But maybe its because I fell in love with the way he grins
The cheeky-ness of his smile
The way he teases me
While looking straight in my eyes
The way his back move when he takes off his sweater
Arms crossing over his head
And his t-shirt lifts
Just the slightest bit
Muscular but thin
Pale and freckled
But maybe its because I fell in love with something
That was more perfect for me
Than my reflection
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 11:23 AM UTC
I never used to look at my friends like flowers
Never thought they could be plucked out
Before, I danced in my imagination
With the word ‘forever’ sketched into every blade of grass
I used to close my eyes and smile
Because every part of the world I was involved in seemed
Just right
The pieces of my puzzle just fit together
But when you remove a flawed piece
It doesn’t keep it as a whole
But keeps it with a hole instead
You can’t build a brick wall without bricks
Or a chain without links
Air doesn’t act like glue
And the pit in my stomach
Can’t be fixed without you
The thought of you not here
Is like a movie playing in an empty theatre
Shoes hung up on a telephone wire
This is a poem because white noise doesn’t fill
It just leaves a light buzz in your ears
The anticipation of a rock being thrown into water
And waiting
Waiting
Waiting for a noise that won’t come
Waiting for your seat at the back of the class
To be sat in
Waiting for jokes to be funny again
For someone’s hug to feel the same
Waiting for the space made by you
And your absence
To be filled again
May 27, 2014
May 27, 2014 at 10:37 PM UTC
Because if I close my eyes
The stars in my head align enough
That the maze I’ve put myself in
Makes sense
Because in reality the labyrinth never comes to an end
Our world is always going to be a little bit messed up
And twisted
And confusing
You’ll get picked up to be thrown back down
Told lies instead of truth
Over and over
But maybe that’s why we like to dream
Because in our dreams
The movie is shown on the inside of our minds
Flashing pictures on our memories
Inserting lines of perfection and magic into our imagination
Because our dreams are made of people we have seen
And places we’ve imagined
Somewhere in between make believe and the present
You find the world you’ve always wanted to be in
The one of your dreams
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 12:27 AM UTC
He looked at me like my eyes were adventures
Like the stories inside
Were just like the ones he flipped through as a kid
Like my secrets were scripts
I was planned out and he was just along for the ride
for the story
When he looked at me
I could feel him digging
trying to find al the things i was going to hide
remove everything that flawed me
At least that's what he thought
Before him I had no wall
But when he asked me about the scars on my wrist
The wall around me went up
Shutting the door to my eyes
Sewing my mouth back shut
because I knew
for me to explain the truth
He would try to remove it from inside me
My heart in my chest would be torn from its cage
and through my mouth
Taking it as if it was on my sleeve
because he thought this would be the best for me
He would try to wash away my scars
unknowing of the new ones he created inside
I put a wall up because I didn't want him to see me
Or try to
Because when he asked why I didn't like the colour of my hair
The ocean of my eyes
burned like a forest fire
They burned inside of me
to a crisp
As if he wanted a fresh start so he cleared me out
Like I could be removed like his story book
but he left me with ash and ruins instead
Just a shell of what I was
Because when he asked why I didn't like my thighs
I bent my legs
and covered them with my arms
As if he thought talking about it would make me see
"what he saw"
As if I'd forget the feel of them rubbing together
dotted with brown
Like my mind would forget my waist
shoulders
all my imperfections of my reflection
Because when he asked why I smoke
or drink
or any form of drugs
Why I'd stop eating
or would throw up
I just smiled
And words spilled from his mouth about life and death
About lessons and tales people had told him
because he had never experienced them himself
never would
As hard as he tried
we would never see eye to eye
I know if I handed him my pen
He'd rewrite my story
but that's my adventure
and what makes my eyes glow
He looked at me like my eyes were adventures
Like stories he heard as a child
But when he found out was was hidden between the lines
He set those books alight
and tossed my heart in with them too
But I grabbed it before the flames engulfed it completely
Mar 27, 2014
Mar 27, 2014 at 5:28 PM UTC
If love looked at you, would you look away?
If he look you up and down
If she glanced at your lips and back into your eyes
As if a trail was left from their path
The way their eyes drew along the curves of your cheeks
Memorizing the structure of your being
If you stared into their eyes
And could feel them exploring your secrets
Reading through the diary of your past
Flipping through the photo album of your memory
If love touched you, would you back away?
If their hands inched down your arm
flowing across your wrists
Linking fingers and touching palms
Your knees weak
Smile forming
Would you move their hand
from gliding through thousands of strands of hair
Caressing your head
If love spoke to you, would you cover your ears?
Letting the soft words slip through the cracks of your fingers
The sweet melody of their voice filling your mind
Their words making you glow
If she spoke to you
If he said a single word
Would you let the word replay in your head
Until the tones and sounds
Locked themselves in your memory
If loves voice sent shivers down your spine
If it made you happy
Would you turn it down in fear?
Look away from what can't be true
*If you spoke to love, what would you say?
