kennedy-cosette - Hello Poetry

You are the cigarette I can’t put down An ache held deep in my chest After I’m done I hate the taste in my mouth You burn hot and you burn out fast Never takes long for **** to go south I swear each time will be the last The next day I buy another pack I light you up and **** you down I look in the mirror; it starts to crack Others notice I’m dropping weight 30 lbs in 2 months, a strict diet of devotion and hate My grandma tells me I look great What’s my secret? Cigarettes and you; keep washing me away I’m burning up too fast too drown Still I can’t put you or this ******* cigarette down

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May 31, 2023

May 31, 2023 at 3:08 PM UTC

Can’t Quit

You are the cigarette I can’t put down An ache held deep in my chest After I’m done I hate the taste in my mouth You burn hot and you burn out fast Never takes long for **** to go south I swear each time will be the last The next day I buy another pack I light you up and **** you down I look in the mirror; it starts to crack Others notice I’m dropping weight 30 lbs in 2 months, a strict diet of devotion and hate My grandma tells me I look great What’s my secret? Cigarettes and you; keep washing me away I’m burning up too fast too drown Still I can’t put you or this ******* cigarette down

16

Pink athletic shorts Bursting at the seams With all this new body Hips and waist and *** You said “It’s about time to retire those don’t you think?” 2 months later They hang loosely past my hip bones Hiding the body that dissolved The person who is no longer there And I’m glad I kept them So they could swallow me whole

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May 8, 2023

May 8, 2023 at 7:18 PM UTC

seams

Pink athletic shorts Bursting at the seams With all this new body Hips and waist and *** You said “It’s about time to retire those don’t you think?” 2 months later They hang loosely past my hip bones Hiding the body that dissolved The person who is no longer there And I’m glad I kept them So they could swallow me whole

12

I realized as I aged that my own intensity was not easily weathered by any man. Or any person. My almond eyes were Venus flytraps to the ghosts of my past who were drawn in all too quickly, only to be devoured by their ceaseless lust and depraved need. There was no dial to my passion, once awakened it could only be suppressed to a dull roar. Many who met my gaze disintegrated before me into piles of dust and rubble and hollow disappointment. They say eyes are the window to the soul, and I thought mine was host to a terrible demon or succubus. I only discovered as my brain finished stitching together in my early adulthood that it is not demons who crumble weak men with their eyes, but goddesses

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Feb 26, 2021

Feb 26, 2021 at 6:54 PM UTC

The Divine

I realized as I aged that my own intensity was not easily weathered by any man. Or any person. My almond eyes were Venus flytraps to the ghosts of my past who were drawn in all too quickly, only to be devoured by their ceaseless lust and depraved need. There was no dial to my passion, once awakened it could only be suppressed to a dull roar. Many who met my gaze disintegrated before me into piles of dust and rubble and hollow disappointment. They say eyes are the window to the soul, and I thought mine was host to a terrible demon or succubus. I only discovered as my brain finished stitching together in my early adulthood that it is not demons who crumble weak men with their eyes, but goddesses

10

Confrontations of candor Bittersweet release Relentless ghosts whisper “The devil is in the details” Chemical haze; colored sands of stark contrast I can’t seem to sift through Tight grips White knuckled grasping It runs through my fingertips regardless A heart stitched together with scar tissue Thick, white lines etched carefully on thighs If my heart grows Will I find stretch marks there, too? Silky smooth tracing With bony fingertips The birth of fresh skin cells Each year more and more Skin dissolves into dust from before It runs through my fingertips regardless The girl with the protruding rib cage With fire just behind Blue-green, ever-shifting eyes She branded passion into her arms With a lit cigarette Eyes that only saw black or white Torment suffered red Pain inflicted blue Fused into monochrome shades of slate Digging up her grave Clawing at the dirt and sand Until blood runs down soft hands Struggling to separate the two Dry, dry sand It slips through my fingertips regardless

