Tell me that I’m beautiful, even when I don’t agree
My ugliness far deeper than what others see in me
Tell me that I’m worthy, that I’m just enough for you
Even when my heart is heavy and my mood is only blue
Show me that you’re here to stay, not going anywhere
Even when my burdens seem too difficult to share
Shower me with kindness, bathe me in your light
My flowers have all withered in the darkness of the night
Remind me that I’m strong, and that I’ll be okay
Be the one who tells me all the things I cannot say
Jan 15, 2020
Jan 15, 2020 at 1:18 PM UTC
Yes, I can do this all on my own
But really, why would I want to?
Being capable of independence
Doesn’t mean that I don’t need you, too.
Yes, I can navigate life’s intricacies
Schedules are kind of my jam
But I’d be happy to share my calendar
So we can work on a master plan
Yes, I’m a kick *** mama
No matter the problem, I find a way
But it’d be nice if I knew you’d be there
At the end of those really tough days
Yes, I’m mastering my confidence
And as much as I’d like to say
That I don’t need your validation
It’d still be nice to hear anyway.
Yes, I can handle the hard times
I always somehow pull through
But it sure would seem less scary
If I were facing my hurdles with you
Dec 6, 2019
Dec 6, 2019 at 2:19 PM UTC
It’s difficult to bite your tongue
When the truth deserves to escape
The lies flowing forth so freely
Leave me shocked, mouth agape
I know it shouldn’t matter, now
It’s not my problem anymore
He’ll tell his story how he sees fit
Just as he’s always done before
He’s the victim, I’m the cause
If not for me, he’d be doing just fine
I’m a horrible, wretch of a woman
And he’s a ray of ******* sunshine
So I’ll keep my lips closed as I listen
And I’ll fight back the tears as I read
My soul demands vindication
But instead, I will calmly concede
He knows the truth, just like I do
And his stories are his alone to tell
He’ll play the role of the victim
And with pity, I’ll wish him well
Aug 13, 2019
Aug 13, 2019 at 1:36 PM UTC
You, my sister, are strong
You are worthy and gifted and kind
You my sister, are going places
Don’t fear what you’ll leave behind
Just think of all that is still to come
There’s so much you have yet to see
And imagine the future that’s waiting
It’s time. Let your spirit run free
Jul 2, 2019
Jul 2, 2019 at 3:45 PM UTC
Put on the face you want to see
Don’t bother with anything real
Making a scene does nothing for me
So I’ll continue to fake what I feel
I don’t need the extra attention
I can stand here on my own
I don’t need to kneel before you
I can do this all alone.
Maybe if broke all the rules
Or called you out of your name
Or demanded your attention
And threatened to quit this game
But instead I stand here quietly
Submissive, as I’m supposed to be
And tell you that I’ll wait around
While Daddy handles his Baby
Craving the care you show her
As I smile and nod my head
And tell you that I understand
Why she gets your time instead
Put on the face you want to see
It doesn’t matter if it’s real
Be a good girl, don’t make a scene
Pretending I’m fine with this deal
Jul 2, 2019
Jul 2, 2019 at 3:40 PM UTC
My heart is dead… or at least the part that once loved you
You sit there, crying, begging, hoping, pleading, praying
And I laugh, as I remember a song lyric, and it sings itself through my memory
"I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold…"
And you watch me, as I giggle, and sing the song aloud
What happened to the girl that once was
Innocent, open-hearted, ever-trusting.
She's gone now… maybe for ever
It seems like an eternity already.
"I've got an icebox where my heart used to be…."
This woman sitting here now, head back, staring at the ceiling
Waiting for you to wipe the snot from your mustache
She is bitter, and stronger, and wiser, and harder
Just remember who put the fire out.
Who froze my soul
So cold
So cold
So god ****** cold
Can someone please get me a ******* jacket........
Jul 2, 2019
Jul 2, 2019 at 1:26 PM UTC
i was thinking…
that it'd be really nice to stand
next to someone really tall..
who, if i leaned against them
i wouldn't make them fall
down...
at all
Jul 2, 2019
Jul 2, 2019 at 1:23 PM UTC
Rain rain, come again,
Bathe me in your dew
Fill my ears with echoes
Cover me in blues
Drip your rainy drops
On my hot, defeated skin
Cool all my frustrations
Bursting from within
Light the world around me
I need to feel your roar
Give me all you’ve got
And leave me wanting more
Sing my tired soul to sleep
But please leave in the night
So I can wake up in the morning
And pretend that I’m alright
Jul 2, 2019
Jul 2, 2019 at 1:22 PM UTC
Living in a cardboard jungle
Holding out hope for better days
Paper plates and greasy food
First grade drama club plays
Watching the pounds pack back on
As I sit on the couch in a haze
Wondering if this is going to change us
Wandering through my cardboard maze
Boxes on top of boxes
Everything ready to move
Silence then yelling then nothing
There’s nothing for me to prove
As he cries for the things he’s losing
I hold my first born, rocking him tight
Holding back tears of my own
Telling myself that I did what’s right
Squeezing through recycled tunnels
Doing what needs to be done
Living with the bare necessities
Until we finally get to move on
Here’s to a better life for us all
No drafty windows and no creaky floors
No secrets or worries or frustration
Just communication and open doors
A new school and new friends for my baby
A new home for our new family
A new start, and a new way of living
And hopefully, a brand new me.
Jul 2, 2019
Jul 2, 2019 at 1:21 PM UTC
Wandering through this hostel, it was never quite my home
Different rooms, different people, different stories
How is it that their circumstances became my life…
Is it worth my time, my effort, my happiness… my sanity
Walking through the faux wood doorway, photos on the walls
Distant memories of what it was to laugh… and to love
Broken glass on the floor, the frames long ago shattered…
Much like our dreams of happily ever after.
My beautiful crimson sofa, turned into a bed.
The bed of a 60 year old alcoholic who I call dad
Tables converted to dressers, pill bottles litter the rug…
No longer a place to live, but a place to slowly die
An empty sink, an empty wine bottle, an empty fridge
What does it matter to cook a meal that won’t be eaten
Fast food wrappers fill the trash, among the cheap beer cans
Much like the stench of burnt coffee fills my nose
A ***** bathroom, for ***** boys, with whom I share this space
Toilet seat always raised, **** stains lining the bowl
Beard hair, toothpaste, razors… that dingy ring around the tub
A garbage full of used tissues, the floor littered with clothes
A closed door that leads to a black room, with black walls
Black metal, gory video clips from youtube, hateful faces flashing
Food wrappers litter the floor, along with knives and guns
Hatred and pain seep from the keyhole as I avert my eyes
To the trains and plains comforter, a dreamcatcher hangs nearby
Action heros, matchbox cars, an unmade bed, overtaken by imagination
The 13 inch t.v. switching between Disney and an old Gamecube
The smell of a sweaty mohawk, and a feeling of unabashed loved
Until finally I can retreat into hiding, to a bed with a story or two
Clothes to be folded, empty wine glasses, ******** on the bedside table.
I shy from the mirror that hangs on the wall, and drift off slowly to sleep
Drowning myself in forgetfulness, wishing it were that easy… to forget
Jul 2, 2019
Jul 2, 2019 at 1:21 PM UTC