Here I am, again
I know this place well
Because I never get to leave for long
I'm here alone just like every time before
We caught each other in a weak spot
I thought you'd fallen in my lap
Like a gift
Like a blessing
But I forgot about the curse
Meant to walk alone
Dream alone
Be alone
All on my own
Here I am again
But I'm not empty
I'm full of regret, the regret you get when you throw your heart around
I help break my own heart
they never do it alone
The help never ceases to amaze
If you need me, you'll know where to look
The lost
The broken
The unavailable
They find me
May 18, 2016
May 18, 2016 at 8:43 PM UTC
I won’t keep lying to myself just to lie to everyone else
I always had doubts but my actions are all I had to lay out to see the truth
It was all right there just like times before I’m never the last to know I just don’t know myself that well
I’ve never been in front of the mirror when you come over to greet me so I never saw how bright my smile got
I didn’t know that when I got you naked it was only to get you as close to me as possible
I didn’t know when I txt you with nothing to say it was just to put me in your mind that day
turns out I don’t know ****
All I got from this was a memorization of the shape of your jaw
traced it with my finger just yesterday
the corners of your mouth
there’s no straight lines in this crocked romance
I trace the lines of you in my head
I pretend my hands are yours
You’re everywhere and no where
California is our home but you've been south for the winter since I realized the truth about the hold you’ve got on my heart that started with a hand full of blouse
Take me some where else so we can be alone
Take me before I lie to myself again
State lines don’t split us apart but your decisions do
California is our home..
Feb 4, 2014
Feb 4, 2014 at 8:32 PM UTC
Certain I’ve never thought this thought before
almost shocked myself till I realized it ‘s a good thing
I hope I’ve missed my chance with you because I’m tired of being in this alone
You never say the right thing
You never think of me unless you’re lonely
I hope I missed my chance so I can’t come back and share more of myself
I always try to fill your ears with all the words you want to hear
And all you do is fill your hands with me
It’s never been enough
so why do I hold on to you?
I hope I missed my chance
Get lonely somewhere else because I’m trying to forget you
my favorite rain cloud never even around long enough to get me wet
It’s never been enough
So why do I hold on to you?
Fill my heart not just your hands
Feb 4, 2014
Feb 4, 2014 at 8:29 PM UTC
I remember back then when you’d pull me close hip to hip
Your body was mine but your heart was somewhere else
When I thought Love was pouring all over me
But when I’d wake up you’d be ready to go
I’d slid over to take the warm spot you left behind
You’ve had too much practice with us girls
I try and tell my friends it could have been any of you
But am I the only one who fell for it?
I hear you’re all the same but I’ve never met a boy like you
Feeling sorry for my foolishness when I miss you
The worst part is I still wonder how I could have kept you
You’ve had too much practice with us girls
I try not to bring you up so no one knows you’ve still got me
But some things you just can not hide
Will you ever play for keeps?
I take all the time you have to give
I never know when it could be the last time
Jan 26, 2013
Jan 26, 2013 at 9:41 PM UTC
You told me that some people want to be used
that must be something a guilty conscience tells itself
I wish I could have said something to you just then but I lost my courage and sank back in to my mind to find something you’d like to hear
I think we both know that I have a soft spot for you
We also know that you’ll never give me anything but your spare time
With both these pieces of knowledge between us why do I still bother?
Even when my friends all deemed you strange and awkward
I never let there words change the ones I’d say to you
I’m writing about you now but I hope it won’t be for always
You ask me what’s on my mind when we hit a patch of silence
well if you read this I could answer that question for you...
but I wouldn’t imagine telling you the truth
maybe you were talking about me
Because time after time here I am
Jan 26, 2013
Jan 26, 2013 at 8:58 PM UTC
If you and I have no business here then..
Tell me something so **** that it’s just across the way from sweet
You’re a self proclaimed *******
But your eyes always apologize for what your mouth has to spout
Maybe it’s the way you look for me
Maybe it’s the way you open up when I’m the only one listening
If you and I have no where to go but down then..
Tell me something so honest that it’s just down the street from endearing
You’re a self proclaimed *******
But when I ask you where you’ve been you reply waiting for you
Maybe it’s the way you make me feel good enough to cheer you up
Maybe it’s the way you correct me with a smile almost every time
If you and I have no future then I’ll give you every part of the present
Jan 26, 2013
Jan 26, 2013 at 8:39 PM UTC
I can’t wait to meet my next heartbreak
He’ll have everything I never knew I wanted
I can’t wait to see the face that will turn me back into a fool
I can’t wait to see how many smiles I’ll waste on him
I can’t wait to see what outfits I’ll buy just for him
He’ll have everything I never knew I wanted
I can’t wait to hug him like I’ll never let him go
I can’t wait to hang on his every word like they were a life raft
I can’t wait to see the eyes that take me over
He’ll have everything I never knew I wanted
I can’t wait to meet my next heartbreak
Mar 23, 2012
Mar 23, 2012 at 4:15 PM UTC
A mouth full of gasoline + a match stick for a heart, she whispers to him nice and low set me on fire
She’s willing to stare disaster in it’s Eager eyes.
She wouldn’t dream of running before her Time with him is Up.
With his Arms like Alcohol, she can’t help but feel Altered when they are around her.
With his Body like running Water, she’s as good as Drown.
With his Smile like Oxygen, she’s not Gasping for Air just yet.
With his face like a love song, too bad she’s never been know to carry a tune.
With a matchstick between her lips + her heart of gasoline she waits for her moment
to set him on fire.
Mar 23, 2012
Mar 23, 2012 at 4:14 PM UTC
I hear the words leave the mouth I thought I knew so well
The confession you place on me has an instant effect
My vision starts to close in around the sides to a pin point size view it makes everything around us look like blurs of light
Your voice begins to sound almost miles away, and I could care less to hear the rest
It Feels as if my rib cage just cracked into two perfect almost identical pieces
My lungs lose the room they use to have and leave me only shallow breathes to take
Shock and Pain come that I hope is powerful enough to teach me a lesson
I shift my eyes down to see the damage
To my surprise my chest looks to be in one piece, my hand raises slowly to touch where the split should be
It shakes all the way to where my heart use to beat on the left side below my collar bone
I can’t feel any movement and for a moment I feel relief to the thought of being alive with out a heart nothing to get in the way any more
Your timing seemed so perfect the devil must’ve nudged you when to divulge this secret
It seems it didn’t hurt you to carry it
It won’t do me the same kindness
Mar 23, 2012
Mar 23, 2012 at 4:12 PM UTC
I thougth you’d give me the chance to write of Love
The kind to brake the habbits that kept the others at bay
I beileve you are someone who could make my rosy thoughts a reality
But you won’t be doing this for me
Was I just something to be soaked up
To bring you up and make you laugh
You can’t understand the way your eyes led me on
I swear I saw it in the way you looked at me
It was like the foot between us was too much to bear
I swore I could feel you holding back
You told me once that we all need affection
But what else do you need?
I thougth you’d give me the chance to write of Love
The kind that would make others jealous
The kind that would make me blush from the inside out
Dec 26, 2011
Dec 26, 2011 at 6:40 PM UTC