Bloodshot eyes of a doe, rinsing my face with ***** water
and trying to remember when I told you to walk away. Stiletto nails digging
into my sockets pulling out black strings, waterboarding myself and gasping
like a fish thrashing in your hands, your smile so bright. Open the door,
let me in and help me to my knees so that I can crawl towards you
and wrap my slender arms around your legs, beg for a reprise. Give me this
last chance to remind you that I’d do anything, 45 minutes across town to look at you,
unwashed hair in a hospital bed, pupils dilated out of love and admiration (mania and pills).
My prescription princess, never not on a ****** just another born-to-be-addict,
itching to **** yourself after the weekend, finding someone to use once your pill bottles
all come up empty, and your fingernails are clean of blood.
Oct 27, 2025
Oct 27, 2025 at 8:57 PM UTC
Prodding veins like an invitation. Slender fingers dig into my heart
with the fervor of a storm. Her whispers feel like serenity and sleep.
My dreams are drowned in her voice and the shadows of her face,
eyes blinking at me like morse code. Singing to me softly, I love you and
I love you, I love you, I love you. With every bone that throbs and every
heartbeat that aches. With every burning muscle and every rush of blood,
I remember everything; beaches and blinding sun, your tan skinned hands
on my pleading waist in an ocean of ragged breath and grinding hips. That
is heaven, and nothing could ever come close to the warmth
of your legs wrapped around mine and your nails in my skin. Like a bruise
on your soft neck I may never stop lingering. Summer in August
and your hand on my thigh. I should have died there.
Oct 27, 2025
Oct 27, 2025 at 8:56 PM UTC
The body is a cannibal.
The devouring of poignant flesh,
Jaded teeth tearing through vessels, bones cracking with poise.
Shooting pain like a thousand arrows
through the heart, ripping through the soul. Crimson drips
from the maw of the beast living inside,
clawing at its chains and squirming through a rotted ribcage.
There is no greater beauty than watching these aching bones
twist and contort under the pressure of the devouring. Though it hurts,
the carcass will remain, and be lowered
into shattered earth, where it will be reclaimed
and made anew.
Oct 18, 2025
Oct 18, 2025 at 10:06 PM UTC
I might never forget this, I can only wish to. know
that I will always regret it; not keeping my maw shut and waiting it out,
but I have never been that easy. I’m sorry. I packed up
my bones and dropped them in a field of flowers. I stuck around
to watch how our love first bloomed, like I did with the ones I brought you
that will now just wither with everything else. Maybe in another life
they never wilt, and I get to water them every morning, watch our memories
play out in my head like a reel and sob until I’m sick. To be domestic
and hold you in all that you are was all I ever wanted, and it pains me to know
it will never happen. It pains me to accept you may not come back
and it truly does end here.
Oct 18, 2025
Oct 18, 2025 at 10:04 PM UTC
I am a blade, raw and ****** I am the strike of a match,
The lighting of a cigarette. Where ashes fall, I am born again.
Burning lace and handcuffs. A bar, a drink, a **** In one hundred years
The liquor in my body will coat my pearly bones. My blood will have boiled,
And maggots will have heard me call your name, over, and over, and over again.
Inside my head there is a rifle. Time and time again, I will **** it,
And shots will ring out through the chapel I called home. I will watch moths
Fly into fire. I will watch doves slam their delicate bodies into foggy windows.
I am burning with the same intensity I was born with. I have died a thousand times
For sins living in my own home. A wolf calls at night, and there are its pawprints
In the snow, coated in blood. And its pup has been dragged away
In the name of the Lord. I’ve walked through woods where I should have been killed,
And I have seen your heart there. I palmed it, watched it rise and fall, and heard it scream,
“Release me. Release me!”
Oct 1, 2025
Oct 1, 2025 at 1:24 PM UTC
I feel like I watched everyone I love slip away and pull back
And I beg you don’t do it, too, but if you do, at least
Say sorry and pull the knife out of my back.
Sometimes, when I fall asleep, though it takes so long,
I wake up, in the middle of the night,
I writhe in pain, and see you there.
I even had a dream, and it felt so real,
(it wasn’t)
Where you were waking up, getting ready, brushing your hair
And I stayed in bed, why, I don’t know
But maybe so I could watch you tip toe across
The floorboards, bend down to grab your things,
Because your movement fuels my beating heart.
And it’s odd, really, I woke up
(alone), and honestly,
The pain was unbearable. And honestly,
I would **** to have you here with me.
Sep 24, 2025
Sep 24, 2025 at 4:47 PM UTC
Like throwing bedsheets
In the wash with a blade, and the
Fabric gets caught and torn, tattered and
Ripped, and when I pull them out, they’re
A knot you can’t undo, can’t
Untie, like our feet dancing
Through the seams at night when the moon
Spilled through the blinds and we
Woke up to birds and sunlight, but now
There’s blood on the satin, the
White fabric, and I can’t get it out, I can’t
Seem to scrub them clean, so it stays, and
I let it, like an omen, like ripping open
A pomegranate and letting juice spill but
Maybe dirt under my fingernails from
Pulling at my heart is just what
Jesus died for
Sep 24, 2025
Sep 24, 2025 at 4:43 PM UTC
Under a streetlight, like a moth dancing
through a foggy night, or a deer
cascading through a dark forest, I want
wildflowers to bloom all over me, I want
to be reborn. And I want to move
like I used to, then maybe you could
hold me, like you did
when I was young, before you were angry,
before I was set for the gallows. I miss
how we used to dance, I miss when I’d say,
“watch this”, and I’d do something stupid
that I could only dream of doing now. And still,
I wish I could be like I was, and I wonder
if you do too. We’re so alike, a moon
and sun, two twisted spines, two
spiders in a web that we struggle to crawl through.
And maybe that’s why I love you, not as a father, as
a human being. As the buck you shot, as the
Jersey boy your mom reminisces of. And maybe you love me not
as a daughter, but as the baby you held,
the fawn in the road you hit. But why do I burn still
with the wish that you would love me as I am
now, not as I was, not as a girl, but
as an adult with dreams, with aspirations, even though
you ripped them out of my hands, and stomped them out
as you did the cigarettes you used to smoke
with my mother.
Sep 24, 2025
Sep 24, 2025 at 4:42 PM UTC
Tonight,
I want to spill my skin,
I want to shed it all to you.
I want to watch light dance off your skin,
And reflect in my eyes.
I want to watch meteor showers
Shoot through your body,
And planets spin in our wake.
Tonight, I want to sleep in your bed
And let your scent tear through my heart.
Let love be something
Tonight,
And keep me there.
Sep 22, 2025
Sep 22, 2025 at 12:56 PM UTC
I want to be the snake –
Writhing, burrowing
Choking up a pill, throwing up smoke;
It’s nightly,
Don’t fight me, tie me
To a bedpost and let me dry out,
And make me pray again,
If it makes me whole again.
So aim,
Aim for a leg and don’t miss.
And a ledge is just a ledge
Until you’ve spilled your heart out on it,
And dragged your knuckles across
‘til they’re raw.
I yearn to be antlers embedded in the dirt
Shoot me.
Sep 17, 2025
Sep 17, 2025 at 9:31 PM UTC