How am I meant to sleep hearing my own heart beat and unsure of what any of this means;
are these tears from whats in front of me, or am I broken from some distant memory?
My brain is so cluttered I can’t think
all I see is darkness
all I feel is agony
thoughts swimming in the roaring seas of my mind
pain
loss
suffering
where is joy and peace?
have those parts ceased, or merely been creased?
either way I can’t seem to flatten out the pages to see what lies between.
So I chose to lie with no sleep,
because lying is my means.
That's my drug of choice no sleep and a lethal dose of caffeine.
Maybe if I cloud my mind enough, I won’t disrupt the already torn seams.
I know to be broken is to begin to be made whole,
but I can’t go down that road.
No not alone.
I can’t take someone with me, they don’t deserve this toll.
Maybe I merely feel comfort in the pains of old.
The simple love of my difficult place.
Jun 10, 2017
Jun 10, 2017 at 6:00 PM UTC
You only get the good.
Even though they’ve “listen”
even though they’ve “understood”
even though they’ll “die for me”!
I mean they’ve said they would.
Life has taught me that no words last forever, that's why you only get the good.
Because for me to dive to the deepest dark deprived depths of my desperate life
means risk, so I think I’ll lie.
She said I only have hours left to steal her breath
but how am I meant to live up to that test?
Every moment I’m with her there's explosions in my chest-
but to her our time together is emptiness.
I can’t miss the mark if I don’t try,
so when you ask about my day, I’ll stay quiet and reply that I am fine,
even if I’m dead inside.
Jun 6, 2017
Jun 6, 2017 at 1:42 PM UTC
Still, I feel stuck-
I am in the woods with no way of knowing what direction to travel:
I have no feet to walk,
no hands to touch,
no brain to wonder,
no heart to feel.
I’m surrounded by emotions but I feel none.
So much pain and loss, so much joy to be sung,
but I just sit. Unable to stand up from this mud.
This slick trap I have fallen for too many times now!
The things I once had I now dream about.
But I am still afraid of these dreams,
because I wake up with the pain knowing that they were just that.
Just a blip.
An escape from reality but only for a moment,
maybe if I had a clip I could make them permeant.
Just a squeeze of a trigger, or a ledge slip
Jun 5, 2017
Jun 5, 2017 at 2:33 PM UTC
We’re damed to dwell in this world of death defying disillusion.
Where everything that slumps or slips
Can be cut tucked and clipped,
Until 45 is 35 but that's not enough because what the people want is 25.
at 25 you must be tan toned and thin enough to have a gap in your thighs.
don't forget you have to have the most incredible eyes, and wear glasses even if your vision right.
We don’t care whats in your mind, in fact please keep it in your mind
your thoughts are distracting us from what's on the outside.
Hey what do you think of her, she’s alight I mean her hair is nice
but her bodies not super tight
she’s one of those girls better from a distant sight
she’s a solid 7 thats enough to spend the night.
Lets not forget about the men,
we are judged based on how many “chicks” we can get into our beds-
and if you can lie to them well better yet,
but don’t pretend that thats not a life that leads to emptiness.
This is what a woman should look like: kind, loving, patient, intelligent, funny, thoughtful
And a man should be: kind, loving, patient, intelligent, funny, thoughtful
We are yelling to **** sexism until its dead
but most of the problems still lie in our own heads!
I’m not saying it only goes one way,
I’ve seen men hate women and women hate men in the same place.
we are all so caught in drawing lines between color and *** we forget that we are all part of the same human race
and are all beautiful children that God made.
I am tired of watching people inject themselves more than they eat!
I am tired of seeing airbrushed naked people on every digitalized screen!
I am tired of witnessing harassment of women walking down the street!
and I am tired, of everyone ignoring it all.
those who do speak out, do so with hate
just look at her for instance, words such as **** and ***** echo through her brain.
She only looks that thin because she starves herself to try to alleviate the pain that her dad made when he left on that day
maybe if she was thinner, he would have stayed.
If only she knew how beautiful she was.
if only she knew her value is not based on earth but up above.
If only she knew of her heavenly fathers love.
if only she knew that before that day she decided she’d bore enough
and slit her wrist so bad she never got back up..
Look at him,
He saw his first piece of *********** before the age of thirteen
promptly plastered on the front page of a grocery store magazine.
that picture ripped through his brain prying at the seams
perverting his perception of what love really means.
He was taught that *** equals love,
and learned to fulfill that lust by clicking new images on a computer screen until he had enough.
It wasn’t until someone came beside him teaching him to show respect and rise above
that he was able to fully appreciate and understand who she truly was.
She is not some **** or ***** or a fit body and pretty face to look for.
she is a precious soul to adore, a beautiful mind to explore,
she is a gateway to freedom, a hallway filled with open doors,
she is not JUST an image! no, she is incredibly more.
But this is what a woman should look like: tan toned and thin enough to have a gap in her thighs
and a man should look at whatever satisfies his eyes
Jun 4, 2017
Jun 4, 2017 at 5:46 PM UTC