i trusted you were different from the rest.
i believed the words as they flowed from your mouth
when you told me that you would always be here
that you cared
that you loved me.
i trusted you were different when you said you dont express things through actions so i had to believe what you said.
maybe i was intrigued by the newness of it all
the constant wonder
the thought of you watching me in the corner of your eye instead of your full gaze on me.
i longed for your total attention
just for a minute
but you told me you were different.
i trusted you were different
but actions triumph over words
and thats when i knew we needed to end.
Aug 27, 2018
Aug 27, 2018 at 12:00 AM UTC
they never wonder about her mind
the racing thoughts
the never-ending fear
the rapid emotions
they pursue what they see through the eye
the visual
but her mind cannot be seen
only imagined
if you could see her mind
you'd see a swirling tornado
never ending
picking up random **** as it wanders
making it a part of itsown
but they never wonder about her mind when they see the visual
when they see the content girl
the fake smile on her face
her hair flowing in brown waves
her nails painted a soft yellow
and they are satisfied with the visual
if only they could see her mind.
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 2:50 AM UTC
"you can not cry"
"crying shows weakness, you are not weak"
"push away the feelings you don't want them"
"what is that weight you're holding"
i feel the tears building
my throat clogging
my tense hands trembling with fear
but not the fear of being seen as weak.
i could give a **** about that.
the fear of feelings,
letting them flow,
saying goodbye.
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 2:37 AM UTC
i see life going
i see a clock ticking
the sand flowing through the hourglass and piling up at the bottom
i see it all.
i am there
there through all the laughs
all the cries
all the adventures
i am there through it all.
i see it all happening
i am there through it all happening
yet i can not feel anything that is happening
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 2:33 AM UTC
i never meant to say goodbye
it was intended to be a see you later
i needed time
and so i left.
but then i came back
and you were gone
i held on as you changed
your morals, your interests, your hopes, your fears.
and i then realized i had said goodbye.
Jun 27, 2018
Jun 27, 2018 at 2:30 AM UTC
i love you
i love my hands in yours
i love cuddling up to you and listening to your heart beat
i love the trust i have that you will always be there
i want for us to be forever
i want us to be okay
i want us to be the one in a million
high school sweethearts that make it
oh so bad
but i am scared
scared this life will take us two separate ways
scared you will find someone better
scared i will **** up and you'll run away
loving you is scary
loving is scary
i am scared to love
we grew up being taught that we will find true love
but what if it is you
and we never make it
because i am scared to love?
Apr 12, 2018
Apr 12, 2018 at 8:21 PM UTC
thank you for being there for me when no one else was
you remained strong when all else failed
you continue to be a part of me even when i reject you
thank you for remaining one
never breaking
being resilient
you give me hope that i can remain one to myself
you never rely on others
i'm sorry i don't give you credit
i'm sorry i become disappointed with you when you are trying your best
you allow me to push you past your limits
you tell me when i take on too much both mentally and physically
i appreciate all you have become and all you will achieve
i appreciate you for putting up with my bad decisions
i know i hurt you
i know i look down upon you
i know i don't give you the credit you deserve
but thank you
for showing me strength
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 27, 2018 at 11:17 PM UTC
the scariest thing is
looking into your heart
instead of your head
Mar 27, 2018
Mar 27, 2018 at 11:06 PM UTC
My life is my story to tell
Not yours to tell your friends
Not a fable
Not a classic
Your second draft does not need to be published
For I have written the primary source
I will publish the chapters in which I am proud of
I will keep my private chapters on my desk
If you choose to publish my words, you would commit a crime.
Plagarism
My words are mine
Do not tell my story
My story is mine to tell
My life is my story
Mar 23, 2018
Mar 23, 2018 at 8:26 AM UTC
when i swallow the pain i feel it sink into my stomach
i exhale it with tears
i pray that i will soon be numb
i hope that the pain will leave
but it remains inside of me
swallowing the pain is intended to be a relief
but it becomes a weight
i feel heavier
Mar 13, 2018
Mar 13, 2018 at 5:54 PM UTC