I went out to find
Some value in me,
So I sold what I had
For little a fee.
My eyes for a penny
I sold to some fools,
They're blind and useless,
Mistook for jewels.
My lips for a nickel
To the sweetest sin,
So they'll know the love
That has never been.
My ears for a dime
I sold to a lover.
To hear sweet nothings,
And silence uncover.
My hands for a quarter
I sold to a ghost,
So that she might feel
What I've wanted the most.
Finally my bones for a dollar
I sold to the earth,
But as for my soul-
There was found no worth.
Aug 20, 2023
Aug 20, 2023 at 10:48 PM UTC
I was born with sadness built in
Even my grandmother said, that is too much pain for a child to know
And so I stand in my shower
And I cry
And I don't care how ugly it looks
And I cry
So hard it feels like retching
And I cry
From a place I have always known
And I cry
I fear I always will.
Aug 20, 2023
Aug 20, 2023 at 9:48 PM UTC
Brew the coffee
Brush your teeth
Get dressed
The world is on fire
Get in your car
Drive to work
Sit at your desk
The world is on fire
Pay the bills
Clean the house
Feed the kids
The world is on fire
Take a shower
Lay your head
Start again
The world is on fire
Check your phone
Read the news
Wipe your tears
The world is on fire
Look around
See the flames
Feel the fears
The world is on fire
Wave your arms
Scream for help
No one listens
The world is on fire
Try to breathe
Want to leave
No one sees
The world is on fire
Hang your head
Time for bed
Start again
The world is on fire
Brew the coffee
Brush your teeth
Get dressed
The world is on fire
Aug 20, 2023
Aug 20, 2023 at 9:39 PM UTC
I'd hear the word
And recoil from it
The thought of prayer
Left me disgusted
How hard it is
To face each day
While gripping nihilism
So intensely that
Your knuckles turn white
What's the point
Of goals and dreams
If everything
Means nothing
And when you die
It's just like it was
Before you were born
You don't exist and
You don't even know it
Why waste my time
Doing anything of value
When I can drown myself
In drugs and *****
And still expire
Just the same as you
Yet once in a while
That question would
Push it's way into
My consciousness
"How could all of this be meaningless?"
The seed was planted
And as it grew
It broke through
That existential dread
Leaving just enough room
For hope to crawl in
I started to think that
Maybe there's more
To all of this chaos
Than anything I could
Ever comprehend
And who am I
To be so sure there's not
Then slowly my
Perspective shifted
My mind was open
And I no longer
Viewed the world
As upside down
Though the universe
Will always remain
A mystery
And the truth is something
I will never catch
For today,
I find myself okay
With "maybe..."
Feb 21, 2019
Feb 21, 2019 at 2:26 PM UTC
I can’t pretend
That you’re my friend
I’ve gotta defend
My side
I’m so ******* angry
You make me crazy
Not gunna back down and hide
Cause I’m fed up
With your games
At least a bully
Has the courage
To talk ****
To someone’s face
But you’re a coward
Your ***** work is done in whispers
Behind turned backs
Well, you won’t stick a knife in mine
Because I’ve changed, you see
Used to take your **** so passively
But this time
You’ll get a parting gift,
A piece of my mind
It’s over now
Don’t try to turn this around
My tongue will give you lashings
Leave you laying on the ground
So I suggest you stay away
No more than “Hi” after today
Put your tail between your legs
There’s no food here for a stray
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 3:53 PM UTC
I’d rather write than speak
My pen is always responsive
My ink doesn’t judge my mistakes
My paper doesn’t argue
My lines never cross me
My sentences never disappoint
And my words will never leave me
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 12:15 PM UTC
UP
The world is mine
To reinvent myself
Breathe in euphoria
Like oxygen
Barely sleep a wink
Racing thoughts turn
Into words
Dying to get past my lips
Coming toward you
At rapid speeds
My energy
Is motivation
I can’t quit
Can’t sit
Still
Til I
C
R
A
S
H
Vitality draining
Through my pores
Leaving behind
Tired bones
That can’t get out of bed
Wishing I were dead
Even a shower
Seems impossible
Sleeping is my
Only escape
I isolate
Filled with hate
There is no hope
I’m all alone
DOWN
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 18, 2019 at 3:00 PM UTC
I just want to
Believe the things
I wrote about myself
On yellow Post-It notes
Stuck to my mirror
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 18, 2019 at 1:31 PM UTC
What happened to the days
When I could be
Unapologetically me
Liquid confidence and *******
Not afraid
Of anybody’s judgements
Numbing the pain
But now I’m sober and
I’m stuck with just myself
Can’t break free from the discomfort
Of being trapped in my own skin
Insecurities and inhibition
Flowing through me like
A toxic injection
But I’m healthy and
My ***** in line
Why can’t I give
Credit where it’s deserved
Instead I focus on the
Road that lies ahead
Rather than
How far I’ve trudged
Uncertainty trembles with
Every word
So ******* awkward
And everyone heard
Obsess about it for
Hours on end
As if this cycle of thought
Can somehow change
The way things happened
I tell myself
That nothing could be worse
Than being slave
To a substance
But something’s gotta change
Someone, somewhere
Teach me how to be sane
Or I’ll pick up that shovel
And start digging again
Feb 18, 2019
Feb 18, 2019 at 10:41 AM UTC
How can one believe
That there is no other life
In the universe?
Feb 17, 2019
Feb 17, 2019 at 11:57 AM UTC