You’re everywhere but here
I see you from far but why not near?
Why are you so distant to my presence?
Did our history, I guess we had one, for you had no essence?
I firmly believe, you don’t miss me at all
Why would you even?
I was the one who pushed you away, I recall.
I stand here far away,
Still trying to catch a glimpse of you
Maybe I’ll be worthy of you?
I don’t know why I got so attached
But you are a drug to me
And your effect I will forever have.
It’s like a maze
The story of our relationship
Neither are we “just friends”
Nor are we “something more”
We are just two ghosts,
Left so sore,
That we don’t even know who we are to each other, anymore.
I crave to see you,
To be around your aura,
Your love was never owned by me,
But some part of mine you’ll always own.
Thinking of the delay,
I always mourn
Or in anger I either groan
Why did I make this fault?
Couldn’t I be honest a little before?
This is my realm of your fantasies,
You’re perfect to me,
However you might be,
You’re flawless and I’m just nobody.
Maybe she did the right thing,
By guiding me to this door,
To exit from your life,
Forever and never return to your shore.
I do not complain about whatever I own,
Instead I just love and adore,
All those who stood and are beside me
Forever and more.
But this love will never die,
‘Cause I have hope,
That one day you’ll realize we deserved something much more,
And that this story of us,
Is far away from over or too early to be a bore.
Jun 13, 2019
Jun 13, 2019 at 5:17 AM UTC
I do not see you that way
I do not see you that way everyone tells me,
I see you as someone with a pure soul and different from
others completely.
I do not meet you that often,
but this corner in my heart you have left softened,
that you keep coming to my mind
[sometimes if I wish, sometimes out of it]
and sometimes my worries you outshine.
In the past I tried hating you,
for some reason I might still do.
But the part of me which still loves you,
doesn't allow me to do that too.
You're not mine,
but my heart has a piece of you,
you always live in mind,
but I want you around too.
I have never been able to love so much before,
but surprisingly this love developed more,
filling in the void of my empty heart,
you're its forever tenant and for you its doors will
be kept always
ajar!
Jan 21, 2019
Jan 21, 2019 at 10:43 AM UTC
I get judged
I get eve-teased
I get killed
Outside by burns
Or even inside the womb - as stated by medical terms
I get thrown out
If I’m not fertile
And I get called names
If I have a child
Without getting a wedding-tied
I get beaten
I get blamed
Even if the fault isn’t mine
I get objectified
And told “She wanted it”
But I still come out of it just fine
Even then
I get pained
I get tired
I get hurt
I bleed a lot
Not from only the physical/mental wounds
But each month in my own blood I get drowned
I get locked up
Sliding from the door step rotten food comes
On the floor of dust
I even am given ash and cloth to soak my ‘dirt’
Little do they realise it’s just a part of how we can ‘give birth’
I get humiliated
I get hatred
I also get good things and lot of love instead of blames or non-sensible names
By those who are sane
In places only few
Cause it’s still an idea new
To save a girl and her esteem too.
I get discrimination,
Please, for sake of humanity,
And not a new government policy.
Change this inhuman tradition.
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 7:03 AM UTC
With the summer breeze touch on my neck,
I’ll infer it’s you.
When the winds start to be sharper,
I’ll gladly open my arms to you.
When the snowy snow-balls fall on my face,
Condensing the pores of my skin,
And cooling down, my burning of a heart,
I’ll infer it’s you.
I’ll infer it’s you when a little one walks alone in the rains,
And jumps into the puddles of mud water deliberately,
Holding on to the air for her balance,
And squeaking a silent scream when she’s fearing to fall.
And laughs idiotically over her silliness,
And blushes away from me when she knows I have been watching
Intently, I won’t stop gazing at her,
But my eyes will surely bleed,
If that is possible,
To see her jump, trip and fall and walk,
Still get up and with a smile new.
I’ll infer it’s you.
When she’ll also have petty queries in calculating her sums,
I’ll infer it’s you,
When her childhood opens up and she balances her bicycle,
While pedaling she watches me too,
I’ll be sure and infer it’s you.
When her knees will be sprained
And her elbows would pain
And she would hiss in her ache
I will provide her aid
And take away her ail.
When she’d again get up to rejoice,
And tumble upon the furniture,
Then run away in fear of being caught,
I’ll infer that it’s you.
When she’ll leave behind her dolls to comb her own hair,
When she’ll fall in a struggle everyday on what to wear,
When she’ll tell me I’m not understanding her,
And when her impatience will make me scold her,
She’ll run away to a picture hanging on the wall,
And complain her heart and tears out.
But then she’d come back to me apologizing,
Knowing her wrongs and she’d then be strong.
