I came to the realization
that I'm unable to love,
at least for now.
I don't hold on to anyone
or anything, but rather,
my own insecurities.
I've tried to love, and when
I do, I only wonder if they'll
love the things about me that
I have yet to love about myself.
If your self love has limits,
so will the love you receive.
-j.nas
Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 9:28 AM UTC
Honesty, I hold back because I'm petrified.
Opening the doors to my heart will show you the result of a warzone & I don't know if you would want to stay.
I've tried to paint a picture of what it looks like from what I've gone through, & they all run. They think I have nothing left to give.
I have the most precious pieces of me left, they're just under the rubble & it's hard to dig through it alone.
All I ask, is for consistence & love; with those two things, I promise you'll encounter the best elements of me.
-j.nas
Jun 8, 2016
Jun 8, 2016 at 2:23 PM UTC
I don't think
the thought of us
not working out scared you,
I think the thought
of us working out did.
Replacing "for now" to
"forever" for any situation
is terrifying when you're
not prepared for it.
-irasol.losari/j.nas
May 30, 2016
May 30, 2016 at 10:06 AM UTC
In our minds, over time
and experience, we
plant an idea of the one
we want to love forever.
You picture them to be
everything that could
collide with your life soul
perfectly.
That's why when you
meet your soulmate,
it's a form of recognition,
instead of question. A reality
from an idea.
We already knew before we knew,
that's why they say "When you know,
you just know."
-irasol.losari
May 29, 2016
May 29, 2016 at 4:14 PM UTC
Even if I knew the end,
I would read our story again.
- irasol.losari
May 28, 2016
May 28, 2016 at 5:52 PM UTC
I'm not going to deny that I've loved.
I've loved everyone I've met & they loved me more or less in return.
Every love was different, but none were like hers.
I wasn't always easy to love. I fought addictions, pulled all nighters working, & she still loved me unconditionally. She shook hands with my demons, and still wanted to stay.
If you have someone that loves you in the midst of your personal hell, cherish them.
Anyone could love you, but not everyone loves all of you.
- irasol.losari
May 28, 2016
May 28, 2016 at 5:45 PM UTC
I've been homesick before,
but this time, home isn't a place;
It's you.
- irasol.losari
May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 11:39 AM UTC
She was the one.
Bad imagination, good conversation, trying tongue, soft touch, & crushed weakness with her strength.
However, being the one also made her isolated & alone.
Because while everyone wants the one, it doesn’t always mean they’re ready for her.
-irasol.losari
May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016 at 11:05 AM UTC
You just need closure.
All you really want is an answer to your how, why & when?
How did they lead you to this?
Why did they?
& when did it all fall apart.
The answer doesn’t lie within the response of the ones that hurt us,
but from the actions of the ones that did.
The answer was there the moment they decided you didn’t deserve one.
-irasol.losari
May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 11:06 AM UTC
The insecure are usually drawn to the ones more insecure than themselves. Intimacy becomes the reason for them to stick around, & they cover it with the word love to the most vulnerable that’s trying to find it. The dust from the initial fire starts to settle, but no one’s trying to settle for a fire that dies. They don’t know how to tell you that you don’t ignite them like you used to. You never did. The idea of intimately having you was enough until they did, and they called it love. It was love until the idea of someone else became more intriguing, more exciting, and more mysterious. It was never love. It was always lust. You were merely an overwhelming ****** inclination. No one else should ever be considered fascinating if you’re in love. It shouldn’t even be an idea. Find the one with the soul of a vast forest, to correspond to your match & gasoline. Love should feel like the fire that touches one branch and suppresses in minutes. The very magnanimous love that makes you feel alive rather than exsanguinous. Don’t hold onto anything that leaves you with boundaries. You’re both meant to love so much more.
-irasol.losari
May 1, 2016
May 1, 2016 at 4:44 AM UTC