Rack my brains
Rake through and find the right memory
Tip it out, squeeze and shape it
Mold it to a more sensical form
Then, observe your consumers
Subtle changes
Until it becomes almost an original story
Forgo accuracy for entertainment
More colourful, less accurate
Oct 2, 2022
Oct 2, 2022 at 5:32 AM UTC
I am a puzzle
that I cannot piece together.
People tell me I'm a problem solver.
I'm an advice giver. I'm an answer finder,
But I can't find the answer, or even the right questions to ask,
When it comes to figuring out my own mind.
I fix things - on a daily basis - but I can't seem to fix myself.
Perhaps someday I will find a missing piece,
Maybe I was incomplete all along,
Or some pieces got twisted, forced together the wrong way round,
And I just need to untwist them,
And the puzzle will be solved.
Maybe one day I'll look exactly like the picture on the box.
Until then I will be what I have always been:
Puzzled.
Dec 19, 2019
Dec 19, 2019 at 3:09 PM UTC
Love is like the wild rose-briar;
Friendship like the holly-tree.
The holly is dark when the rose-briar blooms,
But which will bloom most constantly?
The wild rose-briar is sweet in spring,
Its summer blossoms scent the air;
Yet wait till winter comes again,
And who will call the wild-briar fair?
Then, scorn the silly rose-wreath now,
And deck thee with the holly's sheen,
That, when December blights thy brow,
He still may leave thy garland green.
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 6:15 PM UTC
Dive down deep inside your mind
if you feel like drowning
for a while.
I lived by these words, I stayed at the shallow end.
I'm realising that I'm stronger now.
For the most part I can take it in now, I can explore and stay afloat.
I recognise the parts of me that were, and the parts of me that still are.
I let the feelings wash over me.
I stay. I swim for a while.
The water's just fine.
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 4:50 PM UTC
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)
I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 4:10 PM UTC
Welcome back. Welcome home.
Your belongings, your things - they are just things, after all - have been waiting for you. Well, not waiting. They had no sense of hope that you would ever come back. They didn't miss you.
But still, when you look at them they do seem to be saying
"welcome home".
You blow the dust off and it's like you were never gone.
You move things around, disrupt the status quo, change what has remained unchanged for so long. Re-discovering.
Re-finding things you thought you'd lost,
memories catching you by surprise.
You can't believe all that you've forgotten,
all that you've lost over the years.
Just little things.
Jan 13, 2019
Jan 13, 2019 at 3:17 PM UTC
Eight years
Can feel like
A millennium
And a millisecond.
Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 9:54 AM UTC
I need to love,
Love is far too easy for me to give.
But this world's too vast for me,
This life isn't mine to live.
I can't tell you much,
But I can tell you what I know.
I need to love,
I need to love just like I need to breathe.
Rejecting faith and magic never helped me,
But I can't make myself believe.
I can't tell you much,
But I can tell you what I know,
This life's not just mine to live,
I can't live all this life alone.
I need to be loved,
It's selfish but it's what I crave.
And I need to believe in something,
But I have never been that brave.
I can't say much as I don't know much,
But I can tell you what's on my mind.
I need to love, need to be loved,
But love is not easy to find.
Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014 at 6:18 PM UTC
As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.
And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
"Love has no ending.
"I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,
"I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.
"The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world."
But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
"O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.
"In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.
"In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.
"Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.
"O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.
"The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.
"Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.
"O look, look in the mirror?
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.
"O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart."
It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.
Mar 25, 2014
Mar 25, 2014 at 5:56 PM UTC