the day I met you I knew I wouldn’t ever forget you. I knew you were something incredible and I knew I wanted you around for a long time. i knew almost immediately i wanted to be with you. even through our struggles and trials and errors.. something told me to hold on, to keep waiting for you.. to prove my patience and desire for you.. today marks 8 months and 22 days since i last saw you.. and i still hold my breath anytime someone says your name around me. because i can feel the warmth behind my eyes from missing you so much.. i’ve tried to move on, go on a few dates here and there.. it’s not the same. they won’t smile like you do, they won’t laugh like you do, they won’t look at me with those big beautiful green eyes like you do. they aren’t you. they can’t be you. i want you, only you and I want all of you, every little thing that comes with you. I don’t want to let you go and I know we have things to work on but let’s work on them together because I know I love you.. and that we can do this, so let’s not let this beautiful love go to waste. you are my love. you are what i picture when i think about my future. and i can’t give up yet.
Mar 2, 2020
Mar 2, 2020 at 10:13 AM UTC
I was 14 when I was put in prison.
Controlled by a guard that would threaten if I disobeyed to collapse all I knew around me.
To ruin the lives of those I loved but he wouldn’t
I promised my word of silence, tell no soul then no souls would be lost or damaged.
I was their protector.
They’re only hope.
Do as I say he demands.
Wear this!
“No don’t wear that.”
and call me by my name
“Who am I to you?!”
Daddy
That crippling word used for control
Taking away any meaning that word could mean in different context
Crumpled me up by his fist and blew away the dust
I tasted freedom for the first time
19
I sipped on the ability to run, free
Fly
I was able to breathe
Those souls were released
But what do I do with mine?
Fill it with the poison of what I hadn’t experienced before
Drugs
Alcohol
I became the destructor of those souls
Crashing and setting fire to them all
With my hatred for anything tying me down
And throwing those chains back on
Turning my back on those who would’ve searched for the key til the end of time.
I ran
back to prison
My own prison of thoughts and chances I missed
Consumed by the “what if’s”
Losing my mind
Lost
But slowly crawling to a stand
Stand to a walk
Walk to a run
I will fly again
I will fly
The poison ****** from my body.
I am living.
I’m flying
22
Jan 11, 2020
Jan 11, 2020 at 6:03 PM UTC
I don't just mean smoking **** or doing any other drug. I mean, doing
things for yourself and making yourself happy. Allowing yourself to be spontaneous. Go outside and play in the rain, go on drives and play the music loud, and sing the songs even louder. Love with all your heart and don't allow fear to hold you back from the things you want in life. Shut out that voice in the back of your mind that says, “you aren't capable” or “you're not good enough.” Focus on what gets you high. For guys, is it winning the big game? and for girls, is it looking in the mirror and having the confidence to smile without a doubt in mind? My belief or concept begins with the way you look at life. It's built on perspective.
For me, getting high is doing things that I love to do. I get “high” off cosmetology. I get high when I flip the cape off of my client and turn them to face to face with my work, and they smile. I made them feel beautiful, and in-turn made myself feel proud of my work and confident in what I love to do.
For me, I get high off the examples I was provided as a child. Not the examples of what I was supposed to be like, but the ones I wasn't. I have used my birth moms poor life example as my inspiration of what not to be, and have made steps and strides my entire life to be the opposite of what she had shown me was acceptable, because of her I have become who I am today.
Everyone deserves to have those moments of allowiong yourself to be able to stick your hand out the window letting it flow up and down naturaly with the wind, and allowing yourself to forget the pain and disappointment of whatever you are dealing with at the moment in life. Forget what you wanted but couldnt have, and forget that the boy you like has no idea you even exist.
For me, I believe everyone should watch the sunset at least once in their life, and then watch is rise.
Apr 20, 2016
Apr 20, 2016 at 10:50 AM UTC
If she saw the world
through rose colored glasses,
I saw the world as a raindrop
falling from a storm cloud.
Aug 11, 2015
Aug 11, 2015 at 10:21 AM UTC
WHAT IF I TOLD YOU HOW SCARED SHE IS. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU HOW SHE WATCHES THE WAY SHE WALKS, BECAUSE THE LAST TIME SHE FELL IN LOVE, SHE HIT THE GROUND. AND SHE WOULD OFFER HIM HER HEART BUT IT'S BEEN EATEN AT AND STORED IN A DOGGY BAG AROUND A CORNER WITHIN HER CHEST - AND SHE CANNOT HELP BUT ALWAYS FEEL LEFTOVER. WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT SHE'S SCARED OF FEELING.
BECAUSE IT DOESN'T FEEL HER BACK.
Apr 21, 2015
Apr 21, 2015 at 6:20 AM UTC
Abracadabra
Now you see it,
now you don’t
Love
Some say it is magic
and it must be
because it sure did
disappear quickly
Now if only that magic
could mend the heart it broke
when it did
Mar 11, 2015
Mar 11, 2015 at 1:38 PM UTC
He plastered the words across my face
& permanently wrote them in my mind.
I tried to play off like, I don't mind.
Inside, I'm screaming ... But why?
He only wanted my body, and had forgotten about her face.
Her pure beauty, and her grace.
Dec 28, 2014
Dec 28, 2014 at 11:14 PM UTC
Everyday I wake praying it was all a dream.
I open my eyes hoping to find you beside me.
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 18, 2014 at 2:24 PM UTC
I knew you would forget, just as soon as the sun would rise,
But your words, cliché and hollow, came as no surprise.
I asked but one small favor, at both break and close of day,
Just to hear you say hello, but now, hope's bled away.
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 10:37 AM UTC