She was born with the brightest eyes like the first dawn of spring
Her soul was a precious gift meant to be kept and held tight by only herself
The dawn eyes turned to a summers green leaves
She held tight to her soul letting in only goodness and hope
The eyes that mirrored the trees began to fall like the leaves in autumn
Although she tried to keep her soul for herself she began to give small pieces to those undeserving
Those eyes that were once filled with color were frozen like the coldest winters day
A soul that once was her most precious gift was lost and soon forgotten
Jul 8, 2021
Jul 8, 2021 at 3:29 AM UTC
I know they love my me
I just wish it was the same love that your supposed to have
I wish they tried
I wish they at least pretended to try
Jul 8, 2021
Jul 8, 2021 at 3:08 AM UTC
you can't see him but he is always here
he spoke when I was home
he yelled at me when I was driving
he sang to me when I was asleep
he made me stay in bed day in and day out so he can hold me
I told him to leave but he held me so tight that I could not breathe
May 30, 2021
May 30, 2021 at 1:53 AM UTC
Why cant I just be normal
normal brain
normal body
normal problems
normal family
normal wants
normal needs
normal life
why do I try so hard to only fall behind
May 30, 2021
May 30, 2021 at 1:17 AM UTC
No one tells you that the hard part about dying is surviving
Coming to terms with your end
but its only the beginning of a new end
I mourned for life
May 30, 2021
May 30, 2021 at 1:04 AM UTC
Calories
200
400
600
800
200
400
600
800
Repeat
2,4,6,8
Need to lose weight
2,4,6,8
Fast
Still not enough
Pill
2,2,2,2
0
Dead
Apr 4, 2019
Apr 4, 2019 at 1:57 AM UTC
Water.
Low-calorie, no-calorie, sugar-free and…water.
I was never like the other girls. The beautiful, tall, and skinny girls I was not perfect
Instead I had the words ugly, worthless, fat, and unloved branded on my face
The words empty, broken, dumb, and unwanted covering my entire body
Skinny was never a word that described me
Until I stopped eating
Calories
200
400
600
800
I lost 5 pounds, then 10, then 20. Striving to be double digits and not triple.
Eating in front of a mirror.
Crying over a bathroom scale,
Cause i only felt pretty when i was hungry.
200
400
600
800
repeat
2, 4, 6, 8
To me, being perfect was more important of being healthy
It was a never ending cycle of "Will I eat today?"
I was trapped in the walls of my mind with the door wide open
Why didn't I just walk through the door?
In my mind
I couldn't fit
calories
2, 4, 6, 8
need to lose weight
2, 4, 6, 8
I lost all of my friends because instead of going out and enjoying life
I stayed home, adding all of the calories I had eaten that day
Instead I stayed home in fear of gaining weight from that one slice of pizza
keep going through the days
2, 4, 6, 8
My scale became my best friend
Watching that number go down was my fun on a Friday night
Drinking water on an empty stomach was my feeling of enjoyment
But no matter how low that number got it was never enough
It was never enough until I had finally collapsed
2, 2, 2, 2
fast
Female, 14 years of age, height 5"3, weight 65 pounds
I had done it
I was so skinny I was dying
I was dying because society told me that I wasn't good enough
I was dying because society told me that I wasn't pretty nor skinny enough
I was dying because I was afraid that one day people would see me
The way I saw myself
I fight all day and all night
this is your own fault
My body shows my battlewounds
Scars and bones and scratches
you did this to yourself
I need to eat
but you can't
It's just food
but it's not
My minds thin
but you're fat
This is breaking me
I'll fix it for you
I'm going too far
you're not far enough
I need to turn back
that's not an option
Release me
not happening
I've gone too far
push it a little further
My weight became the only thing I cared about
I was failing all of my classes becase the only numbers I cared about
Were the ones that would appear on my scale telling me how much more I needed to lose until,
I had nothing to lose
I didn't see a future
I had already lost my friends
My GPA
My family
And myself
All for what?
I lost everything to be like the other perfect girls The beautiful, tall, and skinny girls
0
Pill
Dead
Jan 9, 2019
Jan 9, 2019 at 4:45 PM UTC