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Jun 30, 2020

Jun 30, 2020 at 12:14 PM UTC

Confrontations of Candor

Confrontations of candor Bittersweet release Relentless ghosts whisper “The devil is in the details” Chemical haze; colored sands of stark contrast I can’t seem to sift through Tight grips White knuckled grasping It runs through my fingertips regardless A heart stitched together with scar tissue Thick, white lines etched carefully on thighs If my heart grows Will I find stretch marks there, too? Silky smooth tracing With bony fingertips The birth of fresh skin cells Each year more and more Skin dissolves into dust from before It runs through my fingertips regardless The girl with the protruding rib cage With fire just behind Blue-green, ever-shifting eyes She branded passion into her arms With a lit cigarette Eyes that only saw black or white Torment suffered red Pain inflicted blue Fused into monochrome shades of slate Digging up her grave Clawing at the dirt and sand Until blood runs down soft hands Struggling to separate the two Dry, dry sand It slips through my fingertips regardless

34

With you, everything I thought was an ending Has become a beginning All the pain All the suffering I’d relive every broken minute Every cut Every lonely night Every reckless encounter If only to have a brief moment of you And your golden brown eyes That have seen such darkness but ******* I see the sun dance across them Like a beacon of hope Every scar Every tattoo Where you display your pain On the canvas of your tired body Only deepens my love for you I wish I could be for you All you’ve been for me A life giving rain I’ll tend to all those abandoned flowers You hide deep in your brain Even neglected, they are so beautiful Sometimes I can see them blooming when you speak They’re roses I can see them right behind that spark in your eyes That you keep locked away Because your heart is tainted dark with shame But, my love, with a little rain A touch of sunlight And a few warm words I can mend them They’ll bloom so no one can ever deny they’re there Not even you. You are not decayed You are not a lost cause You are not depraved This is not the ending This is our real beginning You are no longer Loveless

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Jul 10, 2018

Jul 10, 2018 at 8:23 PM UTC

Loveless

With you, everything I thought was an ending Has become a beginning All the pain All the suffering I’d relive every broken minute Every cut Every lonely night Every reckless encounter If only to have a brief moment of you And your golden brown eyes That have seen such darkness but ******* I see the sun dance across them Like a beacon of hope Every scar Every tattoo Where you display your pain On the canvas of your tired body Only deepens my love for you I wish I could be for you All you’ve been for me A life giving rain I’ll tend to all those abandoned flowers You hide deep in your brain Even neglected, they are so beautiful Sometimes I can see them blooming when you speak They’re roses I can see them right behind that spark in your eyes That you keep locked away Because your heart is tainted dark with shame But, my love, with a little rain A touch of sunlight And a few warm words I can mend them They’ll bloom so no one can ever deny they’re there Not even you. You are not decayed You are not a lost cause You are not depraved This is not the ending This is our real beginning You are no longer Loveless

42

She’s a ***** They say As she lies on her back They hear the moans and whispers But they can’t see Her vacant eyes Or her clenched teeth They can’t see that she was trained Trained to please A piece of her soul is taken Each man takes a piece But they can’t see the broken human Beneath They don’t understand “no” She was taught to be this way Taught to suffer silently She’s a harlot They say She gives them what they want Little do they know Inside she is screaming Increasingly repulsed by their touch but her body is not her own So she lies in her coffin It’s easier to rot away He rolls off of her corpse Panting She’s a **** He’ll say It was so easy She’s a ***** But she’s the one who pays

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Oct 8, 2017

Oct 8, 2017 at 6:26 PM UTC

The *****

She’s a ***** They say As she lies on her back They hear the moans and whispers But they can’t see Her vacant eyes Or her clenched teeth They can’t see that she was trained Trained to please A piece of her soul is taken Each man takes a piece But they can’t see the broken human Beneath They don’t understand “no” She was taught to be this way Taught to suffer silently She’s a harlot They say She gives them what they want Little do they know Inside she is screaming Increasingly repulsed by their touch but her body is not her own So she lies in her coffin It’s easier to rot away He rolls off of her corpse Panting She’s a **** He’ll say It was so easy She’s a ***** But she’s the one who pays

