It was the summer of 2005. I remember being 16 and packing my suitcase with my sister. We were getting ready to leave for San Diego the next morning. That's where the cruise ship departed from by the way. We were going to visit the warm beaches of Mexico, and walk along the golden sands.
Families selling handcrafted goods neatly stretched on the stands of Mazatlan.
Then there was the forest. Everything in the rain forest comes alive before you and the air was wet like one of those Korean spas you never want to leave. The other travelers we'd meet on the boat were like us, and we were like children experiencing the magic of Disneyland for the very first time.
Dec 3, 2013
Dec 3, 2013 at 2:33 PM UTC
The blood.
I watch the pool as it begins to coagulate beneath.
Your hair is matted
There was no way I was going to stop
Until I broke those little bones in your fingers.
You moan.
Your cries remind me of something I saw on TV once.
I think it was a dying animal.
You know, like in those movies where they still put things out of their misery.
That's what I'm doing, I say to myself.
I wish you followed through
With those pretended attempts to end a pathetic existence.
Might of saved me the trouble.
I take my last drag off of my cigarette,
As the night grows colder.
I wonder what kind of lies you tell yourself
Before you go to sleep.
This is when I wake up.
Unfortunately,
It was all a dream.
Jan 11, 2013
Jan 11, 2013 at 10:44 PM UTC
The steady burn I yearned for once, seems dim.
Like a candle flickers, holding on to it's last breath
I wonder where it came from, this draft.
Feeling unsteady
I see a fugitive running, trying to escape the undeniable fate that awaits him.
What a waste of time this is.
More life, more lonely nights
This is what I need.
I think.
Hunched under a floorboard of an abandoned house
He rests.
anticipates
Those sirens will drown out soon
He thinks he will see better days.
He fools himself.
Jan 11, 2013
Jan 11, 2013 at 10:41 PM UTC
Love. What is love?
Sometimes I feel like love is a substance slowly being drained from my body.
I’d like to believe I once had love,
but its days like this that make me wonder if it even exists or if its but a mere illusion that we create in our heads.
I met a guy.
I thought I had been in Love before,
but this was different.
The intensity was undeniable between us.
More than magnetic it was electric.
It made sense.
I made the conscious decision to invest my time and emotional energy into the possibility of something great.
I let my walls down that have been carefully crafted over the course of a very lengthy time in order to keep my heart safe.
I am not certain where we stand,
I’m afraid that I may not have the courage to risk potentially losing my peace of mind for this Love Phenomenon.
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 8:42 PM UTC
Suddenly the tears stopped falling
The rain began to cease
Patiently waiting for the puddles of water to dry upon the pavement
An infants cries are heard in the distance of the broken city,
and faintly it’s existence fades.
Someone wakes to an alarm that sounded on the third floor,
Only to fall back into a dream.
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 8:40 PM UTC
Sometimes I try to find myself
Beneath the sheath of broken glass
Time’s defied, hours pass.
I’ve somehow lost my mind.
I sought through thoughts uneven,
to leave with empty hands.
The lands I’ve traveled and roads I’ve crossed,
and still no better man.
As if it didn’t matter, the efforts one endures
Her demure is just a veil,
she wears to seek the truth.
Through constant clash, she rushes past
Leaves the looking glass behind.
A quake of constant despondency
Rattles through her mind
She turns back once more before,
she’s washed upon the shore.
A valley of perplexity holds dreams,
yet to come true.
The
quiet
darkness
tempts her.
And suddenly she’s you.
She’s spent from all the racket.
As the lawlessness of latter days
Brings death to her malpractice.
Could this be, shall she know?
True freedom when it nears?
Or will she fear it and back away
Like patterns of previous years.
And suddenly a voice spoke softly,
“The choice is yours my dear”
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 8:37 PM UTC
Through the concave of today,
May I see tomorrow.
For I am sick and tired of all the sorrow in my way.
Might I find the exit sign in time,
And leave this awful place behind.
Blood spills from my veins with
each step I take towards the place
that causes pain,
nevermore.
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 8:36 PM UTC
Your golden face illuminates the shawdows that light casts.
Upon the broken bits of summer that have finally come to pass.
The Autumn leaves i welcome, as i will your immense soul.
I have found you don’t really live life when your too afraid of getting old.
With this i cry out “farewell!”, and thus may never know,
Why it feels so peaceful to fall down so just let me go.
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 8:35 PM UTC
This time around I am not.
what i was back then.
for all of you that knew me
my madness was my test
i cannot tell you much has changed
but i can say now how far i will not go
into the dark of my mind
i choose to leave alone
my feelings once where strong.
now fading into a mist
of rain that doesnt nourish much
gracing the earth with its non existence
i cannot take this place.
the human race is dead.
they fall from trees like burning leaves,
never to blossom again.
**** you all for not trying
when all i do is mourn
not just for me but for everything
you will never know what its like to carry
the weight of it all.
and why would i want things to be different
it’s a fight that never ends
find myself in someones arms
their hollow little limbs.
wishing they could be more like me,
is something too strong to wish.
they ****** their uncertain ways
across my trampled body.
fine, go **** yourself.
or better yet some souless body.
because that will satisfy your thirst
will fill the void within,
I am sorry I could not cut it.
although i know i tried
somehow i didn’t see
this is all some game to you,
why the **** would I want to win.
for it is I who cannot fit
within these confines no one else sees
go find yourself, your victim,
to play mind games with.
i have all the cheats for life..
but it’s no fun when you’re the only one
no fun when no one can see
that life is one mold-able piece of clay
if you dont care then why should i
it seems to me that life is good, it’s grand, it’s great
but when no one see’s it as you do
it can feel pretty empty.
so once again a paradox of contradictions cloud my mind
time is running out and i no longer care.
despair is something i now welcome
why close the door on fear?
i will invite you in, please drink this sin
and be happy that we are here.
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 8:34 PM UTC
Strays back into the confines of the safe cage it inhabits
…my heart.
but it doesn’t have to be this way.
so i try and ill try to make it to a better day,
where love lives on through the rain that tries to wash the tears from my face to a place where they no longer exist.
They belong there though, it’s love on your face!
don’t wipe them away, there is no disgrace in pain.
im not afraid of where ive been but im afraid i might go there again,
i need some strength, can i borrow yours?
jopeta inspired by city and colors – forgive me
Jan 6, 2013
Jan 6, 2013 at 8:30 PM UTC