You come around, unnaturally I turn my head.
These words are far from hidden.
But just like you, I can't put it to bed.
Rose in my cheeks, a skip in my heart, emotional body prison.
I feel it your rebuttal, I see it in your eyes.
Nostalgia more forgiving, conformity doesn't quite sit right.
I've lost the spark, but never more at home than by your side.
Mornings of coffee and grandeur swiftly become a bourbon filled night.
I take your hand, even in fear I know where we are going.
Your intentions are clear, emotionally grounded.
I can't stay in your eyes forever, although this feels slow motion.
You kiss me and its here my heart becomes swollen.
Mar 24, 2021
Mar 24, 2021 at 12:03 PM UTC
My need for you to love me far exceeds my ability to let you love me. I get in my own way, it's all I've ever known. I played this card so long I may never find my own home. In me, in you, and the desperation of two lovers. You're the rope that tied my binds, the graceful veil to hide my naive eyes. I always assumed there were others, just not enough for you to cross lines. I watch my light die in your eyes, the way we embrace like fall after summer highs. Longevity may be lost, but those elemental, your whole world, you cant easily toss. My heartache is the new beat. My pain the chorus as it repeats. You have my all so I've got nothing left, just a stupid boy who made his own bed.
Oct 5, 2020
Oct 5, 2020 at 4:19 PM UTC
Longer days and quicker nights blend together with subtle disconnect.
In the way you left a permanent imprint on the right side of my bed.
I slowly wait for what I don't really know. The feeling of safety in indecisive worries, hopefully a soft glow.
My light it shines in moments unplanned, instead of self confidence it's a gear turn cranked by hand.
You think you know me, but I've changed further than the time and distance we spend apart. I always love you but my heart hardens sometimes as I'm often alone in the dark.
I do believe absence makes the heart grow fonder, but cast away at sea for so long this man feels like an island and a rock with grooves smoothed out by ocean water.
Apr 5, 2018
Apr 5, 2018 at 4:47 AM UTC
One if by fire two if by sea, I travel far and wide to find the heart of me. Within the realms of earth and sky, grounded in conscience lifted by soul. In the longing to be whole I fell and lost the truth I seek.
One if by fire two if by sea, rivers run red this heart once shed every drop in that was humanity. My gut I lost trust in, these feelings play games. Semi circle i spin never finding justice in sin, is this my reality.
One if by fire two if by sea, forever I wait subtle smiles hide misery. Yearning for their touch. Knowing now this void I made no one could jump, independence I wanted inadvertently pushed everyone away inevitably now my crutch.
One if by fire two if by sea, I can't hold on un able to let go. Left in the past innocence to a future unknown. Subtle nostalgia brings wavering peace, like a night fueled by liquid passion, the mourning sun unable to let me grow, there is no easy release.
One if by fire two if by sea, I walk this road alone, no longer feeling the company. Great triumphs we made, through hardships we knew an unspoken bond. Now I must leave home we knew this all along. Always knowing now what it means to be a family, for a while there my brothers brought out the best of me.
One if by fire two if by sea, the end I find is still unknown to me. The effervescent water of love always in my veins. The incessant fire of hope slowly burns my bones the same. When full circle I leave this place the ashes I made not with out trace.
One if by fire two if by sea, my fire the sun that shines bright. This body of water luminescent under the moon light. When my day will end I become horizon colorful embodiment of earth and sky, where passion of the sun meets calming waters. This is where my soul will lye.
Sep 16, 2016
Sep 16, 2016 at 4:03 AM UTC
Though these moments unplanned and answers I'm not searching to find, there is never going to be a more absolute stillness, a more real truth than the way I feel in your eyes. Time and place won't ever matter, for any distance could cease to know, the warm shadow of your love will have my back wherever I may go. I could look to the stars in desperate semantics, but the wisdoms of an eternal sky can no longer reveal what I already know. I'm no longer a hopeless romantic. Though age difference and pressure of a consistently changing world could force us to twist and turn. The spark of uncertainty is a mere cowards joke, in comparison to my love for you, a real fire I let burn. This may not be forever, but as long as your mine I will do my best to show you how I feel. I'll take my time, eternity can last in a moment, I know my love for you is real. The patience and understanding you have for me, like you already know who i am. I don't always deserve, but unwavering, I know in my heart you will always be a good man. So in my time with you I'll do my best to learn and grow. Even with gentle wrinkles under your soft eyes and graying hairs your so beautiful to me, baby I just wanted to take a second and let you know.
