I'm battling the toughest enemy
myself, that i couldn't carry
Everyday i want to bury
my heart that's always teary
Arrogance sometimes arising
Selfishness is encircling
Desolation isolated me
lack of passion come free
My ambition is so high
without persuasion I die
Alone in high tones
come without high hopes
Negativity are all in my system
each day distressing perfect scheme
My toughest enemy is not you
from the start it was me, and always it’ll be
Fighting every inch of my piece
yearning to defeat the fiercest antagonist.
Sep 1, 2015
Sep 1, 2015 at 3:56 PM UTC
I found a piece of myself today
Lodged in a baby stroller getting off the train
I didn't know it was there until I reached in to help
I did a poor job of it but still
The mother patted me on the shoulder
And said a foriegn word of thanks
I found a piece of myself today
I didn't know I'd lost
Aug 29, 2015
Aug 29, 2015 at 7:07 AM UTC
I want to get out
out of my bed, my room
get out and see the sun
see my friends
I want to go out
have fun
get way too drunk
go out
fall, get back up again
I want to get out
out of my head
away from my dread
the crushing doubt
I want so much
to be free from myself
myself, I am my own
disability
...liability
I want to be able to say
I´m ok
I´m great
with conviction
and I want it to be true
Aug 27, 2015
Aug 27, 2015 at 5:34 PM UTC
what is this?
is that hope I see?
is that the light at the end of this endless
black tunnel?
can it be, that it´s finally my turn
to bask in the sunlight again?
ah, to be light as a feather and carefree once more.
to have a mind
void of worries and fears.
to lift my gaze towards the the future
with all it´s uncertainties
and say:
«I´m not scared of you anymore!»
to face the oncoming winter
with it´s cold, gloomy grasp
and know it won´t break me this time!
this year my coat will be lined with warm memories
and burning resolve.
knowing the frost won´t burn my soul
this time
this time around
I hope
I will get it right
Aug 23, 2015
Aug 23, 2015 at 1:35 PM UTC
it´s not that my mind is that dark
that is to say
that my thoughts and moods
are a perpetual grey
blotted and distorted
those happy memories I made
into a dark murky pool
go my sun-shiny days
I know my thoughts might seem cliché..
«the persistant clouds turn my blue sky grey»
but it is the the truth
my truth!
my dismay!
still I find myself begging
for the light to stay
Aug 20, 2015
Aug 20, 2015 at 6:00 AM UTC
for as long as I can recall
sounds have been around and a part of me
sounds of the television
sounds of my siblings
of my parents
of music
so much sound around me
that I´ve neglected to listen
to the ones who echo in my head
when they come it´s late at night
when I lay down at the end of the day
they keep me from slumber
with their thundering vengeance
demanding to be heard
for when do I have the time to hear them?
when is it ever silent enough for them to speak to me?
can I really blame my surroundings?
or should I blame myself for not daring to listen?
am I too scared
for what they might say?
for they might confront me
with all my mistakes
and all of my wrongdoings
with wasted potentials
and uncertain futures
even more frightening;
whom is it that speaks?
is it God?
is it the Devil?
is it me?
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015 at 7:34 AM UTC