kaebees - Hello Poetry

So yeah, Maybe she does like calling guys daddy But not for the reason you may think Maybe it’s because she’s looking for fatherly love Because she could never quite find it in the places she was supposed to So instead she was left to wander Through the constant murmurs of “You must have daddy issues” “Your dad left? You must have a daddy fetish” “I’ll be your daddy” Because people would rather fetishize an emotional trauma than Acknowledge the pain Maybe all she knows is unkempt promises Because the only time her “daddy” came close to actually being one Was whenever he kissed her on the forehead goodbye Promising to play with her later Look at her drawing later Read her a bedtime story another night And walked out the door Maybe all she knows is love through screaming I love you I hate you I love you I hate you Maybe all she knows is purple, blue, green, red and yellow are the colors of tender love and care Why else would they show up on whoever her “daddy” touched Psychologists say that it’s not uncommon to marry someone that is similar to one of your parents But what happens when all she’s known from her “daddy” is neglect Because her dad would rather choose being with a new family than the one that taught him how NOT to be a dad Because her “daddy” would rather say “talk to your mom about this” Than listen to his own flesh and blood’s worries himself Because her “daddy” would rather come in and out of her life when it’s convenient for him So now She’s left To sit alone at the end of the day to think that Maybe if she had just been a “good girl” And behaved, If she had just listened to her “daddy” Maybe she wouldn’t have to look for one In other men

0

May 4, 2016

May 4, 2016 at 11:15 PM UTC

Daddy Issues

So yeah, Maybe she does like calling guys daddy But not for the reason you may think Maybe it’s because she’s looking for fatherly love Because she could never quite find it in the places she was supposed to So instead she was left to wander Through the constant murmurs of “You must have daddy issues” “Your dad left? You must have a daddy fetish” “I’ll be your daddy” Because people would rather fetishize an emotional trauma than Acknowledge the pain Maybe all she knows is unkempt promises Because the only time her “daddy” came close to actually being one Was whenever he kissed her on the forehead goodbye Promising to play with her later Look at her drawing later Read her a bedtime story another night And walked out the door Maybe all she knows is love through screaming I love you I hate you I love you I hate you Maybe all she knows is purple, blue, green, red and yellow are the colors of tender love and care Why else would they show up on whoever her “daddy” touched Psychologists say that it’s not uncommon to marry someone that is similar to one of your parents But what happens when all she’s known from her “daddy” is neglect Because her dad would rather choose being with a new family than the one that taught him how NOT to be a dad Because her “daddy” would rather say “talk to your mom about this” Than listen to his own flesh and blood’s worries himself Because her “daddy” would rather come in and out of her life when it’s convenient for him So now She’s left To sit alone at the end of the day to think that Maybe if she had just been a “good girl” And behaved, If she had just listened to her “daddy” Maybe she wouldn’t have to look for one In other men

40

“Five minutes,” I say As I lay on the ground My hair sprawled around me. I disappear You find me We speed walk to your room As you hold my hand Our kisses are fervent. We don’t leave your room till tomorrow afternoon.

0

Dec 6, 2015

Dec 6, 2015 at 11:45 PM UTC

Day 15

“Five minutes,” I say As I lay on the ground My hair sprawled around me. I disappear You find me We speed walk to your room As you hold my hand Our kisses are fervent. We don’t leave your room till tomorrow afternoon.

9

You are nothing to me at first But you treat me nicely. I give you something I can never take back But it’s okay Because it’s nice And you are gentle. Even when you are rough Somehow your touches are still caresses.

0

Dec 6, 2015

Dec 6, 2015 at 11:44 PM UTC

Day 14

You are nothing to me at first But you treat me nicely. I give you something I can never take back But it’s okay Because it’s nice And you are gentle. Even when you are rough Somehow your touches are still caresses.

9

God, do you look like a player Maybe it’s a warning, but either way You aren’t my type at all And I make it known But somehow you reel me in. We get along quick I’m weird, but you are most definitely weirder And I love that part of you, (At least I will I just don’t know it yet).

0

Nov 30, 2015

Nov 30, 2015 at 9:20 AM UTC

Day 5

God, do you look like a player Maybe it’s a warning, but either way You aren’t my type at all And I make it known But somehow you reel me in. We get along quick I’m weird, but you are most definitely weirder And I love that part of you, (At least I will I just don’t know it yet).

10

I am fragile and weak. You don’t leave me breathless. It is not love at first sight. But I do notice your dimples, One on either side of your face Dimples I’d come to know Dimples that would be my biggest mistake.