33

I can hear my bones rattling With every labored breath I sink further just below the surface Of crystal clear water The drugs can’t quell the sadness Another sip of poison To erase the image Of your lips on hers My hands tremor constantly In the absence of yours The purity of loneliness Is only matched by The sharpness of pain One only feels when their soul mate Lies with another It is gut wrenching sadness Tainted with shame

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Sep 28, 2017

Sep 28, 2017 at 8:22 PM UTC

Absence

I can hear my bones rattling With every labored breath I sink further just below the surface Of crystal clear water The drugs can’t quell the sadness Another sip of poison To erase the image Of your lips on hers My hands tremor constantly In the absence of yours The purity of loneliness Is only matched by The sharpness of pain One only feels when their soul mate Lies with another It is gut wrenching sadness Tainted with shame

18

I am a sponge To the suffering Of others Willfully Sinfully I will drink away your pain I lick the hurt from my lips But there is a stain Growing ever larger A hole Deep in my soul I give all I can And strive not to take I was a hurricane Now all I feel Is soft love and dull pain I am fertilizer Deep in the soil Decaying Nourishing others By depriving myself Stitching together torn souls In exchange for my own

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Aug 27, 2017

Aug 27, 2017 at 9:19 AM UTC

Starvation

I am a sponge To the suffering Of others Willfully Sinfully I will drink away your pain I lick the hurt from my lips But there is a stain Growing ever larger A hole Deep in my soul I give all I can And strive not to take I was a hurricane Now all I feel Is soft love and dull pain I am fertilizer Deep in the soil Decaying Nourishing others By depriving myself Stitching together torn souls In exchange for my own

23

I am not a landfill for Insecurities I am not the void to repair Damaged masculinity Yes, I am a woman Comfortable with my sexuality But, aren't I supposed to decide When i want that kind of intimacy? Everyone's got their demons I'm always the dirt beneath their shoes As the climb from the pit I want to be more I want to be whole I want to be strong enough To stop it when I say no **** is a four letter word I wish I didn't feel it in my bones When the one I loved hushed my cries, I said no

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Mar 24, 2017

Mar 24, 2017 at 2:10 AM UTC

Used

I am not a landfill for Insecurities I am not the void to repair Damaged masculinity Yes, I am a woman Comfortable with my sexuality But, aren't I supposed to decide When i want that kind of intimacy? Everyone's got their demons I'm always the dirt beneath their shoes As the climb from the pit I want to be more I want to be whole I want to be strong enough To stop it when I say no **** is a four letter word I wish I didn't feel it in my bones When the one I loved hushed my cries, I said no

19

We were abused In the same way And yet you used me I see fire in your eyes and I see comfort in your smile. I see everything that moves me, I thought nothing would ever move me again but there you were With beer on your jacket I am panting admiration But your touch is toxic And you touched me well You loved me You never found yourself so you lost me. But then i lost me You ruined me So vulnerable at seventeen I have lost that weakness Calloused and cold Sometimes the darkness won't let go But I am stronger now Xanax dreams don't leave In other bottles I find release

0

Nov 23, 2016

Nov 23, 2016 at 1:49 AM UTC

The Abuse

We were abused In the same way And yet you used me I see fire in your eyes and I see comfort in your smile. I see everything that moves me, I thought nothing would ever move me again but there you were With beer on your jacket I am panting admiration But your touch is toxic And you touched me well You loved me You never found yourself so you lost me. But then i lost me You ruined me So vulnerable at seventeen I have lost that weakness Calloused and cold Sometimes the darkness won't let go But I am stronger now Xanax dreams don't leave In other bottles I find release

20