Sep 16, 2016
Sep 16, 2016 at 4:00 AM UTC
Always running it seems a race with no finish line, just stop at every checkpoint last minute desperate attempts for what I don't know, maybe just someone to call mine. A brief moment I'm caught in your eyes, you see me, a certain truth in this moment I can't disguise. In the morning it's over your gone it's all but truth only beautiful lies. The circle unending I reach such highs, only vain attempts to comfort the unbearable lows, a constant internal struggle the only resemblance in between that just I feel the blows. I need to fly the way you lift me up just one more time, to feel in bliss things about myself things unseen but oh so real with you when I feel your kiss. Only ever attracting the company I keep not my good friends, just broken demons that fester within me. I look in your eyes but I can't find you, your face always changing, the consistency is just in the end myself I'm left blaming. In a desperate attempt at feeling whole, to feel like I'm breathing, I lose more of myself every time I let you grab hold, for I know now nothing can ever stay if it's made of gold. May I never finish this race, for now in the endpoint, I'm afraid alone I'll only ever find my place. Until then again in the familiarity of strangers I'll weaken as I grasp tighter for my own reality I can't embrace. Right now I'm broken and it seems for some time this won't change hard to feel supported when your shadow doesn't even want to stay.
Sep 16, 2016
Sep 16, 2016 at 3:55 AM UTC
Brown eyes, Brown eyes so tempting to the touch. But just to be lost in your eyes for a moment, more than a spark is lit all my senses electrified as I light up. Brown eyes, Brown eyes just the thought of your kiss. It's more than enough to send me floating away in a skyward ship. But not to worry you've got me tied up and set free at the same time, I'll always return to you in a whisp. Brown eyes, Brown eyes so dangerous to the core. When I imagine a life beside you, I couldn't think of anything I'd want more.
So Brown eyes , Brown eyes I hope you have a great day, just know that I'm falling in love with you so simply put and complicated that way. But I'll figure it all out remember I think about your Brown eyes everyday...
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 12:07 PM UTC
I wish you could feel the weightless intensity of my words, because the gravity of honest intentions only drown you in hurt . My love for you baby is timeless and pure, though ironically thru faults of my own the retardent I add only complicates things as your heart grows hard this cannot be cured. I love you more than you could ever now, far more than I have the ability to show. This doesn't help nor make things easier, I just can't hide my feelings anymore. I'm done being a people pleaser. Though my mind may have strayed, my body and my heart next to yours is the only place my head has laid. That scares the hell out of me, in a world where I already feel forgotten. The seed we planted was well on its way to blossom, but this elephant in the room, ****** on it overtime bandaids couldn't stop it from rotting. I could care less about others or ****** advances, as it was about a lost excitement in my heart. Just the idea of possibilities more than our relationship being stable as long as I keep up my responsibilities. I know your lucky to have someone who gets you and still wants you. But this feeling of good enough makes our life of comprises look empty and rough. We put an expiration date on what we wanted to be love. But all that got us was sterility, a routine check up with a cold unfamiliar glove. I don't know what the right thing is to say most of the time anymore. I wanted to drown in your love but not feel your rain. I had previously tried to test the waters in asking questions trying to find resolve just left me wading through unanswered lessons. You want me here and I don't for a second doubt your love. But the source of it I often contemplate if I should just unplug. In many ways we try our best to make it work, but if we're not moving forward standing still for so long my heart starts to hurt. I won't change you or uproot the ways in which your set, but I'm not really myself around you my soul in some sense of neglect. In many things we don't share interest and sometimes that's ok. But a love that last should be more than complaced. I love you with all my heart, but say what you want my eyes can see it's easier for you too when we are apart. Just hard for your heart to accept when it's time to go to bed alone in the dark. You could easily do much better than me, but I fear that better than nothing is why you ignore it all and take the rest of me. You are always there yet some distance away. Somewhere between land or sea and sky you lay. I may move toward you, yet distant you'll stay. Looking for the light that used to be in your eyes is like the horizon that way.
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 12:05 PM UTC
I'm lonely here behind this face, I'm lonely surrounded by memories of yesterday's. I don't want to be sad, but it's really all I know. I don't want to be sad but, for some reason I just hold on unable to move on and can't let go. I always look for answers with none left to be found. I always look for answers, but you can't reach for the sky when your heads always towards the ground. I listen and wait for your voice. Just one more time could my heart race, slow and steady now you wouldn't stay it's time we've run our course. So as I sit here and internally pace, Behind this crookid smile I'm lonely in this place. Looking for tomorrow's, I'm much to sad from yesterday's lonely lost in time and space
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 12:01 PM UTC
A journey long searching to find a light, in the this somewhat bitter world a safe reminder that it will all be alright, to lay my head down never more troubled with wars I can not fight. Looking high and low going to the places that I thought you might go, always searching and needing the closest shred of replacement for your warm comforting glow. I never realized in my search for you, you were with me the entire way, I never want to lose you but I know now you will always be guiding every move I make. I often feel like I'm missing your light a quiet reminder that your on your way, to blinded to see that your in the stars faithfully bringing me safety at night. Through thick and thin your lessons instilled in me but now I know the same light in your eyes I share to steer for me. I'll always love you intensity never wavers, when I think of you I won't be sad anymore living in your memory, as you head to the savior.
May 11, 2016
May 11, 2016 at 11:41 AM UTC