Her teenage will pass too,
And she’ll be prettier than earlier too,
I’ll infer it’s you.
And then she finally will be set to run away,
With her Prince Charming,
Covered with the bride’s attire when she’ll look divine,
With smile on her lips and the wedding vows,
When she’ll set her foot in her carriage,
She’ll turn to again go,
And run in my arms to slide off the tears,
Of her separation,
And I’d not stop them,
They’d not be in my control,
I’ll shower on her our blessings and love,
And when she’ll smile through her glistening eyes,
And proudly add that I look funny when I cry,
I’ll infer it’s you.
My beloved,
I will know it’s you!
Because you live in her,
A part of us!
She is just like you,
No she’s a reflection of her mother
You.
Nov 22, 2018
Nov 22, 2018 at 2:00 AM UTC
How does it feel to be alone?
Just like a leaf does when autumn comes,
Just like a little bird does when time comes to fly away,
Just like a heavy cloud to separate from the waters it holds,
Just like a broken heart which had been in love!
How does it feel to fail?
Just like a toddler crawling for first time on his toes,
Just like a young swan flapping its wings but unable to fly ashore,
Just like a hungry beggar not able to earn,
And just like a little school goer unable to score!
How does it feel to be unheard?
Just like the lava of a volcano,
Just like the silence before a storm,
Just like the sound of burning flames,
Just like the ignored beggar on across your home!
How does it feel to be positive though?
Just like the same bird which now has learnt to fly,
Just like the old fellow who now scores high,
Just like the fulfilled man to have received food,
And just like the lil’ toddler who now runs and smiles.
How does it feel to be happy now?
Just like the sight of rebirth of green leaves in spring,
Just like the now-old bird who has found companions to rely,
Just like the drops of fresh rains and a farmer’s joy,
Just like a heartbroken person learns again how to love and enjoy!
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 2:52 AM UTC
A blank page
My heart was
You were my colored brush
Filling in the white spots with the red of our love
But only to wash it away
I always swept water over it
Not intentionally at all
Maybe I am colour blind after all?
Could you not see the dedication I put to dissolve myself in you?
And in your pain?
I don’t know how to define it, but that’s what my love is
When you couldn’t absorb anymore darkness of the colours you were dipped in me
I engulfed you in my deep ripples to absorb your sufferings
So how could you stop this cycle?
Why did you turn away to other waters?
When you know well enough that without you my oceans will dry up
And I won’t survive long enough
Even if I catch my breath my last wish would be you dipped in me
And I truly would attain salvation.
So come back please?
And give brighter shades of happy songs of love
To my gloomy melancholies of heartbreak and loneliness.
I swear I wouldn’t survive long enough
And even if I catch my breath my death desire would want you dipped in me
Only then, I will attain salvation truly!
Aug 28, 2018
Aug 28, 2018 at 11:43 AM UTC
They meet
They greet
No common hobbies till later
But one common friend they had
No one was sure why they even met?
Not at least the two of them
Soon became friends
Exchanged texts
Later thoughts
Unexpectedly bumped into one another a lot
Maybe it was a sign from the Lord
They were meant to be after all?
Soon shared the same feelings
Became the un-named home for each other
She gave him comfort while he made her smile again
Still they didn’t label their bond as anything exclusive
But inside she knew
Maybe he did too
But neither of them opened up
Until she broke the ice
But too late, because he had taken a step to break her heart
He called her his best friend
She had quite a hint
What was going on
But couldn’t completely move on
Not because she had any grudge
But because she was too broken now
Not by him
But by love she was always destroyed
It never meant anything did it?
Backed off for a while
From him, love and maybe a bit of her life
She got someone too
Never felt the same but maybe cause the feelings were too new
The two of them became friends again
But all in vain
The secrets of the past unfolded
Let some people down
And her ‘someone’ left her alone
But came back in a while
Worked on things
More on feelings
And soon he was pushed completely out of sight
And blamed not by her but by her actions
Amidst all this some bad experiences took place
‘He would have been so caring in such a case’
She thought
A lot
But just kept mum
Accepting the present is right
That’s what she thinks at the time
Love is different this time maybe
Sweet and sour or salty
But deep inside her feelings she couldn’t ****
He still had a place in her heart not completely, but against her will
She gets love
But not the same type
She’s respected
Maybe
Or not
I don’t know
He’s happy she thinks
He was nice
His girl is too
Really caring he was maybe still he do
Pushed me away
Lied and ran
To protect my honor
Not like others who care about their ego more
She kept thinking in her mind’s indoor
Maybe she’ll meet him again someday
When they will both be able to actually meet
But not only to greet
To unite as one
Only if possible
She wishes still
Only if she had taken that step before
Their love could have been eternal
And would have won!
