you give your heart away?
Do you lose you?
Give everything?
One large piece of self -
and they consume it,
and it’s gone?
Do you multiply?
Give away a version?
Leave behind a copy -
a dupe,
with no ability to update?
Or do you form into another?
Giving only a piece?
Rename the file -
myself_v2,
missing only the data you gave?
What happens?
The people from before,
who gave their hearts,
their time and passion -
they aren't me
But what happened?
Jan 15, 2020
Jan 15, 2020 at 6:12 PM UTC
I remember when I decided I'd write
I sat
and I wrote
and I felt so proud
So proud
that I shared with her
I wanted her to be proud too
She laughed in my face
She ******* laughed
Jan 15, 2020
Jan 15, 2020 at 1:34 PM UTC
Off to wonderland it seems
Far away from us
and me
Kept closed in tiny hands
held warm
But not mine
Trifling over where I disappeared
Maybe I’m the one in wonderland
Feeling the same ache
Every morning I wake up without you
Dec 12, 2019
Dec 12, 2019 at 3:51 PM UTC
I remember feeling warmth
in almost overwhelming amounts
Writing love notes
to roll up in a bottle
Saving pebbles
to wear around my neck
Now I feel disconnected
Like watching a movie
and seeing myself stumble through the plot
Where has my heart gone?
And why didn’t I notice when they took it?
Dec 11, 2019
Dec 11, 2019 at 4:33 PM UTC
I miss you
and I’m afraid
Of the days
We never left bed
Head safe on your chest
Fingers through hair
Eyes closed
Soft and strong
My teddy bear
Afraid of the days
Spent drifting
Through used books
Into the gallery
The stupid ceramic hippo
Of “my angel”
Of “baby” and “I love you”
I miss you
And I’m so afraid
To remember
Dec 8, 2019
Dec 8, 2019 at 11:37 AM UTC
Ever wish you could interact with you?
Be another person
And experience being them
And experience meeting you
Is that self involved?
Or anxiety induced?
Both?
I spend so much time
~ worrying ~
About how others feel
About me
I’d love to experience it
And maybe believe
Meeting me
Isn’t as horrible as I think
Dec 8, 2019
Dec 8, 2019 at 11:12 AM UTC
I don’t think about it all the time
But some of the time
it comes to mind
and I can’t get it out
That time I tried
to jump out of a window
Ive considered the ways
to make it prettier
more poetic
But like,
it wasn’t
I tried to jump out of a window
and I did it in front of my mom
I’ve read a few times
that travel would make me better
If you’re depressed
You should get off the couch
You should see the world
You won’t feel so bad if you leave the house
Well I was still depressed in Florence
I did it in front of my mom
while we were on vacation in Italy
She took my passport away
and locked it in the safe
I don’t know how to make that poetic
She told me I was a witch
a ****
I don’t know how to make that pretty
I couldn’t leave
We were on vacation in Italy
and I couldn’t leave
and she wouldn’t stop
So I tried to jump
The only pretty part
was sitting on the windowsill
Her voice was blocked
and I felt the breeze on my toes
as I dangled
and looked down
on the soft pink building below
I love pink
I was free
But that beauty ended
Brought back into the world
her voice begging me to stay
and promising to stop
She pulled me back in
and told me I did it for attention
Nov 21, 2019
Nov 21, 2019 at 11:34 AM UTC