THE DAWNS EARLY BREATH FEELS OF SLEEP AND DESIRE
AND TO ME THEY CRIED BACK
GOOD-BYE!
May 28, 2022
May 28, 2022 at 6:00 PM UTC
I am not gifted
I am a gift
to you
I am your child
And I always knew it was your job
To keep me healthy
Maybe that's why
I cried so much
and cry so much
to this day
I did not ask to be born
I did not ask to be perfect
But you asked that of me
How the **** can a Mother
Joke of locking their child in a closet
To starve them for their weight
Gifted child
Gifted child
I wish you saw me as a gift
Instead of gifted
Instead of expecting the most
While creating the least
Out of me
I thought my first heartbreak
Would be from a friend
Perhaps a partner
But I soon realized
It was a process
That had already started
There was no specific day I realized
That I couldn't feel your love
And only now
At 21 do I realize
How badly I wanted to my whole life
You gave birth to someone with many weaknesses
Similar to the ones within yourself
But you can't stand seeing them
In anyone
I don't know if I've forgiven you
But I don't think I hate you
I just wish that the seed we planted
Grew
I was young, incapable
I didn't know how to take care of it
But neither did you
And by the time we found out
The seed was rotten.
Dec 4, 2021
Dec 4, 2021 at 5:59 PM UTC
i want to go to my home
not quite where i belong
because what i deserve is better
but even a housecat knows none of us will get what we deserve
not in these fleeting lives
of insignificance
i once thought there was nothing after death
and I'm sure that later on I might just wish so
but for now I'm waiting
to go home
while humanity tears itself apart
the same way it always has
Oct 27, 2020
Oct 27, 2020 at 10:17 PM UTC
I see with my mind
Looking through different filter lenses
Changing for better
and for worse
It hurts to realize
I may never know true vision
And I'm not even sure
If I really know reality
I live life through mental images,
these horrid scenes that play out in my head
My antipsychotics are failing me
And the catch is that they probably always will
But I love you, at least that's real
Apr 7, 2020
Apr 7, 2020 at 10:15 PM UTC
We’ve finally run away
Told no one about it
It’s better that way
There is no priest
No one to make this holy
Because darling I’m hellbent
On it just being us
I am a sick bride
And you are my pill
To fight with
You are a tired groom
And I am your pillow
To rest on
Once this is over
We’ll go back to those
That really do love us
Sep 22, 2019
Sep 22, 2019 at 10:20 PM UTC
Crystal vines creep
Along our bodies
These vines seem to know
Everything about you
And I must say I dream
Of knowing the same
If we end up pulling apart
I know their shards
Will pierce our minds
In unison
Uncertainty fills your mind
Mine too
But we both planted these seeds
Let's become new
Sep 22, 2019
Sep 22, 2019 at 10:05 PM UTC
You're hard candy and
I've no clue what you have within
Is it a viscous, sweet-tasting fluid
That will seep, spilling all that you hide
Or will you break me before I ever
Reach your center
Are you hard to the core?
Feb 10, 2019
Feb 10, 2019 at 2:25 PM UTC
I hope he loves me
Even at 2 am
Losing my mind
Brains spilling out
Trying to fix the leak
Knowing there's nothing
That I can do
Begging for sleep
Wishing for the end
Not knowing if
It'll finally be the knife
That does it for me
I hope he loves me
Nov 20, 2018
Nov 20, 2018 at 11:20 AM UTC
The light puts slits in your eyes
Horizontal rather than vertical
Another excuse not to look into them
But besides that, you're kind of pretty today
I sincerely wish this was our first meeting
Or that it wouldn't be our last
I really, truly wish I knew you
Girl within the mirror
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 6, 2018 at 12:32 PM UTC
I wish I could see you when you’re scared
I know you are but I want to see it
I want to know not that the anxiety is real
But that you’re real
Oct 20, 2018
Oct 20, 2018 at 7:25 PM UTC