Everyday is growing harder and harder to bare, sometimes it seems like the most difficult task in the world to run a brush through my hair.
Each and every day is the same, wake up, work, home, it's enough to drive any person insane.
But I always knew I had an escape, it was you, your arms were like these two big protective capes. Shielding me from the harshness of the world, all the awful things that go on. But lately I can't help but feel that you've been with drawn.
Have I done something to scare you? Something to make you back away, I can feel myself breaking down with each step that you take. You say you're not going anywhere, that you love me that you'll stay, but actions have always spoken louder than words so I can't help but wait for that day.
I need to fix myself, before its too late, I need to get control of my mind, of myself, before I seal our fate.
So once again I ask you before it's too late, just give me a chance, give me a new slate. I need some time, I need to feel love, I need to feel like this big messy world isn't against me, I need; well I need you, I need us.
May 2, 2017
May 2, 2017 at 10:54 PM UTC
In you I found someone I could share the silence with,
And that meant almost everything.
Jun 2, 2014
Jun 2, 2014 at 9:49 AM UTC
Blue eyes, auborn hair, porcelin skin.
Thats what you see until you get to whats within.
Within it a soul that longs to come out.
Float through the air, scream, run and shout.
It wants you to know how much you are missed.
How much i know it knows it ****** up, how it misses every kiss.
It wants you to know that it still remembers your smell.
The way you look when you first wake up, and how youre putting it through hell.
It remembers your music, your voice soft and sweet.
It remembers how much you loved the feeling of the sand on your feet.
It wants you to know, that it dwells on the past.
That its hard to move on when you left without looking back.
It has a few questions, like why would you leave?
It thought it had found its mate, another soul from the same breed.
It longs to hold you again, to rock you to sleep.
It wants to feel the way you breathe when your dreaming those beautiful dreams,
It wants to tell you that it misses you so.
It wants to ask you, why would you go?
May 20, 2014
May 20, 2014 at 10:41 PM UTC
Before I could even count, you were drinking from that bottle.
Becoming stranger and stranger to me after each and every swallow.
One, Two, Three,
The time went on, and before I could count to ten you were already gone.
Four, Five, Six, Seven,
Before I knew it I was eleven. Still though nothing had changed, that bottle had always been around; it was really nothing strange.
Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven,
Thats all that she could take, she kicked you out the door; said she had made a mistake.
Twelve years was all it took.
To drive us all away.
But atleast you have your bottle, right?
To this very day.
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 10:28 PM UTC
What do you think it’s like?
I mean the other side.
Do you think it’s stunning and beautiful?
Filled with a light divine?
Do you imagine infinite happiness, a world filled with blue skies?
Can you see the love, feel it in your bones?
No more heart ache, tears, or painful moans?
Is the wind always calm, the clouds perfectly white?
Do you think there are always beautiful starry nights?
Or do you think it’s dark?
Not a single soul in sight, do you think you'll hear the screams, be immersed in the blackest of nights?
Do you think you'll feel the cold, hear the lonely cries from hollow eyes?
Do you think you’ll suddenly remember all your broken dreams?
Will there be constant storms, battles in your mind?
Do you think you’ll constantly be scared and never know the time?
Will those dark nights go on forever, with you wandering about?
Always looking for someone but never having them reach out.
So what do you think happens when you reach the other side?
Will you float in eternal glory?
Or will you crawl and hide?
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 10:01 PM UTC
I used to see you so clearly;
your smile, your eyes, your walk.
The way you sipped your coffee, the way you talked.
I used to reach for your hand; on the good days and the bad.
But now when I go to reach there's nothing there, its rather sad.
I'm loosing my memories of you, there slipping from me.
I no longer remember your eyes, or the way you like your coffee.
I no longer reach for you; I'm walking alone now.
Somehow I've moved on, although I don't know how.
I find myself smiling and its no longer because of you.
I find myself laughing, grinning, going on without you.
Its really very sad, they said this would happen.
Now all i have left is a heart with a scar and a lesson.
May 1, 2014
May 1, 2014 at 8:47 AM UTC
Isn’t it funny how the memories we used to love to get lost in are the same ones that **** us a little more each day.
The memories that you always told yourself you wouldn’t dare forget.
The memories that made you tingle, made you smile, made you blush.
Those sacred memories that only the two of you shared.
Those memories that used to bring you the up most happiness, are now that ones that break you.
The single thought of them shatters you over and over again the more you think of them, because now they hurt.
They’re not happy memories anymore.
They’re memories that you want to put at the back of your mind.
That you want to forget. Because they remind you of what you had.
They remind you that you’ll never get those feelings back, those moments back. That person back.
So you wake up each day and try your hardest to block them out.
But all they do is hit you.
Hit you like a freight train reminding you of that terrible mistake you made.
And that no matter what you do or say, those memories will never become happy again. You’ll never get lost in them again. You’ll just dwell on them. You’ll accept the pain, and try each day to remember to forget.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 10:09 AM UTC
What was it like to loose him?
It was like hearing every goodbye he ever said to me -
Said all at once.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 10:08 AM UTC
Bruises and scars are two different things.
Bruises show up on your skin cause you a little bit of pain. But after a day, a week, a month. It slowly goes away. The pain is gone. And your’e fine again.
But scars are different. They don’t go away. They may fade, they may lighten, but they don’t ever leave. They stay on your skin to remind you of the pain you went through. To remind you of what happened. They stay with you forever.
You my love,
Are the deepest scar I have ever encountered.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 10:07 AM UTC
Everyone in the world has a different view of what perfection looks like.
Perfection to me was you.
It was you laughing.
It was you smiling.
It was you running through the hallways like an idiot.
It was you looking at me, eyes filled with such ample amounts of love.
It was you starting my car on those icy winter mornings.
It was you playing guitar in the sunlight.
It was the way you looked when you just woke up.
It was your undying love for mango’s.
It was your kindness.
It was your sense of humor.
It was your smarts.
It was the way you held me so tight like i was the only thing that mattered.
It was the way you kissed me, tender, yet hard and needed.
It was the goosebumps you gave me just by touching my hand.
It was your love for family.
It was your wanting the best for me.
It was you loving me.
It was You.
Perfection to me was You.
Just You.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 10:05 AM UTC