0

Nov 8, 2015

Nov 8, 2015 at 9:18 PM UTC

Day 1

I am fragile and weak. You don’t leave me breathless. It is not love at first sight. But I do notice your dimples, One on either side of your face Dimples I’d come to know Dimples that would be my biggest mistake.

7

How? How is it you? How is it that despite the numerous amounts of times I think I can be happy with someone, Share myself with someone, You ***** me up. Just the mere thought of you screws me up. You messed me up, But not in the morbid, "I can never fall in love again" Or "I can never trust again" Because, yes, While I may think those things occasionally, It wasn't because of you. You know why you ****** me up? Because no matter how many butterflies I get from him, They don't even compare to the ones I got from you And although I do love him, I'm not in love with him. You ******* me up because I will never Ever Love someone that way I loved you. I truly, undeniably, unhealthily loved you. I would go find bury treasure for you if you asked me to, But I wouldn't do it for him. I never got tired of you, But...he gets on my nerves sometimes. Despite the amount of protests that you weren't my type You seemed to fit me perfectly, But, he's...nice. I was ******* up before I met you, But **** you really messed me up after. I loved you. How is it that I still love you? How do I move forward when all you do is text me and the emotions come fleeting back? How? How do I stop loving you?

0

Jul 4, 2015

Jul 4, 2015 at 12:12 AM UTC

How?

How? How is it you? How is it that despite the numerous amounts of times I think I can be happy with someone, Share myself with someone, You ***** me up. Just the mere thought of you screws me up. You messed me up, But not in the morbid, "I can never fall in love again" Or "I can never trust again" Because, yes, While I may think those things occasionally, It wasn't because of you. You know why you ****** me up? Because no matter how many butterflies I get from him, They don't even compare to the ones I got from you And although I do love him, I'm not in love with him. You ******* me up because I will never Ever Love someone that way I loved you. I truly, undeniably, unhealthily loved you. I would go find bury treasure for you if you asked me to, But I wouldn't do it for him. I never got tired of you, But...he gets on my nerves sometimes. Despite the amount of protests that you weren't my type You seemed to fit me perfectly, But, he's...nice. I was ******* up before I met you, But **** you really messed me up after. I loved you. How is it that I still love you? How do I move forward when all you do is text me and the emotions come fleeting back? How? How do I stop loving you?

37

Leaving had always been an easy concept for me to grasp Especially when my dad left And I was left with nothing but sad, withered letters And the instillment of trust issues was ****** upon me. It was even easier when I found out my grandpa left my grandma The one healthy relationship I had held onto falling apart before my eyes And yes, although they are still together Every time I ask about my grandpa to my grandma I can see in her eyes that she wished things went differently, That maybe if he had asked to marry her Then maybe she wouldn't be second guessing if he loved her everyday. Maybe I truly understood the art of leaving when My stepfather kept leaving at regular hours during the day And coming home and odd hours of the night And my mom was left to cry in our bathroom While I called my brother on the phone begging him to make me understand what was happening, Until all my brother could say was, "Kris..." And I knew, just knew, this was him breaking my mother's heart For the second time in her life. With you, I began to understand that leaving happens in two parts Emotionally and physically. I felt you leave emotionally So I was the one that left physically. And now that I know you'll never be in my life again And I left my heart with you The art of leaving has become a foreign concept to me. How does someone just leave? How do I leave when so much of me is left in you?

0

Apr 19, 2015

Apr 19, 2015 at 6:05 PM UTC

The Art of Leaving

Leaving had always been an easy concept for me to grasp Especially when my dad left And I was left with nothing but sad, withered letters And the instillment of trust issues was ****** upon me. It was even easier when I found out my grandpa left my grandma The one healthy relationship I had held onto falling apart before my eyes And yes, although they are still together Every time I ask about my grandpa to my grandma I can see in her eyes that she wished things went differently, That maybe if he had asked to marry her Then maybe she wouldn't be second guessing if he loved her everyday. Maybe I truly understood the art of leaving when My stepfather kept leaving at regular hours during the day And coming home and odd hours of the night And my mom was left to cry in our bathroom While I called my brother on the phone begging him to make me understand what was happening, Until all my brother could say was, "Kris..." And I knew, just knew, this was him breaking my mother's heart For the second time in her life. With you, I began to understand that leaving happens in two parts Emotionally and physically. I felt you leave emotionally So I was the one that left physically. And now that I know you'll never be in my life again And I left my heart with you The art of leaving has become a foreign concept to me. How does someone just leave? How do I leave when so much of me is left in you?

