The second to last time I seen you, you invited me up for a movie,
I felt excited, my eyes were widened, hadn't had one on one with you in quite a while
I wanted to see what was going on, what you'd been putting on
But of course I left my phone on.
You see Pete, the reason I couldn't repeat our past hangouts was because I was too busy trying to get my paper published and my last chance bangouts
I got up from your couch because you had tide I had to get a stain out
I wasn't all that worried, me and you, we mixed like some good curry
I remember the time we were in India and DC, Everytime you gave me an excuse for me to be me
It's not easy remembering the movie, maybe because my phone was buzzing and I was so moody
I left early
A girl I was with at the time wanted hang, sue me
But I am truly sorry I left at the 20 minute mark, if I could go back in time I would put my *** in park
Id ask every question, just as an escuse to pause the movie every second
I'd change the language, and we'd try paint the scenes on the screen
I'd ask you to play it again,
Because I had no idea that at 2 hours and 22minutes the movie and you would end
The last time I saw you, your body was black and blue
The cop sat there and asked me if I could identify you
I really told her no
I didn't believe it, I held up this investigation for a weekend because I couldn't see how it could be that you left me and everyone else
And I know you didn't for yourself
But I miss you for myself
You still weigh on me, it's killing my health
I don't have many words left
I'm bargaining with God, Mohammed, and the Devil trying to forget your death
Dec 18, 2018
Dec 18, 2018 at 1:44 PM UTC
Stop, go no further, here lies the bones of the murdered
You don't want to end your life by a place never recorded
Go, pay it forward, go warn those with curious toes to stay in bed
Rather wither away than enter the Kingdom of the Dead
These folks here were like you a me
But the fell for the rouse of an unanswered energy
Oh but the energy is beautiful
Emotionally brutal
Trying and prying it away is futile
Every finger, every cuticle, every office, every cubicle
It left hurricane evacuation towns lootable
It left schools and innocence shootable
It seduced Adolf and Bernie Madof
And Mao to play the inflictions imposed on the civilization supposed to be better off than those who ignored the message
Oh the beauty that lies in the heart of every sinner
This is the Kingdom of the Dead
Do not enter.
Dec 15, 2018
Dec 15, 2018 at 11:45 AM UTC
There was a young boy, who lived Behind The Beautiful Forevers
Ray, his name, fancied himself rather clever
In every endeavor he borrowed a bird and returned a feather
Born to poverty and a daddy that said 'bye honey' and he walked through the door, no one heard from him more
But, forget about that, Ray decided whether or not his story is legit, he'll get notarity at the cost of his piety
He raised up money and business to keep with the mighty
Funny, hard to find a witness to attest to the sickness he wanted to tidy and package like another product on the shelf, any damage he inflicted, it was all to himself
He just scimmed off the top, a slum lord without a taste of the *** he was
Without the knowledge of the **** he was
But to come up he was
Destined by Dad's deadly ditching to receive his sinful dividends until his itching will stop
Ray will take everyone down, he's on a clock
He doesn't think life's worth living, all you got is your time and then your legacy is left kicking
With that mindset these fools were his for the picking
What's a little money laundering when everything is section 8 and the IRS isn't going to go pondering
Add some harm to others on top, a little inner hate, nothing can touch Ray, not till the ball drops
No no, don't even try to call the cops, better with the feds, Ray has the town on lock
Meanwhile Dad figures his blood son has some lump sum from his work
Dad starts sneaking around the office, starting to lurk trying to find out if Ray still gives a **** about biological family
A little loan to much to ask for Papa, it cannot be
He wouldn't ask if he had another opportunity
They meet face to face
Ray starts going off on him, and for a moment dad hides the disgrace
But in a stroke of destiny Dad stands up and shows Ray his place
"You've gone far but there's miles left to go
You think you broke the rules, but what do you have to show?
A couple section 8 properties some thugs and some drug money?
