Positive thinking got you drinking yourself in shrinking it off like it was a bad day, just a bad play, that it'll go away maybe if you pray
Blinking the lies, closing the lids at the rest of your life, just to avoid losing your way, stop you from jumping off the bay, try to find that ray
Meditate, let the light illuminate your mind, realize that it is not your day, your month, your time to be alive, shoulda just dived
Leave behind the weight, everything that's falling off your plate, starve, **** off your *** drive, collide into the divine light
Job, having a boss barking off orders behind the shop, his saliva tasting like cola pop, go back to making corn on the cob
Walk the fury off going to the bus stop, have the boss pass by with the new drive, feeling like your head is in a throb, your whole life is a joke
There you go asserting, to make sure you keep that earning, determined that this what you should be deserving, absorbing it because you got no other yearning
You're overworking, jerking yourself off cause you got everyone overlooking you, shaking you off, like you're nothing, of no concerning
Come back home alone, grab a beer to cheer yourself up, forget that you have no one dear, no peer to be sincere or express your biggest fear
Eat some made up meal, feel like a pioneer putting together some canned tuna with weird aroma, do some tear and stir, end up with an unclear gear
Binge watch some netflix, six episodes in a sitting, call it a quick fix for your emotional mix, wonder if its time to bring the crucifix,
Expel the demons that keep making snips and ticks, writting a bad script for your life, six episodes and six more and another six, wonder if its all just a bad trip
You're a meaningless grain, this pain is in vain, you're not even part of the food chain, abstain from being the main one to entertain
Don't let the grey slob penetrate your right brain, don't complain to the earless strangers about your acid rain, they'll call you insane, show off their gain
You won't find in anyone a golden ray, they'll shower you golden then flush the drain, steal your blood when you cut off your aortic vein,
Rise above before your demise, realize you're the one holding the light, that life is more than smelling like french fries, that if there's no light, you rob a flashlight.
Cries and kicks won't bring the sunrise, sanitize your thoughts, do not penalize your gut, ride the highs before you die, customize your hell ride.
You're on your own, and time is drippin on, you don't get a clone to do a re-do and reach the throne, get off your phone, soon you'll be staring into a light in your tombstone
Grow a backbone, burn down your belief of home, do not pospone your will to live because its out of your comfort zone
Jan 13, 2018
Jan 13, 2018 at 7:11 PM UTC
What the heart wants got me in parts, it haunts me
Tellin me its okay to love but then like no, don’t let it be, flee
Thought it all fit like a glove, but guess it was the wrong hand
Nothing went as the plan, now I’m still in a defensive stand
Ready to fight at any time because theres no more trust
Getting ready to make anyone at all times bite the dust
Don’t trust you nor even my own self because I’ve been too long trapped inside myself
Maybe I should just leave the heart stored in a farway shelf
Cause it seems so easy to love but I never feel like I belong
Wish I was wrong but in the long run I might just resort to the ****
To feel like I’m here and loved because no matter what I feel like I’m void
Emotionless but emotional maybe I just need a date with Freud
Because I’ll love you and then I’ll just want to destroy you
You never hurt me but I’ve hurt myself I planned my own coup
But I dreamed you were holding the knife. There standing in the pool of my blood
And that is enough for me to drag you through the mud
I like that rush, let me rush right into ***
I like this song come on slip on the durex
But then two years from now you’ll talk about kids and marriage
You got no idea what I got in storage cause I’m basically practically made of baggage
A week from that talk I’m gonna be gone and we’re done
Because its not you. Its me, I’m ******
Cause I’ll grow bored and tired and you wont even expect it
Cause I got the wit and I’m quick to call everything quit.
Oct 22, 2017
Oct 22, 2017 at 1:34 PM UTC
Solving for the x. Step by step
Time is clocking theres no time for any misstep
Thought I had been getting ready for these arithmetics
But now I feel like in anesthetics. Maybe it aint in my genetics
These mathematics got me feelin dumb
Aint got energy to solve. Ive been feeding myself of crumbs, been livin in a slum
Aint easy to have the mind in the equations when everything else is off
Balancing these numbers dont go so peasy when all I want to do is tell the world to **** off
Because who cares about this x when theres no money in the checkbook
I got more problems than the chapters in this textbook
Hoping all this senseless calculations will improve my situation
But waiting for the future is hard when Im living on a ration
Been working all my hours in exchange for some dollars
All of this cause my momma said the only ones that make it are the scholars
But the work I put in seems to be less than the money I receive.