28

I wish I could say that I’m the type of girl that would reject you if you came back to me, Apologizing, Asking me to take you back. But I know for a fact That I would take you back gladly. I would let everything go back to the way it was before you broke my heart And forget that you ever even shattered my being into pieces. I would kiss you with fervent want. I would graze my nails across your back After we’ve made love And all that’s covering me are blankets As you look back at me, Your eyes wandering all over me As if I don’t truly exist. I would go back to letting you use my laptop for your homework. I would go back to loving you, sweetheart. But, I can say though, That yes, I would be the type of girl to take you back, But if you expect me to take you back in a heartbeat, Well, sweetheart, I’m sorry then.

0

Apr 12, 2015

Apr 12, 2015 at 11:56 PM UTC

Second Chance Girl

I wish I could say that I’m the type of girl that would reject you if you came back to me, Apologizing, Asking me to take you back. But I know for a fact That I would take you back gladly. I would let everything go back to the way it was before you broke my heart And forget that you ever even shattered my being into pieces. I would kiss you with fervent want. I would graze my nails across your back After we’ve made love And all that’s covering me are blankets As you look back at me, Your eyes wandering all over me As if I don’t truly exist. I would go back to letting you use my laptop for your homework. I would go back to loving you, sweetheart. But, I can say though, That yes, I would be the type of girl to take you back, But if you expect me to take you back in a heartbeat, Well, sweetheart, I’m sorry then.

21

My ways of affection have never been conventional. Even when I was little, I used to bite my brother to show him that I loved him. I will never be that type of girl, the one that says, ‘You’re hair looks good today’ But rather I will be the girl that lightly touches your hair and smiles. I will rarely say, ‘You look good today’ But I will tug the collar of your shirt because it looks good on you. Us holding hands will be rare, But I will lightly graze my nails on your palms like spreading fire. We will never kiss in public, I’ll nuzzle my head into your chest though, I may even nuzzle my nose against your hair and hug you. I won’t be the one to say ‘I love you’ first, And even if you say it first, It’ll take me a very, very long time to say it back Days, Weeks, Or Months even. And when I do say ‘I love you’ for the first time, It won’t be what you expect It’ll be a ‘You’re such a ****** Or a ‘I really like being around you’. I hope you take the time to learn these things, I hope you give me a chance despite them.”

0

Apr 12, 2015

Apr 12, 2015 at 11:55 PM UTC

Unconventional Love

My ways of affection have never been conventional. Even when I was little, I used to bite my brother to show him that I loved him. I will never be that type of girl, the one that says, ‘You’re hair looks good today’ But rather I will be the girl that lightly touches your hair and smiles. I will rarely say, ‘You look good today’ But I will tug the collar of your shirt because it looks good on you. Us holding hands will be rare, But I will lightly graze my nails on your palms like spreading fire. We will never kiss in public, I’ll nuzzle my head into your chest though, I may even nuzzle my nose against your hair and hug you. I won’t be the one to say ‘I love you’ first, And even if you say it first, It’ll take me a very, very long time to say it back Days, Weeks, Or Months even. And when I do say ‘I love you’ for the first time, It won’t be what you expect It’ll be a ‘You’re such a ****** Or a ‘I really like being around you’. I hope you take the time to learn these things, I hope you give me a chance despite them.”

28

I realised how dangerous love could be when everyone refused to say that I loved you But there was a time where even I refused to say that I loved you because I knew what it meant but, oh god, how obvious it was anyone could see it on my face I really did love you. There was only one time one person said. ‘You love him don’t you?’ Oh god, yes I ******* did But I knew the heaviness to love and it was so terrifying that I couldn’t even say, 'yes’ So, instead I nodded And realised He must have known all along Because I had never been a person that was good with words but I was always good at stares and smiles and touches. He had to have known I loved him because one stare from me and he knew that I wanted him. I wonder what my touches told?

0

Apr 12, 2015

Apr 12, 2015 at 11:53 PM UTC

Jan. 4, 2015 11:40PM

I realised how dangerous love could be when everyone refused to say that I loved you But there was a time where even I refused to say that I loved you because I knew what it meant but, oh god, how obvious it was anyone could see it on my face I really did love you. There was only one time one person said. ‘You love him don’t you?’ Oh god, yes I ******* did But I knew the heaviness to love and it was so terrifying that I couldn’t even say, 'yes’ So, instead I nodded And realised He must have known all along Because I had never been a person that was good with words but I was always good at stares and smiles and touches. He had to have known I loved him because one stare from me and he knew that I wanted him. I wonder what my touches told?

30