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jupiterfrompluto
jupiterfrompluto
20/F/New York "I wish I could learn to love myself again."
If I could sleep anywhere, I would sleep in a world where you can close your eyes and never have to open them again. Because on harsh days where I feel like my spirit is crushed , I just want to sleep forever. Life is perfect when I’m sleep, but when I wake up. All the times I tried to feel the release of my soul leaving my body, I always failed. Then when I wake up, in the hospital looking and feeling dumb, I always feel the same.. ****** And even though you broke my heart in real life. In my dreams , I am the one hurting you, I can control what happens. But when I wake up I still love you.. And when you decided to end your life without warning signs. I tried to wake you up, but you found that world. And chose to sleep forever. And for that I’ll never forgive you. Whats crazy is , when I try to find that same world so I could be with you. I always wake up ......
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Mar 5, 2020
Mar 5, 2020 at 10:55 PM UTC
When I wake up
There is a girl that I love but she left me She broke my heart now I feel untrusting I tried to give her the world but she don’t love me I cried my eyes dry She said she didn’t want me The whole relationship wasn’t even perfect You did some things to me, I feel like I deserved it. When you put ya hands on me I really deserved it You said you hated yaself And I felt that You wanted to be loved And I tried to give you that But you’d rather go be with people who wanna treat you bad And I don’t know why you are this way and it makes me sad I just wanted to do everything I could to make you happy And I thought that last incident was what you wanted so I did it for you And look now it ****** us up Cause it hurt you and now you hate me I’m not ashamed to say that I still love you Even though we been thru things I still **** with you Nobody will ever understand why I **** with you You took me from a bad place to try to give me a better life I promise you I will never stop loving you. I always tell you that you deserve the world and you don’t believe it But you do. I just want you to give me a chance to prove it to you You said I’m not helping you and that **** hurts You said all I do is make yo life worse And when I read that text it really hurt Cause since day one I always put you first And I wish I could clone myself so I could give you a new me Maybe that version will better I feel like a ****** person, Baby I hurt ya feelings and you didn’t deserve it I never mess up so this is all new to me I regret everything and I hope that you see it I’m sorry I love you and I really mean it All I ever want is for you to be next to me All I want is for you to be with me And if we can’t be together be my bestie Until we can fall back in together Cause this love I have for you won’t ever go away. And Yes this is a public apology To you from me.
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Oct 7, 2019
Oct 7, 2019 at 6:59 PM UTC
July 17th, 2018
There is a girl that I love but she left me She broke my heart now I feel untrusting I tried to give her the world but she don’t love me I cried my eyes dry She said she didn’t want me The whole relationship wasn’t even perfect You did some things to me, I feel like I deserved it. When you put ya hands on me I really deserved it You said you hated yaself And I felt that You wanted to be loved And I tried to give you that But you’d rather go be with people who wanna treat you bad And I don’t know why you are this way and it makes me sad I just wanted to do everything I could to make you happy And I thought that last incident was what you wanted so I did it for you And look now it ****** us up Cause it hurt you and now you hate me I’m not ashamed to say that I still love you Even though we been thru things I still **** with you Nobody will ever understand why I **** with you You took me from a bad place to try to give me a better life I promise you I will never stop loving you. I always tell you that you deserve the world and you don’t believe it But you do. I just want you to give me a chance to prove it to you You said I’m not helping you and that **** hurts You said all I do is make yo life worse And when I read that text it really hurt Cause since day one I always put you first And I wish I could clone myself so I could give you a new me Maybe that version will better I feel like a ****** person, Baby I hurt ya feelings and you didn’t deserve it I never mess up so this is all new to me I regret everything and I hope that you see it I’m sorry I love you and I really mean it All I ever want is for you to be next to me All I want is for you to be with me And if we can’t be together be my bestie Until we can fall back in together Cause this love I have for you won’t ever go away. And Yes this is a public apology To you from me.
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45
While he is stretched out in bed sleeping peacefully, She is wide awake, sitting up straight, Thinking…. About how once upon a time ago she used to love him inside out. How she loved his head that is full of curls. And is dimple that formed when he smiled. How nothing, I mean NOTHING could compare to the cute tiny kisses he would give her on her cheek. But then as time when on she started to hate him. Every-time he reached out to touch her, She tensed up and placed her hand limp in his. And meeting his family was a simple fake smile, she said “hi” and kept it pushing. They’re conversations with each other were dull and boring. Matter of fact, she barely spoke at all. And he always wondered why?