Is there anything to be said at all?*
Mar 14, 2014
Mar 14, 2014 at 9:17 PM UTC
*Carve your words into the back of my neck
With the breathe of your voice
Feed it through my blood
Sew me back up
Because until then
You haven’t really known me
And I won't believe a word you have said*
Feb 25, 2014
Feb 25, 2014 at 10:52 AM UTC
You’re mediocre
A cup of cold coffee
Once warm and awakening
Faded into a bitter luke warm cup of deep umber
You’re okay
Like the bottom of a sunrise slipping out for a mere second
A splash of colour
And sinking right back into the clouds
You’re average
Fixable
Replaceable
Feb 25, 2014
Feb 25, 2014 at 1:38 AM UTC
Right now I'm supposed to be doing something else
Anything else really
Maybe listening to you talk
Caring about “where my life’s going to go”
I don’t know it’s just something about you
Don’t get me wrong
You’re a great person and all
But something about your voice
And this conversation
Makes me want to slam a door on my head repeatedly
And the minutes feel like years
I swear the clock has never moved so slow
Like the hands are snails trying to see which one can slide the slowest
to get to an event they didn’t want to go to in the first place
Like me walking to you this morning
Not to sound rude or anything
Feb 4, 2014
Feb 4, 2014 at 1:57 AM UTC
One two three four
Don’t open up my bedroom door
The door is locked
My tongue is tied
There’s no way to describe
My feelings inside
As if a hurricane has ripped my vocal cords from my throat
Leaving me breathless
Speechless
Voiceless
As if my mind was water colour paint on a canvas
Now spread and washed by a cloth
My words are silent
My voice is gone
Five six seven eight
No need hurry it’s too late
The lights are off
My mind is wide
The voices in my head are telling me lies
Or truth
I’m not sure what’s real and what’s not anymore
The room is dark my body’s dead
My minds alive
Nine ten eleven twelve
What I say to you you must never tell
I’ll tell you what I think
But what’s always gone unsaid
The hidden stories in my veins
And the endings they’ve been fed
Everything I see is confused with what I imagine
Everything I say might not be out loud
My ups are downs and rights are lefts
I’m lost in this world
Lost in the sound
Twelve eleven ten nine
No more questions I am fine
I’m just tired
I’m not awake
I needed to spill
Something for you to take
I’m happy I swear
I smile wherever I go
Just a mess was going on in my head
A whirlwind of thoughts was filling my mind
Honestly I am fine
I think
Truth be told I’m falling harder and faster than I ever have
Breaking and crumbling
Eight seven six five
Your words are useless my eyes have died
Don’t try to calm me
Or make me feel safe
I lost that feeling when I was awake
Just leave me here trembling on the floor
Let my thoughts engolf me
Let me writhe away
There’s no need to help me
It was a while ago
When I started going away
Four three two one
You’re too late I’m already done
The stories out
My secrets known
My lights gone out
I did what need to be shown
But for you right now I am no fun
So I dare you
Count down
Four three two one
Jan 27, 2014
Jan 27, 2014 at 1:07 AM UTC
For all we know, we only have one life to live.
One life to make all of our dreams come true, travel the world and leave no regrets.
Only one life to spend time with the ones you love, do what you want, be who you are.
So why is it that we’re all stuck?
Stuck in these walls of society
Why is it that every time we aspire to be who we are, stand out from the crowd, be a little weird or different; that we can’t.
And why is it that these twisted thoughts are filling our minds about who we “should be” or who we should “want to be?”
When was it decided that being you isn’t always okay?
Our world is full of cookie cutter “perfection”
Full of fake people wandering the streets like robots
Walking around in the same clothes, having the same style, same personality, same ambitions, same dreams… Originality is gone.
What happened to following your dreams?
I’ll tell you what might have happened,
Someone that you once looked up to, an adult in your life told you that the world wasn’t your own playground
And they told you exactly what you have to be like to fit in
And in those seconds, they lit your dreams on fire and made you watch them burn to the ground.
And that one person that you trusted so much flipped the switch that made you into another robot
Just like everyone else
Another cookie cutter
Another cardboard cut out
Just those words changed you into the person you once promised yourself you’d never become.
But I dare to disagree on being “perfect”.
I dare to disagree on society’s creation of what girls and guys should be.
I dare to disagree that being different is bad.
Be true to you; stand out.
Where your rain boots in the sun, dance around and sing as you go.
Because we’ve all created this vision of who we need to be
Even if it doesn’t make us happy
A world where young people walk around school hallways hurting each other
Hurting themselves to fit into the standards of others
Hating everything about them that makes them beautiful.
Makes them special
Wanting to change more than anything
Because, every now and again society flips a switch and the rules change
And you’re never good enough.
From trial and error over and over again most of us have figured out that it’s physically impossible to be perfect.
And why should we ever try to be?
I dare to disagree that you’re not perfect.
Actually, I’m not going to just dare to disagree, I refuse to say that each one of us isn’t perfect in our own way.
Each dorky laugh and snort
Every smile and giggle
And if you ever need motivation that it’s okay to be yourself
Go back to preschool and read Dr. Seuss
Because for most of us
since you were old enough to imagine
He was there telling us that it’s okay to be special and quirky
“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?”
Fill the pages, and
“Today you are you, that is truer than true.
There is no one alive that is youer than you!”
So go out in different coloured socks
Smile a bit
But also think,
It’s not just you
It’s not just you at all
Almost everyone is trying to fit in and find ways to be himself or herself
And be happy
So open up your mind
Accept people for who they are
“We have to dare to be ourselves,
However frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”
Don’t listen to mom, dad, teacher, coach, friends about how to live your life
Because that’s the thing
It’s YOUR life
And as a wise poet once said
“Be who you are and say what you feel
Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Jan 25, 2014
Jan 25, 2014 at 5:11 PM UTC