I don't really hate you
but im not
necessarily happy
that you even exist
in my world
Jun 5, 2015
Jun 5, 2015 at 11:53 PM UTC
It wasn't a suicide attempt,it was an escape from everything awful.When we cut,we're in control.We make our pain, and we can stop it whenever we want.Physical pain relieves mental anguish.For a brief moment,the pain of cutting is the only thing in the cutter's mind,and when that stops and the other pain comes back, its weaker.Drugs do that too,and sex,But not like cutting.Nothing is like cutting
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 3:45 AM UTC
this loneliness is starting to
eat away at me again
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 3:02 AM UTC
each day i wake the same
feeling violated
i have to scrub myself toget ride of you touch
why does this nightmare always feel the same
i feel your fist pounding into me
i can hear your words
as the tear me apart
put me down ,
tear apart what i have tried to put back together
these nightmare break me all-over again
break what is good in me
shatter what was hole
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 3:18 AM UTC
as the tears role down my face
I hold that little knife so tight
scared of what will unfold
ignoring all the warning signals
I know this wont end well
but im just so mad I cant get it
pushing the knife down
feeling the sting
feeling the blood flow
one line after the other
this pain
wont go away
wont leave me alone
theses voices a screaming louder than ever
why cant I just be normal
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 3:41 AM UTC
*mum
I beg you please
don't take me back to this war ground
im forced to see as home
please I beg you
don't make me spend another moment feeling not good enough
don't make me go home to the yelling and screaming*
**they call me names
they put me down
why am I not good enough**
*im trying my best to up hold my promise to you
im trying not to fight with her
im trying to be good enough
im trying to be a good loving big sister*
** I know I let what going on in my head take control
im trying to stay hopeful that these tablets will
FIX WHAT HOLDES ME CAPTIVE**
* please I beg you don't take me home
were I don't belong
were I don't fit in
and were im alone*
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 2:04 AM UTC
I feel like I give so much
to gain be just like the others
I give so much to be happy
but all I do is feel so much smaller
I feel like I give so much
to be loved by my family
but never get
anyone's reassurance, love ,protection
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 1:10 AM UTC
'Cause the walls burned up and our love fell down,
And it turned into whatever, now we're saying never.
Feel the fire 'cause it's all around,
And it's burning for forever and always.
You gotta let it go and be on our way
And live for another day,
'cause it ain't the same, my baby.
Watch it all fall into the ground
No happy ever after, just disaster.
I didn't want it this way,
I only wanted to say I loved you right.
But now you're walking away,
And leaving me here to stay,
So foolish of me to wait for you to realize
All the things I gave you, made you,
Changed you, your dreams came true
When I met you, now forget you,
Don't want anymore
Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 3:06 AM UTC
I surrender to the fear
I surrender to your anger
surrender to the demons holding me here
surrender to all the hate
to the air that I calling me away from
all the surrendering
im surrenedering to all the wrong this
I cant be stuffed fighting
I surrender to you
your hurtful words
my worthlessness
my uselessness
ugliness
but I surrender to your eyes and words
that lead me as I ended up in your bed
playing this same hurtfull
mistake in my head over and over again
Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 2:56 AM UTC
by kate McKay & The Creep Who Lovs You
**their is something guiding me home
to my lover , my happiness
my heartbeats for it
stronger the closer I get
the fiercer so no one can destroy it.**
*Its a melody, a rhythm
That shakes through my bones,
Skipping around, never the same,
But I listen,
And follow the beats to wear
The heart lays.*
**it takes me to your arms
were our heart beat the same
the melody's of our love some
are the same and complete the other
we close our eyes
let our heart do the talking
for once**
*When our careful waltz
Is interrupted by
falls, fumbles, fights
Everything will rearrange itself,
The music we heard,
It still plays.
Just a little bit softer this time...*
**the more we move the harder it is to hear
looking into our heart see nothing
our memories is my happiness
my lover .. I hope I can still call you mine*
*But mine is nothing but a word,
I hold our memories
Clutched in my hand,
Heart in my palm.
The song stuck on repeat
In my head...
You will always be mine,
But I might not always be yours.*
**This song drives me crazy
as I try to reach you
from down on my knees
were I'm begging you o never let go
because I wont be able to let you go
not now
and not ever**
Feb 6, 2015
Feb 6, 2015 at 11:56 PM UTC