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Oct 7, 2019
Oct 7, 2019 at 6:53 PM UTC
Sleeping with the enemy
I think you are the most beautiful person ever Every feature of you is like a melody Beautiful and mesmerizing And I look forward to seeing your smile That’s what keeps me going throughout the day. And although you may think nothing of it When you put your hand up to the glass to “touch” hands; It’s a special moment for me Because you smile while doing it and I feel like there’s a part of you that thinks it’s kind of special too. Just not as much as me. And you’re the first person to ever make me nervous. Just looking at you makes my heart race And sometimes I’m at a loss for words. I’ve never felt like this before. You make me feel like there is a rainbow at the end of a bad thunderstorm You make me feel happier around you, because normally I’m sad. And you’re so full of character and kindness. Oh god your kindness makes me feel like I’m in a dream, because your kindness is so pure. You let me speak my mind, and you don’t judge me no matter what I say. *** and your laugh , I literally just heard it while writing this. Your laugh makes me smile so hard. This is why I like you. Although I shouldn’t. There are rare cases like this where the person actually gets a chance with their crush But I know it won’t happen for me which ***** And because your beautiful and older than me; what chance do I have? Absolutely zero Maybe 5%. Sometimes I cry thinking about you and it’s because I care that much. I just wish you knew exactly how I feel. And even though my feelings will obviously be either rejected or hurtful, or maybe you’d give me a chance? I want you apart of my life forever. And even though it’s kind of forbidden. I’d still want you to know how I feel. So if you ever come across this poem Just know that my feelings are 100% true
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Aug 24, 2019
Aug 24, 2019 at 10:09 AM UTC
For You (8/22)
I think you are the most beautiful person ever Every feature of you is like a melody Beautiful and mesmerizing And I look forward to seeing your smile That’s what keeps me going throughout the day. And although you may think nothing of it When you put your hand up to the glass to “touch” hands; It’s a special moment for me Because you smile while doing it and I feel like there’s a part of you that thinks it’s kind of special too. Just not as much as me. And you’re the first person to ever make me nervous. Just looking at you makes my heart race And sometimes I’m at a loss for words. I’ve never felt like this before. You make me feel like there is a rainbow at the end of a bad thunderstorm You make me feel happier around you, because normally I’m sad. And you’re so full of character and kindness. Oh god your kindness makes me feel like I’m in a dream, because your kindness is so pure. You let me speak my mind, and you don’t judge me no matter what I say. *** and your laugh , I literally just heard it while writing this. Your laugh makes me smile so hard. This is why I like you. Although I shouldn’t. There are rare cases like this where the person actually gets a chance with their crush But I know it won’t happen for me which ***** And because your beautiful and older than me; what chance do I have? Absolutely zero Maybe 5%. Sometimes I cry thinking about you and it’s because I care that much. I just wish you knew exactly how I feel. And even though my feelings will obviously be either rejected or hurtful, or maybe you’d give me a chance? I want you apart of my life forever. And even though it’s kind of forbidden. I’d still want you to know how I feel. So if you ever come across this poem Just know that my feelings are 100% true
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36
When he gave me roses; I passed his flowers onto someone else. And when I gave him money so he could buy himself nice things; He spent it on another person. We loved each other but we weren’t “in love” Holding hands meant nothing to us. In fact, it felt like we were forced to; like younger siblings almost. At family gatherings our tight-lipped smiles and clasped hands had everyone fooled. And laying in bed together meant nothing because we slept with our backs facing each other. Our families were expecting a bundle of joy, so with tears in our eyes, we took one night to create it. A baby that was created so our families couldn't figure out our secrets. (The Gay-Straight couple)
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Apr 4, 2019
Apr 4, 2019 at 11:21 PM UTC
When He Gave Me Roses
If your love runs out, Don't give up so fast on me… We can try to get that love back. We can share mine. My love is endless for you. Whenever you need a refill just tell me and I'll go half with you.
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Apr 4, 2019
Apr 4, 2019 at 11:19 PM UTC
If your love runs out
IM SORRY January 27th, 2019 at 12:01 AM I wasn’t good enough I wasn’t smart enough I wasn’t close enough I wasn’t strong enough I wasn’t happy enough to keep you happy I was stupid and did actions on impulse And now you’re gone… I wish I could rewind It’s killing me I don't want anyone else I only care about you I love you, I’m sorry I didn’t show it better Every notification I get, I pray it's from you. **** my heart really hurt right now Really crazy to say that I can't truly be happy without you.
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Apr 4, 2019
Apr 4, 2019 at 11:18 PM UTC
The Mess UP
You asked how did I take my mind off things, So I cut my skin open to show you And when I bled in your arms You held me tight and told me that I didn't need to do that anymore.
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Apr 4, 2019
Apr 4, 2019 at 11:16 PM UTC
Skin-Deep
Young 20 year old, eyes low and sad they wondered why he chose music it became his passion, it was all he had. He turned to near-death experiences to lessons and become stronger inside and out. His songs? Like tunnels, deeper and deeper hitting you hard like heavy bricks inspiration swelled in our chest and us, your fans screamed "IM STILL ALIVE BECAUSE OF X!!!" June 18th came along and you have ripped away, that bullet that hit you tore holes in our hearts. Who could we turn to for depression help now? Who would fill our hearts and minds now? With fresh tears in our eyes and sadness swelled in our chests, we put your music on and listen to build new inspiration and show people your vision
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Jun 19, 2018
Jun 19, 2018 at 11:08 AM UTC
A star finally at peace (Rip Xxxtentacion)
If only your soul was as soft as your eyes If only I didn’t believe Everyones tragic lies If only I could cover my ears So I can’t hear What they say I know its not true But still Why does it hurt to love you?
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May 31, 2018
May 31, 2018 at 11:33 PM UTC
if only