I lay in bed alone at night and wonder why I'm here.
I do so much for everyone
Why don't they show they care?
I met this girl who said she loved me
something I haven't heard in so long.
She used me for my money
what a ride she took me on.
There is so much hurt I feel, so much anger trapped inside.
Sometimes I wish my dad was here, but to me he's not alive.
I have no one to talk to
These drugs seem to be the only way
Turns out it's a lie just like the smile I put on each and everyday.
I know outside I'm smiling, It's the face I fake for you,
But inside my soul is crying and there is nothing I can do.
I know my family loves me,
I'm there when their decisions are poor.
I'm sick of feeling like this walked on rug thrown upon the floor.
I lay in bed and wonder what the hell I'm doing here
Can I wake up from this dream?
Jun 14, 2017
Jun 14, 2017 at 12:11 AM UTC
I'm breaking;
I can't be fixed.
I'm missing,
But I won't be missed.
Still shaking
From what I fear.
I can't let you in,
So don't come near.
I guess you're right;
I'm way too thin,
And I'm fighting a battle
That I'll never win.
I have so many flaws;
I don't know where to start
From my messed up hair
To my messed up heart.
So what's the point
To continue to fight?
When my restless days
Turn into restless nights.
This life hasn't been fair.
I can finally tell
That nobody cares,
And it hurts like hell.
I still don't understand
What was God's cause?
Why did He put me on earth
With all of my flaws?
Was I born just to die?
Am I part of a plan?
Made to finally see
That I won't die an old man.
I don't know how to live.
I have nothing to gain,
And all I want from you
Is to end all my pain.
I'm losing sight
Of what I've already seen.
I'm losing my grip,
And I'm barely seventeen
Feb 4, 2017
Feb 4, 2017 at 10:54 PM UTC
I'm glad you're happy.
I guess it's what I deserve.
I can't change the fact
You make my heart swerve.
I had my chance,
I ******* it all over.
Threw away my only luck
Like a four leaf clover.
I'm not saying that I'm perfect,
I'm not saying I'm a nice guy,
But be mine once again.
Not only will I make it worth it,
But I'll ****** try.
You really don't understand,
You're worth more than a hundred grand.
I never wanted it to be like this.
It hurts because you're the one my heart will miss.
I can't take back the moment.
I can't make your happiness change.
Don't look at me now, I'm broken.
It's like I'm being shot at a shooting range.
Jan 6, 2017
Jan 6, 2017 at 7:12 AM UTC
For all the times I tried to hide
All the darkness I've defied
And all those times I felt alive
Only to fall down again and die
I know some people refuse to see
The life I lead, the blood I bleed
The reasons I did things that just weren't clean
And when I hid away, just let me be
I don't expect everybody to trust
The passion, the fire, the anger, the lust
The security, loyalty, vision deceives
It's how you perceive, how you see me
And I'm sorry that tonight I said goodbye
But it's better for you, I ain't gonna lie
In every lie there's a kernel of truth
And it shows me that I was never right for you
Dec 23, 2016
Dec 23, 2016 at 11:04 PM UTC
Ignorance is bliss they say,
I never found it
When I was being put down
And they were shouting at me like
"You'll never rise up, you're nothing, ain't worth the time"
And it only gave me another excuse to rap and to rhyme
Expressing my feelings just to get it off my chest
While at the same time writing lines simply to be my best, it's a test
And so far I've been passing, they said I can't do it
But watch as I sonic speed right on through it
I'll defeat the Doctor Eggman and chill with my bud Tails
While you sitting in the corner pointing out all my fails
But I don't care, it's behind, another lesson learnt
So that I progress easier and don't be so badly hurt
I like to help others, a saint some would say
A blessing disguised as a kid you see everyday
But keyword is disguised, every man has his demons
They can be so bad that ol' skull-face takes to reapin'
But I haven't fallen yet, I still stand tall
On the hill, helpless just watching it all burn
I know I'm not liked, by many and still don't care
As long as I live happily then I ain't gonna be snared
By the concept that the best must have a good reputation
But solitude for some is the key to salvation
Why would you want to fit in with people that you don't like?
And when they try to conform you, tell em to take a hike
Dec 23, 2016
Dec 23, 2016 at 11:04 PM UTC
Imagine yourself
Alone in your head
You're hanging, dangling
From a silver thread
Empty, alone
With the monsters within
Internally screaming
You just want to give in
Now imagine that's you
Every day, every hour
Forever sinking
Like a wilting flower
You try to tell your dad
And you try to tell your mom
But they say you're being silly
You've just got to move on
Because teens don't know sorrow
Nor the hardships of life
They're just kids with imaginations
Just looking for attention, right?
You think that there's none
Who know how you feel
You're just so alone
But the feelings- they're real
Useless
Neglected
Forgotten
Distressed
Alone
Afraid
But mostly
Depressed
And you're friends
They go on
Like nothing has changed
"They must not care"
Your thoughts whisper
The lies in your brain
You can't escape it
Trapped in your own skin
You're ugly
You're hated
But you mask it with a grin
You hate what you feel
So instead you feel nothing
Your insides are numb
Your confidence crumbling
You look to other things
To stop the pain
Cutting, pills
But it gives you no gain
And the people around you
Shout abuse your way
"You're hurting yourself, stop it!"
That's all they ever say
No matter how you plead
That you're broken inside
They turn the other way
They run, they hide
They say you're just foolish
It's all in your head
What they don't know, is inside
You're already dead
Nov 6, 2016
Nov 6, 2016 at 8:40 PM UTC
Yeah I've seen some ****
And felt deeply about all of it,
Been places and seen faces, wish I could forget
And some things I wanna take back, that I shouldn't have said
But it's easier said than done,
The past catches me up whenever I try to run
So I reflect on how I'm such a reject
Not accepted simply because I'm different
But not everyone sees what I see
That everybody's different, in their own way unique
Some believe in love at first sight, I didn't
And if she sees this she'll probably be suspicious
But there's so many different meanings for the word love
And so many times I think I've had enough
Of trying my hand at trying to hold another's hand
I put in more effort than I seem to, understand?
It's just another facade, another masquerade
Of people hiding thoughts and ideals so that they stay safe
But how in the world is this world gonna change,
When nobody opens up and it all stays the same?
Nov 6, 2016
Nov 6, 2016 at 5:49 PM UTC
How do you perceive the world
A world as dark and happy,
Suppressive and full of opportunity,
As another headache or painkiller,
Or as much of a heartbreak
Or heart-filler?
Where does one draw the line
In the figurative dirt of
Trust or mistrust,
Of isolation and lust?
How have you been conditioned to view this world?
Through two windows to a compact machine
Cogs and gears turning, calculating...
What am I seeing?
Oct 31, 2016
Oct 31, 2016 at 11:31 PM UTC
It's another day,
Nothing's changed
You'd think it boring
When it stays the same
Perhaps it is,
But not to me
You could call it bad,
Predictability
I get by,
With my wicked ways
I'd load up
Though I know the names
**** digging my way to hell
I'll just take the elevator
Oct 19, 2016
Oct 19, 2016 at 8:25 PM UTC
Memories in my life fade away
As I replace them with others.
They are forgotten and stored away.
Although the memories are pushed to the side,
They are safe so I may remember them in the future.
Our mind is like a book;
It writes down important things and keeps them between the pages forever.
Maybe our whole album of memories:
Our first steps, first love, first grief, and others
Were meant to be there for us to never forget.
Oct 19, 2016
Oct 19, 2016 at 12:33 AM UTC