It's funny how i thought
i was good at hiding my feelings
but then strangers started asking me what was wrong
and why i looked so tired
and thats when i realized
you didn't care enough to notice
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 2:19 PM UTC
It's okay if I'm not the girl of your dreams
or the one you dance with at the prom
I just want to be the girl you think about 20 years from now
staring at your morning coffee
wishing that you hadn't poured so much milk in
because now it's too creamy
to resemble my dark brown locks of hair
or looking at the ocean
and having it remind you of the endless sea in my periwinkle color eyes
or walking by stores downtown on your way to work
knowing I would've loved that dress
I just want to be that girl
Feb 18, 2015
Feb 18, 2015 at 1:14 PM UTC
i. i will not compete with other people for your attention.
ii. i will not compete with other people for your affection.
iii. i will not compete with other people for your time.
iv. i will not compete with other people for your love.
v. i will not compete for you.
vi. you are not a prize, you are a person. you have agency. and no matter how fast i run, if you want me to win, i will; and if you don’t, i won’t. so, darling, i will not compete. if for you love is a chase, it’s not worth my victory.
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 4:17 PM UTC
i thought
that seeing my own bones
would let me love
the flesh that is my home;
so you’re right
this is not your fault,
but dear god,
how wonderful it would have been
if you had ever told me
to stop,
to stop trying to change
because you loved what was there;
how wonderful it would have been
if you had kissed my skin
and said you loved all of it,
boundlessly,
reverently;
instead
you gave a voice
to what was already in my head
every time you asked -
“will you really eat that?”
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 4:14 PM UTC
i miss
being hungover
from a single kiss;
i miss
how your smile
could make my world spin.
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 4:12 PM UTC
I’d like to think that you haven’t fully moved on from me.
and that my name is still prominent in your vocabulary.
That you think of me when you see my favorite book
or turn around when my voice seems to travel to your ears
Maybe your heart still misses a beat when someone asks about me.
And maybe I’m not the only one whose mind wanders back in time
over
and over
again.
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 4:09 PM UTC
You could ask him what he wants
He would say, her
You could ask me what i wanted
I would've said him
But wanting isn't enough
You can't ignore me
Avoid me
Distance yourself from me
But still say you want me
I'm trying to be happy now
I don't want you anymore
So don't say that I do
"You still think about me"
I do because you ruined me
I'm sorry your mistakes broke your heart and you blamed me
but you shattered me
through months of ignorance
on a year long journey to **** a girl
and keep your hands clean
When i put my faith in you
you were unfaithful
don't say you need me
when all i needed was you
and you ran away.
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 4:04 PM UTC
Remember that day in the furniture store?
We looked at pillows and chairs and dining room tables.
You promised me that we would come back and buy all that furniture for our tiny apartment.
You promised me forever.
And I should have told you what I was thinking.
I should have told you not to give promises
you couldn’t keep
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 3:37 PM UTC
Bad timing
Countless mistakes
Endless regrets
Too many tears
Insecurities
Excessive feelings
Blaming myself
Numerous ‘what ifs’
No closure
One year
One guy… who changed everything
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 3:34 PM UTC
I know you keep thinking that you were the only one that was broken but let me remind you that it must’ve actually been a pleasure to have only gotten your heart broken while my entire being and world got shattered in pieces when you made me insecure for being who I really was, when you made me feel guilty for trying to become more myself. When it was like you locked me up in your heart and I wasn’t allowed to leave it, making me feel isolated and fragile like that little girl I fought so hard to not become again.
So just because I didn’t cry my eyes out, just because I didn’t stay in bed for days or weeks; doesn’t mean I didn’t feel the pain you felt, if not a million times worse, because I felt that pain every night before I went to sleep and the person hurting me was still right there holding me like I was a prisoner in his ideal world.
Feb 15, 2015
Feb 15, 2015 at 3:32 PM UTC