You oughtta be thanking me, I made you who you are kid
You think you beat the system, but the system accounts for the pitiful bouts of a child gone wild
You ain't special, you ain't even above the grade, you're just the lucky guy getting paid right now
Now put your pride down"
This got Ray some kind of mad
A Greek chorus calls out 'Can you actually **** your Dad?'
Or maybe you'll grow up to be like him. Have a son and leave like him
Just do it Ray why are you waiting? It's your precious time you're wasting, talk about a legacy.
Just stab the guy and you'll be free from the inner scrutiny
Dad yells "Do it to me!"
"End me, exact your revenge on me, show me how it feels to get beat
All those times your mom got bruised fixing that 'leak'
Are you weak?"
Ray finishes and goes straight to the bridge where he is ready to jump off
Deep into the water his body rests underneath free will and all its depths
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 11:01 AM UTC
It rained and everyone gained self-awareness
Staring at the ****** corpse of the Greek and the humors
While I try to shut the molded doors.
Just a loner with some suchers
All I hear is rumors that the old ways are the future
Reason resonably rendered senseless
Someone resend me the recipe for reciprocity because the only thing separating want and won't is an apostrophe
Screwtape told me to keep my eyes peeled open just in case I find the human still coping with the new old ways
That's when I make my play
Corruption in the blood, The Vinegar Tasters buried in the mud on this rainy night
The world's first time in the mirror and collapses with the gift of sight
Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 10:22 PM UTC
Last night I was able to get a few minutes with the devil at midnight, I was telling her about my ambien fulled mid-flight fist fight
She looked at me with delight as she offered a key with some coke that just hit
just right
She told me
"Kid you're on the right path, people looking to tear you off may tell you that there is value in sit ins and coups, but these chickens get to be yours for the picking. Stay the course
No remorse
Until you're forced on your deathbed
Stick here and you'll be well fed
Maybe your spirit dying of thrist, but what good is a death if you can't afford the hearse?
I'm here to tell you first and last, that after life the afterlife is laughter in the mind of a child. Kid go wild"
Nov 8, 2018
Nov 8, 2018 at 9:31 PM UTC
This morning I opened up my eyes to exercise my right to the democratic process
It doesn't matter if I did it with heart or thoughtless
Regardless I am standing with my brothers and sisters trying to make a better system for the sinners by supporting snakes and trying not to see censors
That 45 minute wait allows me to contemplate what it all could mean.
Was this really the dream of so many before me?
I've grown so worldly with knowledge of the Caravan, the Taliban, the Muslim ban, and the wedding bands around the families of Americans
We all just want to keep it together, some to let go become a feather in the arms of the weather we call political tides
Is that a blue or red wave coming?
Whatever it is. It means nothing.
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 6, 2018 at 8:46 AM UTC
He sits by his window staring alone at a brick wall that will not answer his call
Each night, he drifts farther from home, each second a free fall into the into the core of his resolve
Each day his hometown moves father away, the more miles the more the guilt piles without decay
This concrete jungle told them 'come on' before the saw blade made it's way
That's part of the trade, he heard the old woman say. "You put your life on your back and keep the stack of grief until your dying day"
He asked Him why his home is gone and his pain persists. He told him he was searching for a place in his heart that doesn't exist.
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 9:12 PM UTC
8 weeks ago you looked me in eyes
You spoke slow. I could see through your disguise
Your lies, your ******** whatever you intend to call it
I saw the pain, but the anger came and left
Zero serotonin in your synaptic cleft
4 times I tried your cell
No answer, figured you said **** it and bailed
this excuse of a community
I just wanted to share an idea new to me
Per usual
3 times I knocked on your door
Maybe you were in there feeling boorish and down on yourself
But to be honest, I wasn't there to offer help
I was too late
And then it clicked.
Have you ever felt like you were forgetting something?
Or maybe had this thing on the tip of your tongue, an answer to the test that you didn't think of until the bell rung?
It all made sense. I ignored your pain.
