sometimes,
I sit and think of you,
and then perhaps another.
I think of the moments we spent,
the times I longed to call you my lover.
I feel a deepness in my chest,
rising then falling,
with every breath.
Floating and lingering,
like a melancholy chord
oh, how sweet it rests.
I've always hoped for courage,
I've gained it in all shapes and colors.
But the courage I'm missing in my collection,
is the courage of love for another.
Professing and Proud,
not pawning nor painful.
Pliable and Passionate,
without polluting a punch.
This courage,
pleasant as it sounds,
may it one day reach your ears.
-Julia Aubrey Rhodes-
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 8:32 PM UTC
perhaps we were meant to meet at a different time, on a different planet, in a different universe.
maybe we were meant to glide past each others warmth and flourish in the rays we put off.
it's a silly feeling. being bottled up tight and released with zero gravity to guide its course.
fuzzy and twinkling, like two stars in a strong orbit around a common barycenter.
it's like we're dancing around the same feelings, the same glow, but never realizing we're spinning to the same force which holds it all together.
set ablaze, spinning spirits letting off sparks of stardust we silently wait for our moment to shine.
whether that be together or apart...
-Julia Aubrey Rhodes-
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 11:06 PM UTC
it's crazy...
how we put our whole lives into something, devoting every ounce of our heart and soul into it until we're left with the results we want...the results we never get.
but, maybe that's just it.
maybe the reason those devotions don't satisfy is because they never really were meant to? maybe our devotions should lie elsewhere...lie somewhere where can't even begin to comprehend.
suppose our devotion in life isn't anything selfish...anything that gives us gain, but rather surrender.
and in those moments our devotions and dreams don't work, maybe it's merely because they aren't the right ones to set our eyes on.
-Julia Aubrey Rhodes-
Nov 24, 2017
Nov 24, 2017 at 11:18 PM UTC
Sometimes I just wish I could hug you.
Like a sweet little novel I've been dying to read, I wish to read you, all over, front and back, spine to paper.
And yes, often times, I just wish I could wrap you up in a roll of oozing vanilla and breathe the moment in.
I wish I could tell you that you're worth more than the girl who left you standing on you front porch with a lingering love.
Sometimes, I wish that your eyes would softly rest upon mine and feel peace in knowing your life is not complete with her, but rather complemented, perhaps, with me.
Someday I wish you look at life's disappointments as a step towards greater and not a stand still of why's and why-not's.
And if you're willing, I would hope you sit and wish the same for me.
- Julia Aubrey Rhodes -
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 30, 2017 at 12:01 AM UTC
I am so grateful.
so grateful for the fact I was saved...
saved from the pain, sorrow, and weakness of which the world layed upon me.
grateful for the fact that all of the choices I make that are filled with regret are wiped away when I look up.
grateful for the tears that pour down my face without ever calling out Your name...the heart of mine which opens without even meaning to.
I am grateful to be called a child in need of a Father, a child with a Father.
I am forever yours.
-Julia Aubrey Rhodes-
Aug 26, 2017
Aug 26, 2017 at 8:56 PM UTC
maybe it was because we were both changed, both older.
those years we didn’t speak made us a little bit bolder.
was it the coloration of my cheeks that still was faint,
or the way I curved every word I marked in paint.
was it your samson hair that drew me in,
strength so alluring that my resistance was paper thin.
I don’t think things will quite ever be like they once were,
golden in my brain waves.
no, they will be chromatic and effortlessly constant in my view sight.
surely they will be for you too.
- Julia Aubrey Rhodes -
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 28, 2017 at 12:00 AM UTC
maybe it's because I'm cold or just because you're cold hearted.
maybe it's because the memories of your lips leave mine parted.
maybe it's because the words you never told me are still a wish that is longing to come true.
or maybe it's just the color of my mood, oh deep deep blue.
maybe because all of the things I once leant upon were temporary, I wanted to cherish every last hazy moment.
maybe because even while it was fake offer, I was sold on you and the price I paid for it.
I'll leave you slow dancing where I first approached you...in your bright, blazing room.
-Julia Aubrey Rhodes-
May 18, 2017
May 18, 2017 at 12:21 AM UTC
I remember the time I really looked into your eyes; I mean I had always thought they were brown, but when I looked, and I mean really looked, I was mistaken.
The fourth of July actually was a time for color and celebration, and as I sat beside you and watched the glowing works explode the sky's veil, I knew I didn't want the flames to stop falling through the haziness of your eyes.
Speckled green. The perfect color, just in between all the rest, absorbing life itself.
Each laugh erupted louder than the booms in the sky, and every smile was something like the Cheshire Cat, gleaming in the darkness.
And once the golden whirlwind had ended, once we walked apart, I stayed humming the tune of your voice as it replayed over and over in my mind.
-Julia Aubrey Rhodes-
Feb 3, 2017
Feb 3, 2017 at 5:30 PM UTC
is it possible to despise yourself so much that you can't feel anything anymore? possible to rely on the fragments of other people's morals and beliefs other than the oozing, hot and bright ones of your own numb mind?
are they still burning up there in my mind, melting inside my brain, scorching the veins, and scaring my tissue?
have my eyes ever looked so grey with ash or are they glazed, reflecting you?
if they aren't, I would ask someone to light a match, but sadly only I can do that.
-Julia Aubrey Rhodes-
Jan 28, 2017
Jan 28, 2017 at 3:18 PM UTC
The song we sing together is quite out of tune, yet as it's stuck in our minds we chose to sing along every moment our lips part.
It's a dreadful tune, like ring-around the rosie, we think it's something we can dance and laugh to even though it's a song of death and torture.
Please change the record.
- Julia Aubrey Rhodes -
Jan 22, 2017
Jan 22, 2017 at 10:30 PM UTC