And it all goes away to the bills. Got barely any left to live.
Divide the provisions and multiply the meals
Make sure that tonights dinner is a bit more than beans
Hope that my body has had enough proteins to keep all this going on
Because it seems my mind is about to shut down. Dont know if I can find the answer you were hoping for.
Oct 19, 2017
Oct 19, 2017 at 8:46 PM UTC
Wake up, eyes barely open and you already chugging that coffee.
Brain barely responding and you are already heading to the office
Making dollars for someone else on borrowed time
While you are living on a salary of dimes
Too tired to even enjoy your waking life
Functionin like a zombie but you wishing for the afterlife
Come back from work, eat, clean, sleep and restart
Waiting for the moment when the burden is gone. You're done for the day. You've done your part
You saving for the 401k a couple cents per pay. Hopin you'll reach retirement age.
Convince yourself that this is a fair wage
Most of it going towards your bills, really hoping you dont fall ill
Probably wont even touch your funds. Will go to whoever is in your will.
Used to chase dreams now you're running away from bad debt
Think this is what the rest of your life is gonna look like? You bet.
Used to buy suits for your dream job now you're still in the sofa wearing your sweats
Get used to it. This is as good as it gets
They say your whole life is ahead of you. Have faith.
But between your 7am shift and bed when you gonna have time to chase your dreams. At 8?
Too late thats dinner time. Better make sure youre getting your proteins and greens
Thats all you still got control on. Dont let it go, by all means.
Oct 16, 2017
Oct 16, 2017 at 6:06 AM UTC
All I hear is talk about success.
Words that come through one ear and get stuck deep in the chest
Money, fame, a leading career
But all I got is debt, a bad temp job, and a cold cracked beer.
Bills keep accumulating, time is running short
Unfulfilled dreams in every adult life, makes you wonder if it’s all even worth a shot
If my morals were a bit lower and my chest a bit bigger I would already be a stripper
Life’s set up so you are born a quitter
Started from the bottom and stayed there
Because can’t climb a mountain without the proper gear
Don’t have money for the hooks, nor the time to hit the books
In this date and time, I’d probably be better off investing in my looks
Working full time, studying full time, living part time,
Do it for now, because this is it, you are at your prime.
It’s only temporary, it’s all worth it because you are climbing the corporate ladder,
Your work is timed, you better not use off the company’s time. Better hold onto your bladder
Maybe I’m better off trying to climb up that stripper pole
Because exposing yourself seems better than this slow mental death. Come on stare at my hole
Because my mind is gone, didn’t make any gold, just kept on the digging
Here I am swinging, and tripping, you better keep on tipping.
Oct 13, 2017
Oct 13, 2017 at 10:00 PM UTC
Because when you need a friend all you find are friendly foes
Because when you’re smiles and laughs they’ll search for you
But when you’re sad and in pain they’ll point at you
Or worse they’ll turn their back at your sad old woes
Because your tears are simply warnings signs to keep away
Sadness is contagious , they already feel the temperature rising
“If I come too close I’ll sink, too bad you’re drowning”
Because if you stay alone maybe you’ll try on and swim back to the bay
Its sink or swim, and **** babe, it looks like you’re sinking
Don’t matter you’re carrying the anchor, no one is lifting the weight off your shoulders
You’ve done it yourself, why you gotta keep getting trapped between those boulders?
Why would they risk a backache? When they know you’ll do it alone, they know you’ll keep on trying
And if you don’t, on who’s conscience does that rest?
Not on theirs, no one ever got involved in your tangled mess
It’s on you, but why does it matter, there’s no one left to impress
You’re on your own, and you’re at the bottom, you failed the test.
Oct 13, 2017
Oct 13, 2017 at 9:17 PM UTC