And here's the ******* rub
8 weeks ago I saw you. I could've stopped you bleeding out in the tub
At the very least delayed
You were always the one to persuade me to take a righteous path
The antithesis, the person I could have been if not for social math
I needed you. I felt alone before you. You may not have given me company but you gave be hope that I could cope with the solidarity that comes with being on the far end of polarity,
I knew you. You knew me. Every now and then I start dialing your number
8-4-3....
But you ain't accepting calls no more
The pain you must of been in
The pain that I let you sit in.
******* you scared to death to fit in,
But I knew.
I pushed it back because I didn't want to deal with the fact the world isn't mine
As I sit here and whine, I could've done more. I could've done something
**** I need to tell you about this epiphany, let me call you up
8-4-3...
You don't know what you meant to me
But I don't know what to do with your legacy
Nov 3, 2018
Nov 3, 2018 at 10:32 PM UTC
Do I love you or do I need you?
Whats the difference between the two
Do you love me or do I just feed you?
Where's the difference between the two
Johnny, you better start running
Having regret for your cunning?
Johnny, swing set sitting on your land
Certainly Johnny, daddy was a rich man
He was important, see? A judge
And your mama showed you love
But your karma is catching up
You best start running
Before the rest of your family starts shunning
Johnny, you were born a null-man
But you were sworn to be a law man
Scorn so strong, knocking over the less fortunate's beer can
The darkness in you, kids call you peter pan
Perfect man to hey-mister, the guy that touched on your buddy's kid sister
You best run
Faster friend!
Feeling free is false, even if you promise not to do it again
Keep carrying on until the commas in your bank account are long gone
Run.
Well, you've made it
Old age hasn't been gracious
That gun in your drawer is looking flirtatious
Why do you keep it?
A secret? Well if times get tough you can seek it
Or maybe your scared someone knows your address and are about to leak it
At least tell yourself that, let the invisible ink show, add jest and hope neither are true
You could have been so much Johnny, but you are you.
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 6:26 PM UTC
I get a lot of calls from Sebastian,
They're always calls to action, and attempt to do a fraction of damage I used to be capable of
Or they are sometimes him in traction looking for a place to stay when he's kicked out of the cabin
But this time was different.
He left a voicemail, and his tone was solemn, so I decided to call him.
He asked me for a favor
I knew he would sooner or later,
He said high upon the mountain top
where it is quiet enough for a pen to drop 20 feet
That's where I would find him, calling with the same message on repeat, to the rest of his friends
Who knew. Driving up from the coast had me anxious
I hadn't the faintest idea of what Sebastian's pain is
I drove up and put my car in park
A petty insult was the last thing I got out before Sebastian would start
slurring sober thoughts into shouting words
"Forget about forgiveness, I lived for this business, I understand the the impact I've had.
I wish I could've been there for my sister and dad
I wish I could've been there for you two. Jimmy, you too
Now, you see, I'm gonna be living for my true father, and that father needs me to be a martyr. A warning sign for anyone who thinks they can slip behind enemy lines and not be deranged. Guys, I love you, everything has changed for me, when I'm gone please keep your sanity."
I looked around at my friends faces,
they were frowning, with a look of pity, no disgrace
The fire was crackling as the voice of Sebastian faded in and out again
I glanced back down.
If this clown is trying to bring around a new beginning for himself, he is obviously misguided.
Why is everyone sitting there, why is no one wound up and excited?
This guy isn't a Mohammed.
Typically I'd let this slide, but Sebastian about to throw his life away, and I'm sure as hell not going to be standing at the grave with a bouquet, okay?
"Sebastian, let's take a second"
"No I don't need to second guess it, I've had minutes at midnight running on candle light, and I have just enough energy for one more fight. It'll be what's right.
"No"
"You know these honor killing ain't nothing but sleeping snakes, ready to get their heads chopped off as soon as they wake"
"Sebastian, you ain't gonna change culture overnight"
"Maybe, but I can put up one more fight, goodnight"
These mountain winds take me back to your ghost again. It's a shame you didn't win, Sebastian.
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 6:25 PM UTC