What I have now, I have in abundance
I have it to give to you...
Untethered to any intention
I have it.
For you.
It is yours.
And know it was what I intended for you all along.
Safety, comfort, stability....even sanity
It is yours.
I hold it up
Open, raw, a gift from God or the Universe, to me ...to you.
Its real, with the depth and weight of its promise.
I'm keeping it here for you,...exposed
Subject to regection from "before"
Its ok, It is mine to freely give to you
If you will have it,
If you will have me.
The acceptance of me "after"
Would be the greatest gift....
But there is the intention...It is there after all.
The basis of my intention, it is simply the need
for forgiveness.
For your love.
And My love to you.
It seems as if the recipient has shifted
From you, to me...
But really, It is interchangeable
"after" is something to be shared.
"After" is the gift....the one that brought your sister.
With "after" there came a knowing....
A knowing that I had been wrong, broken.
Broken like you said you are now.
The gift can fix it...."After" is surely the cure
For all broken things.
I need you to know there was a place that preceeded "before"
It was " the begining" it was you.
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014 at 11:31 PM UTC
today
i let the dawn
arrive
for once
without trepidation
i allow the cool
mercurial rays
to banish all
the woes of night
and fill the sails
of trailing dreams
i have left fluttering
in my wake
in this
new light
i am disquieted
by a morning chill
but resist the comfort
of my own arms
i refuse to confide
in the hunched shoulders
and retracted limbs
of uncountable years
of instinctual defenses
today
i finally see
the beauty
in a rising star
and allow myself
to be seen
by the dawn
Aug 7, 2014
Aug 7, 2014 at 9:23 AM UTC
allow me to apologize
on behalf of the love
i bear for you
the love I’ve left
behind the moon
behind the earth
within a shadow
in an umbra
and hidden from the sun
i want these whispers
to escape
from the person
i have buried
in a folded blanket
in the dust
in a fissure
of a scar
within my heart
i’ve been defeated
by my own fears
and self-resentment festers
in my consequential wounds
a gangrenous pathogen
threatening to mortify
what,
i don’t know
for i’ve kept my eyes closed
and my soul at a distance
but every morning
as i try to go to sleep
in spite of the sun
rising above
i think of me
as if i was not myself
and I think of you
and the things i should’ve done
i think of how
you looked right through
my painted face
and when i met your eyes
how my blind-fold fell away
less than a memory
i think of these moments
and remember
that i once knew the meaning
of peace
Aug 6, 2014
Aug 6, 2014 at 11:00 PM UTC