But till that day
He didn’t know her
She didn’t either
They just existed in a parallel universe
Nothing more than known-strangers!
Jun 24, 2018
Jun 24, 2018 at 2:35 PM UTC
Breaking up is not hurting me
As much as that memory
I justified myself not cause of fear
But cause anymore comments on my character I can’t bear
Waited so long but couldn’t make anything right
I wasn’t going to hate you ever but now I might
You don’t scare me if you think so
You have just disgusted me each day, more and more
I wasn’t with the same person since the past few days
I know this wouldn’t be of any use as I know what everyone says
Just gaining attention I am
They might point at that
Then they’d pretend to believe and sympathies with me now
But their true colors would be visible once they ask me how could I allow?
It’s ironic for a girl who was writing against being abused
To have become a victim and was tried to be seduced
I have always heard it’s right if you understand one another and love
But since the third time or so I felt it was enough
Million people million mouths
How will I shut them all out?
I won’t even try at all
Because now I’ve nothing to lose at all
I might even cry for an hour or rather not even a drop
Cause I might have told you to stop
But I never took any initiative to get away from that act
And this might be a true fact
That I let my guard down on my own will
And letting you in had been a part of my sin
I don’t know where to go now I don’t have anything to hold on
Neither do I have anyone beside me to make me feel strong and help me move on
Curse me lord! If I’m anywhere wrong
Cause after all this time I expected myself to be strong
But I’m nothing more than a mindless *****
I just kept on squeaking when I actually should have roared
That’s why now mostly by people I am being ignored
I’m not blaming only that person but also me
How could I lower it so much - my self-esteem?
Believe me, in all this I had nothing gained
I have just been accused as wrong and tamed
I have nothing more now to say
Other than just this that I’ve never had anyone with me to stay
Neither a friend nor any lover
But I think now love is something I’ll never think over
I’m done with society
With everyone’s mentality
I am done with not only that memory
But I’m completely and totally done, with me.
May 19, 2018
May 19, 2018 at 6:38 AM UTC
She was broke,
only her heart now spoke.
This was not what she'd asked for,
or wanted to cherish.
But now, she was a pariah
left all alone.
All was not yet lost,
she could still cope,
with a Ray Of Hope...
She struggled and pushed herself through the dark,
and she found it at last,
she no longer needed anyone else's support,
Cause she was now herself- 'A RAY OF HOPE' !
Mar 30, 2018
Mar 30, 2018 at 2:28 PM UTC
Stay Away!
Torn clothes and swollen eyes,
Messy hair and silent cries.
She kept on shrieking all that while,
But no one saved her from that heinous crime.
Yes, you got that right- she was *****
Oops! I'm sorry but she told me she couldn't disclose their names.
Each one of those cruel monsters,
Kept on scratching and licking her body like that of a lobster's.
Wondering who that girl was, right?
What would come over you if I tell you it was me- sympathy, hatred or fright?
But alas! I can't name just one girl out of this lot,
But even if I'm ready to fight, would the society accept or let me live with peace, the answer is simple- No, they'll NOT!
Even if I keep their identities no more un-named,
People might beat them up or send them to jail,
But after a while my clothes would be judged,
They’d all forget my pain and I’d just get blamed.
“Every girl, everywhere needs to watch out!”
That’s what they say whenever we step out.
But just ask yourself, have you ever instructed your sons to stop staring or play those stupid eve-teasing games?
Because there’s where it all starts from the idea of planning rapes…
You, being a man might never know this,
But I know, the amount of pain a woman suffers, which you fail to notice.
Every girl gets ***** in some way or another,
What’s wrong in staring right? It’s just another form of a friendly gesture.
But, gestures don’t seem friendly,
When your eyes pierce mine.
But you never look away instead, you wink proudly,
With a wicked smile.
I agree you never touched me,
But that look in your eyes scares me to death mentally.
I know you never ****** me up,
But just that action you did by pulling your zipper up,
Was enough for me to choke myself up.
I know you’ve an excuse ready to defend yourself,
Advise me to dress properly, and cover myself?
If that’s the problem as you all say,
Then why did it happen to the girl in a cloak the other day?
And if you still feel like you were just having fun like any usual day,
Then how’d you feel if, someone looks at your sister in that way?
I might not know what *** feels like,
But I surely know the intensity of the pain you wanted to induce in me at that point of time.
I wouldn’t say stop your feelings and never confess or come forward to say,
But, if she says “No” in any way,
The best way for you would just be to- Stay Away!
Mar 30, 2018
Mar 30, 2018 at 2:20 PM UTC