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julia-shalom
julia-shalom
15/F/distance
Scared to break another heart Scared to find love in all this dark But love light came to my shadows Chose me his target Said I was worth it Said I was gold Every little thing you do Echos the promise: "I love you" You screenshot our facetimes You stay up all night You listen to my fears And help me to fight You told me that I'm worth the risk Of broken hearts and broken dreams You told me but you showed me too I know your promises ring true
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Sep 5, 2021
Sep 5, 2021 at 6:15 PM UTC
Didn't expect to be loved again
I'm grateful for the pain you caused Thanks for not shutting up about my flaws Because of you I learned about toxic stress I know how to be a manipulated mess You held my face in your hands Said you were proud of where my actions did land I guess you like it when I cry Maybe you feel better about your lies But you didn't know I was crying because of what you made me do You controlled my desires and I hated that about you I didn't know Scratch that, I knew I knew you were wrong and treating me bad But I hurt myself every **** time you asked Because I thought you were the one I tried to keep you from leaving I thought you were the one Till my heart no longer stopped bleeding Don't speak to me that way again Boy, I'm not your lover Thanks for all the pain you've caused Do your next girl better :)
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Aug 19, 2021
Aug 19, 2021 at 4:14 PM UTC
thanks for the abuse :)
You're in my head Take my heart And break it if you want It's always been yours from the start I know you don't want me But I can't help adore you So here, have my heart Rip it to shreds Without ever catching my eye When I need you I want you to lie Say you love me Say you want me But it's just a dream You never were forever You deserve it all And I broke myself apart to give it to you You deserve the whole universe But I'm just a star I am nothing to you But you're everything to me I love you Even though you don't let me You ignore me now But maybe you never knew me Do you know, That you are the obsession Of a broken shadow? You never ask what I'm thinking about You never ask what's on my mind The answer is always you And if I could I'd kiss you till my lungs gave out You deserve every flower in every field I'm just a rose who fell for your eyes But you were afraid of my thorns You're in my head But you don't want my heart
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Jun 24, 2021
Jun 24, 2021 at 4:49 PM UTC
Unwanted
The whys always stay Why did we kiss Now I’ll never feel your lips Every night where I lay Why does my mind remiss On every time you put me on emotional trips The whys never stray Why’d I fall so hard Now I’m wasting away Was my heart to you just a thing for play? When you left, you left a shard A shredded fray Why did I give you all of me Because as soon as you disappeared from my life I had nothing I have nothing Nothing but the whys
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Jun 24, 2021
Jun 24, 2021 at 1:30 PM UTC
The Whys
I've heard it said that beauty is when scars become art And all I can hope is that that's true Because I want us to be beautiful. Right now we have so many hurts, Skin is torn and hearts are broken. Trauma clenches our throats, And trust is still broken. We have so many slices, They cut patterns around us, In our hearts And between our lips. As time wears on, We try to heal. But these don't really disappear, They become scars. So all I can hope, Is that scars become art. These patterns tell stories, They express who we are, What we've been through. Our scars express what it is to be us. And our scars make us beautiful.
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Jun 17, 2021
Jun 17, 2021 at 10:11 PM UTC
Scars Become Art
You say I'm the best you've ever had But how does that make any sense Cause I've never ever been good enough for you For you I don't know if I can ever be enough So how can anyone Anyone else Ever be good enough For you You saw me in a light That made it appear I had no flaws So once they started coming out You thought it was all wrong I've always had this side to me The closer you get the more you'll see But you thought I was perfect So when my struggles appeared You weren't prepared You aren't prepared For me You're afraid to lose me And I'm afraid to lose you too But I also need me And if you're so afraid to lose me That you can't let me be me Then I don't know what to do I want to be perfect For you But I have to be true For me So I don't know what to do For us
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Jun 17, 2021
Jun 17, 2021 at 10:05 PM UTC
For you, For me, For Us
I like you for so many reasons, but they can also be hard to place. I love that you're a mystery, one most have never solved. I love that you write poetry, that most will never see. I love that you don't have a hobby, Even though it drives me crazy. Because while you don't have a favorite pastime, You do have a favorite. You have me. I love that you chose me, To lower down your walls. I love that with me you're vulnerable, when elsewhere you're closed off. I love that your fingers are sweet and tender, and your whispers are filled with care. I love that no one else can see, that you're a sensitive and loving teddy bear. Beyond all these hidden things, the open facts are clear. I love that people love your smile, Because it's more than dear. It's the radiating of joy from your heart, A window into your warmth. It fills me with bubbly smiles, whenever it comes forth. I love that everyone can see, how adorable it is. I love that everyone can know, that smile chose me as it's fit. So the next time people ask me why it's you I'll smile and ponder for a bit Then say with absolute certainty He's a mystery And he's given me the key
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Jun 14, 2021
Jun 14, 2021 at 2:09 AM UTC
when people ask why it's you
I want to see your smile I don't think you can ever know the feeling that you give when those lips widen in happiness and your eyes crinkle in glee I want to see your smile Bright and cute and sweet It fills me with warmth and peace to know that you aren't down I want to see your smile the smile that you've shared I want to kiss that smile and tell you that I care I want to gaze into your soul I want to show you love I want to see your smile and gaze into your eyes and notice that you're gazing back and suddenly realize that you're smiling for someone special You're smiling for someone loved I want to see your smile a smile meant for me
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May 16, 2021
May 16, 2021 at 12:12 PM UTC
I want to see your smile