Lie
in and out of sleep
eye to eyes
no sound.
Wondering what you're thinking
never asking
in case it's not what I'm thinking.
Apr 28, 2015
Apr 28, 2015 at 3:19 AM UTC
I don't remember much
because my memory is with you.
Trying to piece the days together has become an one thousand piece jigsaw,
when it use to be an 'ages 0-5' 12 piece.
My mind is blank and bland
as my days are short, but long.
Everyday I drift
and fall asleep
then wake feeling more blank.
My work all goes to a drink
which kills my anxiety
which held me back from being a bit of an *** hole.
But it's fun
and it helps me forget
so I can remember.
Aug 11, 2014
Aug 11, 2014 at 2:30 AM UTC
In a crowd of question mark faces and weak acquaintances
I tell my self I need someone, to be here, to make this enjoyable.
Though I prefer to be alone,
in a dark room where the only sound is the banging from the inside of my mind,
reminding me of everything I've done wrong
and that is wrong.
So I go
and sit on that floor of clusterfuck.
And when I am there,
I wish I wasn't alone.
Jun 8, 2014
Jun 8, 2014 at 6:56 AM UTC
My eyes are starting to adjust.
Slowly opening, as the light of unfamiliarity evolves into a familiar dark.
And my ears,
they jump to the sound of new conversation.
Quiche talking elders with lost words, soon to find a new home.
You could say we're getting on with our lives,
as we're getting older and our hair is getting shorter.
Moving on as I stay behind.
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 8:30 AM UTC
You use to tell me to come home.
I did.
We are now in the same town
and I miss you more than when we weren't.
I didn't think I could feel like this again
Like my being is filled with wet cement
and when it sets, I will be stuck to the ground
where you will walk over me
and i will whisper your name
and if you hear it
maybe you will remember that i was once part of your life
but nothing will change
because i am stuck here
for the rest of my life.
Mar 23, 2014
Mar 23, 2014 at 8:27 AM UTC
I don't think I can do this thing
That thing everyone longs for, dedicates their lives for, dies for.
I don't feel comfortable enough
Following paths ending where they start.
I don't like to chase, I can't keep up.
I'm shy,
Scared,
Disorientated.
When everyone judges you
Especially you
Days pass,
yet dreams stay the same.
I feel the same.
Reoccurring thoughts,
Making me walk in all directions.
Often going the wrong way, always getting lost
Won't you lead me?
One more path.
Will you take my hand?
I don't really want to come back
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 6:24 AM UTC
You are why I think
Uncontrollably
About everything wrong
Apparently
Unable to stop
Even if I try.
You are why I love.
You are why everything is wrong
In every possible outcome
And why it always will be.
You are why I'm lonely.
You are why I sit in the dark
And talk to myself
Or is somebody there?
I guess I'm talking to you now.
What was your name?
"Hi, you can call me Bee"
You were the reason I could clear my head
You were the reason I got out of bed
You were the reason I went for pointless walks in the middle of no where
You were the reason I made it home
I would stop you from fighting
You stopped me from hanging with Bee
You let me forget my thoughts
You were my best friend for 2 months.
You're not here, and the bad influence is back.
Feb 27, 2014
Feb 27, 2014 at 6:38 AM UTC
Mind melted on the kitchen floor.
Open the door and use it as a door mat.
I will join you,
and then I will join it.
Scrapped under shoes
separated throughout the world.
Which part is where?
Will it ever be whole?
A hollow body searches through a town that's changed.
And hasn't.
The weather changes as much as his moods.
And like the weather,
he wakes sunny
and falls cold.
I'm sorry I don't fully understand.
I'm sorry I'm scared.
I'm sorry I can't help.
I'm sorry all I want is your help.
And it was meant to be different.
Haven't been back a week,
and already I feel worse than when I left.
Feb 24, 2014
Feb 24, 2014 at 2:48 AM UTC
The fog is so thick it allows no view of what will come.
Only the present is visible.
And right now, the fog makes for dull days.
Maybe if I had a glimpse of sun, it would all start to clear.
Slowly but surely.
This weather seems quite familiar now though.
And if Mrs sun decides to show her face,
her anxiety would soon hide her away.
Shading behind clouds for days on.
Leaving the rain to poor down
and drag my inmates and I underground,
where we will dig and explore
multiple outcomes for few situations.
And after months of exploring,
we will return above
hoping to find new ground
but we are only greeted by the fog.
Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 2:05 PM UTC
I stay up late to think
and when I think, I feel sad
so I stay up late to feel sad.
I feel colder than the rain that enters through the holes in my shoes.
Tape won't even hold us.
Nightmares are more vivid the closer I am to leaving.
My dreams are ending
or will they begin again.
It's too late to be indecisive
and I am more scatterbrained than ever.
These are not real problems
and I'm sorry for complaining.
Jan 4, 2014
Jan 4, 2014 at 10:05 PM UTC