late at night, i lie awake
thinking of things i should have said
all the mistakes i've made
and signs i should've read
then think about what i can't live without
you, front and center in my mind
sometimes it feels like halfway love
almost, but not quite
still, parts of you make me whole
who i am and who i need to be
i think of love letters that weren't torn up
feelings of blue and green
when i'm without you
blank page, artless innocence
i realize how dependent i've grown to you
and feel the need to create a distance
sometimes i look up at the purple sky
and wonder if you're looking too
i gaze at the colors and the beauty of it all
though its beauty would never compare to you
Jan 8, 2025
Jan 8, 2025 at 9:15 AM UTC
times running out,
hear the old ticking clock.
tick tock. time a' running out.
you can't run little girl, for it is much greater. the old man in the clock is quick to take his victims,
'your time is done. the clock has stopped. calm down girl, it will all be over soon'
black takes over your vision, all you hear is the ticking of the old mans clock.
tick tock.
one by one they all stop, growing eerily silent.
Jan 8, 2025
Jan 8, 2025 at 9:14 AM UTC
I'm only here because I have to be, you have something personal of mine. Nothing more, nothing less. Let's call it business.
I wouldn't be here if I didn't need it. I don't need you anymore. I never needed you. I don't need you to be here, I just need it back.
But you see, you have my heart still and I need it back to leave. Can I please just leave? I need it back. I need to leave. I need you out of my life, but I can't have that if you own my heart,
so, please
just give it back and I will be on my way. Please.
Jan 8, 2025
Jan 8, 2025 at 9:13 AM UTC
your hands tighten around my neck and my breathing stops.
i think for a moment that this is love.
you have always punched, kicked, slapped me. i just don't care anymore.
this is love to you, but
this isn't love to me anymore.
Jan 8, 2025
Jan 8, 2025 at 9:09 AM UTC
you never asked to read my poetry
maybe that was the sign.
i told you i wrote for fun,
you shrugged and moved on.
Jan 8, 2025
Jan 8, 2025 at 9:06 AM UTC
I was 15,
And you were 16.
And we met through a computer screen.
And we instantly connected.
And we talked non-stop.
And we became best friends.
And we shared our deepest secrets with one another,
not caring that we were two complete strangers.
That never really mattered.
We were just troubled kids,
longing for someone to talk to.
Someone who felt the things we did.
Someone who wouldn't judge us.
Someone who might possibly understand.
We found that in each other.
You were my solace.
And I loved you.
I told you about how my family was no longer a family.
And you told me about how you didn't know if you could handle much more.
And I was worried.
And you occasionally disappeared for days on end.
And I became frantic.
And you would tell me you were in the hospital.
Those ****** pills again.
And I begged you to stop,
To try and get better.
Because you were my solace.
And I loved you.
I was 16,
and you were 17.
And you had a girlfriend.
And she didnt like me.
Or maybe she just didnt like what we had.
So she made you choose.
And it broke my heart to see you choose her.
Because you were my solace.
And I loved you.
Six months later.
Six devastatingly long months later.
I heard from you again.
And I didn't know how to feel.
So I cried.
Tears of anger, sadness, regret.
But mostly joy.
Because you were back.
You were finally back.
And you were my solace.
And I loved you.
I was 17,
And you were 18.
And we met face to face.
After two long years, it finally happened.
And it was the best night of my life.
And I was so sad to see you leave.
But you had to return to your broken home.
And things got worse for you.
And old habits picked back up.
And your depression consumed you.
And it ate me alive to see you that way.
Because you were my solace.
And I loved you.
I am 18,
And you should be 19.
But you never got to see that day.
Because old habits die hard.
And you finally succeeded.
And my heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest.
But the rest of my body is numb.
And my mind is darker than ever.
Because now I have no one to share my secrets with.
No one to listen.
Because you are gone.
And you were my solace.
And I love you.
~kns
Jan 8, 2025
Jan 8, 2025 at 9:05 AM UTC