I was hoping I would not have to come back here,
typing these pieces. emotions flowing from the tips of my fingers. I am once again broken. I have been fixed before, this time may be irreparable. I can't express with words how it feels to be trapped in your brain, screaming for help. No one hearing your cries and no one feeling your pain.
Feb 21, 2019
Feb 21, 2019 at 10:47 PM UTC
When i hear our song;
my mouth and eyes water simultaneously,
because i want you so badly that it hurts but i know i can never have you again.
Mar 19, 2017
Mar 19, 2017 at 7:28 PM UTC
I can't count on my two hands how many suicide notes I've written.
Some of them were **** near perfect; yet,
They seemed so angry.
Somehow even on my mental death bed,
I was still rewriting this note as some sort of apology to my family and friend.
Some sort of apology I wish someone would've given to me.
The sort of apology that you don't ever second guess. I had to get it right.
Jan 23, 2017
Jan 23, 2017 at 11:01 PM UTC
I want you to know that you ******* killed me.
I want to hurt you like you hurt me.
I hate you but I don't think I have it in my heart to break you the way you broke me.
Jan 5, 2017
Jan 5, 2017 at 11:22 PM UTC
I've been there,
I've gotten the bottle of pills.
Ever since, I've been waiting.
I'm not scared of dying,
I'm scared of getting caught trying to.
Jan 4, 2017
Jan 4, 2017 at 12:08 AM UTC
I just need someone to realize that I'm not okay.
I've tried to tell them that I'm drowning,
They all just claim that they've seen me swim.
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 3, 2017 at 11:22 PM UTC
I need someone,
I don't think I can do it for myself anymore.
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 3, 2017 at 11:18 PM UTC
I was never enough for you,
But now you're not enough for me.
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 3, 2017 at 3:02 AM UTC
Everyone says that if you believe in yourself you can make it.
Then, what happens when you're in an abusive relationship with your brain,
What happens you try to seek help but you're drowning in your own thoughts.
What happens when the thought of a bottle of pills or a gun is just as comforting as a sunny day at the park.
What happens when you just want it over.
What happens when none of your friends realize you haven't been out in months, or that they haven't been able to reach you.
What happens when it wouldn't make a difference anyway.
Jan 3, 2017
Jan 3, 2017 at 2:01 AM UTC
I walk down streets,
wondering why I cannot feel anything.
My sister informed me that this is an uncommon form of depression,
I remember months ago when I felt everything so deeply I could barely speak.
I want that back,
I want to feel the unstoppable sadness and pain.
I want to feel the tears sliding down my face.
I want to feel the rare hour long rushes of joy, only to have the sadness take me over again not even an hour later.
I want to feel these things because I need something.
Not feeling anything eats you alive from the inside out.
Its like floating in the ocean but not feeling the water and sunshine.
It's like reading an amazing book but never meeting the characters.
It is pain.
It is my life.
Nov 8, 2016
Nov 8, 2016 at 7:01 PM UTC