I am a pessimist and I’m not proud of that
Whether said to me verbally but mostly my own thoughts.
“You are fat, you are stupid, you are worthless.”
My thoughts whisper in my head,
“All you do is bring problems, your whole existence is a flaw.”
These words are on repeat every minute of every day.
“You are lazy, irresponsible and a hypocrite.”
Voices getting louder in my head,
Engraving words that hurt worse than physical wounds
I would rather cut myself a thousand times
Than hear these words like bullets shot through my heart
“You don’t deserve love, you are nothing but trouble.”
I crumble inside each word like a knife
“You are a quitter not even worth a dime.”
The voices grow louder and louder,
I wrack my brain to make it stop,
Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, Shut up, SHUT. UP!
Insecurities drown me, I can’t breathe
Walls block me from asking help,
Walls I built myself thinking it would protect me,
“You are ugly, you are worthless, you are NOTHING.”
Voices on repeat…
Nov 11, 2015
Nov 11, 2015 at 8:30 PM UTC
With just his fingers and strings
He'd strum songs so sweet
That every girl who heard
Would sway to each note.
His heart, his lyrics,
Every bit of his soul
Poured out in a song
For a girl he loves so.
Every girl except she
Would crowd around him
So he sung with all might
Wishing it would reach her.
He kept on singing,
And he kept on strumming
Till his fingers bled
And his voice turned hoarse
Hoping the girl would turn
To realize she's not alone.
Jun 11, 2015
Jun 11, 2015 at 10:39 AM UTC
If I punched the walls real hard
Would it break my hand?
Would the pain be enough?
To suffice the pain inside
To transfer all the negatives
In a fist that’s clenched up tight
Every muscle in my arm
Turn rigid as I throw the punch
The need to hear my bones break
As it meets the stone cold wall
Letting my blood flow freely
As it pools around me
Like a fool, I shed no tears
For still it wasn't enough
So I punched and punched
Until all I see was red
My eyes turn blurry
As my tears start to fall
My arm begins to weaken
And I see my damaged hands
Still clenched up so tight
I broke these special hands of mine
But still it wasn't enough
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 2:28 AM UTC
Shoot me, stab me,
I beg you, renew me
Save me from drowning
In this sea of insanity.
No light, no life, no faith
In this barren world,
A soul full of darkness
Ran out of chances to live more.
Can't live, can't breathe
Just take mercy on me
Raise your gun point-blank,
Press the trigger, renew me
Mar 28, 2015
Mar 28, 2015 at 8:23 PM UTC
I looked around
From left to right
Searching for you
In the sea of nameless people
because now I know
With our time apart
That I am ready
Ready to take a chance on you
I know that you've waited
For me to catch up
But now I'm here standing
waiting for you to turn around
I tap your shoulder
And then you look at me
And you realize our moment is here
You hold my hands
Pull me into your arms
Hugging me tight you whispered,
"I told you I'd wait for you"
Oct 20, 2014
Oct 20, 2014 at 11:04 AM UTC
Don’t give me flowers,
Don’t give me chocolates,
Don’t treat me to fancy dinners,
Don’t bring me to fancy places,
Don’t say you’ll give me the moon and the stars.
Just give me books, that I would love,
Just give me candy the most sour you can find,
Just treat me to pizzas, to burgers or fries,
Just bring me to the cinema, to nature, to your life,
Just tell me your word straight from your heart
Because the simplest of things is where we came to start
Sep 20, 2014
Sep 20, 2014 at 11:19 AM UTC
If I leave now, would you even notice?
Would you look back just to check if I’m there?
Or would you follow me and grab my hand
And say you were sorry for the things you said
When my heart broke, did you even see?
Or did you look through me just wanting to be free
Like a shout into the void, you said you didn’t love me anymore
Instead I held hope we’d have a chance for an encore
When you looked into my eyes, did you notice I was gone?
Would you hug me like you did when I felt alone?
Whispering words that would soothe my mind and soul
Or would you continue walking as you left me alone to fall
When you left, did you ever miss me?
And remember the memories of how we used to be
Or did you force to forget the plans and the promise
The day you said good bye as you left with our last kiss
Sep 18, 2014
Sep 18, 2014 at 4:44 AM UTC
Pour me a cup of coffee
An sit here next to me,
We can talk for hours straight
With comfortable silence between mid sips,
Though the rain won’t stop
And the coffee’s gone cold,
Your arms around mine
Makes me feel safe and at home,
Stuck in this moment
As we stay like this for hours,
Because being here with you
Is enough to keep me warm.
Sep 17, 2014
Sep 17, 2014 at 12:43 PM UTC