(turning anger into art; a rant)
you forgot what it meant to be a friend
I tried to make it work
but I forgot that friendships are
In fact,
a two way street
Silly, silly me.
I can't put broken pieces of a mirror back together
without look at myself through these shards
my hands bleeding
wondering what I did wrong
wondering why you didn't help fix this mess
wondering why it broke in the first place
I can't be angry anymore
I can't mourn the beautiful friendship we never had
sometimes I want to text you and apologize
maybe it's my fault for not speaking first
my fault for not coming to you and asking, "why?"
my fault for letting you in
expecting too much
I think about calling you
and when I do
you apologize,
pull the knife from my back
and let me bleed
Jul 21, 2015
Jul 21, 2015 at 7:57 PM UTC
I'm a terrible person
Sometimes I see people struggling just to survive
They've got words on a cardboard sign
and sometimes
I don't help them out
I'm a terrible person
I've got two hands
a heart
a mind
a little cash in my pocket
and yet I still don't choose to use them wisely
but most of all
I'm terrible because
of all the people I could have chosen
I chose you
I chose you and I let myself keep choosing you
I let myself cry and ache
I sacrificed myself to have you and now
I'm broken
I'm terrible because I'm weak
I'm weak and you're gone
This wasn't the ending I planned.
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 12:54 AM UTC
It's 12:34 am and I can't stop thinking
Seconds pass
And as I close my eyes for the tenth time
Your face flashes before my eyelids
I'm lost in the portrait of your eyes
Mesmerized by the curve of your lips
Don't get attached... Don't get attached...
I hear my name on your tongue
The sweetest taste in your mouth you say
Those words will be my undoing
Let me in
I close the door.
Draw a line.
Create a barrier.
Whatever it takes to keep you away
But you speak to me through the walls
You unhinge the latch
Swing open the door
Await in the silhouette
You've broken in.
Jul 15, 2014
Jul 15, 2014 at 3:36 AM UTC
These capsules of marrow and red blood cells
are useless against you
The protectors of my heart have deteriorated
What pathetic ribs I have
They shatter beneath the unsteady beat
When our eyes meet
And my heart plunders into the bowels below my feet
My knee caps collapse
At the sound of your voice
A sad excuse; my patellas
My neurons refuse to function
In your presence
Every nerve ending ceases to exist
My brain doesn't register the actions
or the words
That escape my mouth
Blabbering
Lastly
The ***** that fails me
Overwhelms me
and controls me
Aortas and ventricles seeping crimson emotion
Constantly pumping false happiness
through my capillaries
My veins returning depression
My body makes me sick
Jun 9, 2014
Jun 9, 2014 at 4:18 AM UTC
This former concept
to which I clutch so tightly
Might shatter beneath my hold
This past self that I cling to
Makes my knuckles bleed
But I revel in the pain
Jun 1, 2014
Jun 1, 2014 at 2:49 AM UTC
This game is the equivalent to playing with
fire
Yet I laugh as we fall further into
this incandescent spiral.
Your hands
engulf me in flames
I scream.
Every part of me knows this will burn,
but like an oblivious child,
I still have not learned my lesson.
The embers lick at my skin and
searmyflesh
the sweetest inferno
ignites in my chest.
There's an absence of heat, yet my heart
ceases to stop this blistering pain.
The final sparks give way
and I'm left choking on smoke.
I cough
but my hands are
smeared
with ashes.
Apr 13, 2014
Apr 13, 2014 at 12:45 AM UTC
Love me until I am me again.
Love me until you feel my essence
Seeping through the gaps between your fingers
Until you find watermarks of my actuality
Etched into the ripples of your sheets
Hold me until you plunder the depths of my soul
Until you explore my entire existence
Every inch
Every crevice
And every splinter
Kiss me until your lips find the humanity inside me
And the wickedness withers away in your arms
Love me until I belong to myself
Love me until I am me again.
Apr 6, 2014
Apr 6, 2014 at 1:36 PM UTC
After a year you decided
I was your tattered t-shirt
You threw me out and you left on the curb
I'm cold
I'm cold
In the back of your closet
I'm just a photograph
Polaroid from three years ago
You never looked back
You're moving on
I can't blame you
for chasing your own dream
Maybe we're two differences
with opposite destinies
The land where my fantasies start to
collide with reality
My heart shatters in remains of what
we used to be
It dawns on me the promises we've broken
your lingering scent that
my pillows are cloaked in
I'll pretend that
I'm not hurting
You'll pretend that you
don't notice
I can't blame you for
chasing your own dream
I was just a star in your
infinite galaxy
We're crashing and tumbling
on the shores of the same beach
When you find where you belong in this world
Please remember me.
Feb 10, 2014
Feb 10, 2014 at 1:42 AM UTC
I look at you and all I see
are the ruins of what was once a
concrete
stable
beautiful
romance.
I look at you looking at her
and all I see
is the way your gaze held mine
truly
and
tenderly
I look at myself through glass
and all I see
is a broken painting.
A piece of art that you started
but didn't bother to finish.
Finish me
Feb 10, 2014
Feb 10, 2014 at 1:25 AM UTC
There was a sudden rush
in the world
Stars blinding his eyes
Within the span of a few seconds
He had given up his life
Trapped in a harsh reality
One he couldn’t escape
The dreams became too real for him
All he could do was
revel in the snowflakes
Shaking, and stuttering deteriorating inside
A moment of weakness
Became a lifetime of lies
Feb 2, 2014
Feb 2, 2014 at 1:09 AM UTC