kalee-smith - Hello Poetry

Ronnie is that you? Can you hear me Ronnie? I know somehow you can I feel you next to me I feel your arms around me I know you hear me. They all think I'm crazy Ronnie They hear me talk to you I hear them talk about me No one knows what to say I cry and scream Sometimes I go into the closet and put on your clothes I still have your razor Your shoes are still on the rack Dinner is still in the frig The dishes never got washed I have not combed my hair in a couple of days I think I showered, I don't know I don't leave the house Sometimes I get up and think I can do it But I can't, I just can't When does the pain go away Ronnie? When do I stop crying for you Ronnie? Our friends stopped coming over The neighbors don't make eye contact Those calls to check on me stopped I got another box today Your unit packed it up It was stamped with big Red letters "Deceased" They all said that Ronnie It was like the news was not bad enough Now, I had to have a final reminder that you are gone I finally opened the box Ronnie I found a list It was a list of things you were going to get me for my Birthday And the last thing was Don't forget to tell her that I Love her everyday. You never had to tell me Ronnie, I always knew.

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Jan 28, 2013

Jan 28, 2013 at 11:06 PM UTC

kalee-smith

I Always Knew

Ronnie is that you? Can you hear me Ronnie? I know somehow you can I feel you next to me I feel your arms around me I know you hear me. They all think I'm crazy Ronnie They hear me talk to you I hear them talk about me No one knows what to say I cry and scream Sometimes I go into the closet and put on your clothes I still have your razor Your shoes are still on the rack Dinner is still in the frig The dishes never got washed I have not combed my hair in a couple of days I think I showered, I don't know I don't leave the house Sometimes I get up and think I can do it But I can't, I just can't When does the pain go away Ronnie? When do I stop crying for you Ronnie? Our friends stopped coming over The neighbors don't make eye contact Those calls to check on me stopped I got another box today Your unit packed it up It was stamped with big Red letters "Deceased" They all said that Ronnie It was like the news was not bad enough Now, I had to have a final reminder that you are gone I finally opened the box Ronnie I found a list It was a list of things you were going to get me for my Birthday And the last thing was Don't forget to tell her that I Love her everyday. You never had to tell me Ronnie, I always knew.

38

Dear guardian angel I need you here today The road has been ruff And I have nothing good to say Dead guardian Angel Where have you been My world is crashing down I need to pray for my sins Dear Guardian Angel The night is coming soon I can't bear the thought of being in this room Dear guardian angel Is that the voice I hear Or is it just my own thoughts consuming me with fear Dear guardian angel Im looking up in the sky Wondering if my life is all built from a lie Dear guardian angel I see the daylight now I feel you are near I know it somehow Dear guardian angel Thank you for saving me I'm not suppose to see you That's not how's it suppose to be Dear guardian angel It's warm it's sunny and bright All because you helped me to make it through the night.

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Jan 27, 2013

Jan 27, 2013 at 11:45 PM UTC

kalee-smith

Dear Guardian Angel

Dear guardian angel I need you here today The road has been ruff And I have nothing good to say Dead guardian Angel Where have you been My world is crashing down I need to pray for my sins Dear Guardian Angel The night is coming soon I can't bear the thought of being in this room Dear guardian angel Is that the voice I hear Or is it just my own thoughts consuming me with fear Dear guardian angel Im looking up in the sky Wondering if my life is all built from a lie Dear guardian angel I see the daylight now I feel you are near I know it somehow Dear guardian angel Thank you for saving me I'm not suppose to see you That's not how's it suppose to be Dear guardian angel It's warm it's sunny and bright All because you helped me to make it through the night.

27

My dark passenger never leaves you know. It's always riding with me, wanting to grab the wheel. My dark passenger lies and tells me that I don't matter. That wherever I go it will always be there to riding along beside me ready to take the wheel. I always have one hand on the wheel trying to keep it back. Once in a while my arm gets tired and I let go, and put both hands on the wheel. And keep driving. I hit so many bumps in the roads, I sway to the left, and sway to the right. When I look over at the dark passenger it is still there not moving not swaying just watching and waiting for me to to take a wrong turn. Once in a while I stop take my hands off of the wheel and tell it to drive. I don't know what direction it goes and where we will end up. When I see the light my dark passenger seems to sleep. Not read or look for direction. Just let me make my way through the light and feel the sun on my face and see the birds in the sky. I make it to the Joshua tree. Where I can feel the wind gently blowing and all of my thoughts have stopped and my nightmares are over. My search for the peace is no more. I don't have to wonder why I'm unlovable. Why that little girl cried at night. Why the Woman could never find the love that she so desired. What was it about me that the dark passenger found so intriguing that it stayed with me. That it was always right there, right beside me. I'm still at the Joshua tree. The dark passenger is There. It's not in the car anymore. It asks me why it's not in the car riding beside me. I say because the only way to stop the dark passenger is to take out the driver.

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Jan 24, 2013

Jan 24, 2013 at 8:09 AM UTC

kalee-smith

The Driver

My dark passenger never leaves you know. It's always riding with me, wanting to grab the wheel. My dark passenger lies and tells me that I don't matter. That wherever I go it will always be there to riding along beside me ready to take the wheel. I always have one hand on the wheel trying to keep it back. Once in a while my arm gets tired and I let go, and put both hands on the wheel. And keep driving. I hit so many bumps in the roads, I sway to the left, and sway to the right. When I look over at the dark passenger it is still there not moving not swaying just watching and waiting for me to to take a wrong turn. Once in a while I stop take my hands off of the wheel and tell it to drive. I don't know what direction it goes and where we will end up. When I see the light my dark passenger seems to sleep. Not read or look for direction. Just let me make my way through the light and feel the sun on my face and see the birds in the sky. I make it to the Joshua tree. Where I can feel the wind gently blowing and all of my thoughts have stopped and my nightmares are over. My search for the peace is no more. I don't have to wonder why I'm unlovable. Why that little girl cried at night. Why the Woman could never find the love that she so desired. What was it about me that the dark passenger found so intriguing that it stayed with me. That it was always right there, right beside me. I'm still at the Joshua tree. The dark passenger is There. It's not in the car anymore. It asks me why it's not in the car riding beside me. I say because the only way to stop the dark passenger is to take out the driver.

1