jeremiah-levi-robbins
I grew up without a lot of material things. I often gave up fun with friends and things I wanted and sometimes needed due to a lack of funds in my family. At a young age, I clung to reading to escape reality and expand beyond myself. At some point, I discovered writing. I have been writing poetry ever since as a way to cope and a way to express how I feel. It may be cheesy, it may be limited, it may be archaic in rhyme scheme. But, it's me.
I want to forget. But I just can’t
I don’t understand why the thoughts won’t leave my mind.
Like hornets disturbed, they swarm and stab at me
With vicious and vile stingers. Again. And again.
There’s no hiding, no swatting them away
Why can’t I just turn off the noise
Why won’t the memories leave me alone!
Go away! I can’t take the pain anymore
I don’t want to be trapped in the shackles of fate
Or branded by the irons of regret!
Please, leave me alone. I’ll do anything, anything
Anything! I’ll do whatever you want!
Let me go, let me survive. Make the pain stop
Make it stop!
Wait, yes, I can make it stop
Whatever pain registers will be brief.
It’s worth the pain, the risks. Yes! To leave this cell
Inside myself
And all I have to do is jump.
The whispers, the noise, the hornets, the SCREAMING
The stings, from the thoughts and the wind
Agonizing, MADDENING, and consuming
Then
Silence.
Mar 31, 2016
Mar 31, 2016 at 2:37 PM UTC
We wake up every morning, and muster on command
Zombies, thoughtless we submit
There are pleasantries, but no one really cares
We shuffle, shuffle, shuffle on
Everyone reports to their assigned rooms, or else
That punishment is far worse than the normal torture we face
For hours we are bombarded, brainwashed, indoctrinated
Then they see fit to let us eat.
But don’t mistake the cacophonous noise we make for joy
We just don’t know any better.
Afternoons, yard time. At least they give us that freedom,
Let us roam the broader extent of our cage, rather than
Confining us to a sullen corner of the kennel.
But even in this false freedom they make us believe, “Look what we do, for you.”
Sometimes we get visitors, then they make us dance and play
“Look how they dance for us, watch us pull the strings”
For we are well trained, or are now so lost in our own
Hopelessness and nightmarish existence that we no longer care
Don’t care what is real.
It’s easier not to think.
They crack the whip, we cringe. “Jump” they say
So we jump.
At last misery coils, hiding her venomous fangs
And we sleep, not to find true solace
But instead it is what we are told to do.
And we do what we are told to do.
Why? Because it is they who tell us to do it.
Now, the bell chimes
Again, already?
So we shuffle, shuffle, shuffle on our way
Round and round the cage
As the light of will fades.
Mar 31, 2016
Mar 31, 2016 at 2:18 PM UTC
If I could give you just one thing
One glimmer of hope in your despair
I'd want you to know, just how badly
I wish I could be there.
I know the things you're going through
And see the great depths of pain
Please trust me when I say to you
That sunshine follows after rain.
Don't think I mean to say it's easy
Or that these burdens soon shall pass
Unfortunately, the lot we've been dealt
Is like walking miles on broken glass.
It seems most days that you worry most
About putting these pressures on me
But please, remember, it's why I'm here
To deal with other's needs.
Since the day that I was born
You've watched and helped me grow
The depth of love and appreciation I have
I doubt you'll ever know.
You may believe it's still your job
To protect me from all alarm
But I swear to you with all I am
I won't allow you any harm.
No matter what more we must face
Together or apart
We'll face it head on, fearlessly
With one mind and one heart.
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 2:45 PM UTC
If I could take your pain away
And leave you happier and care free
I would.
If I could bear all your burdens
And fill your eyes with hope again
I would.
If I had to give up everything
My hope, my health, my friends, my wealth,
My life...
To give you a break,
I would.
I would do anything for you
No matter the consequences
I promise you, I would.
Because, I love you.
For you a thousand times.
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 2:40 PM UTC
I see their pain and their worries
Watch as their hope slowly fades away
They can't see the light anymore.
And I can't save them...
As I stand alone, hopeful,
I pray for some kind of miracle.
When the odds are this great
And the distance so massive
I can't bear it for them.
Dear God,
I wish I could bear it for them...
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 2:37 PM UTC
I can't sleep at night
And I can't focus during the day
I have too much to do and never enough time
But it's not my issues that haunt me
No matter what, I'll carry on
I can endure whatever may be thrown at me
It is not my own burdens that eat at me
Nor my own problems that erode my will
But the issues of others.
The simple fact is
I cannot bear their problems for them
Though I try.
And the ones I love, those I care for most
Are destroyed by what they must carry
So what keeps me up at night
Is knowing I am not enough
For them.
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 2:35 PM UTC
How do I tell an older sister who has all but given up
"Have hope"
How do I look at my younger siblings and explain
That mom and dad aren't coming back
How can I become a parent, before my time
And not turn into them
How do I bear their issues, along with mine
And do it for them
How can I protect them, raise them, and inspire them
If I am overwhelmed
How can I carry on.
Feb 25, 2016
Feb 25, 2016 at 2:32 PM UTC
Life is a struggle,
living is hard,
and the burdens we bear
bring us low.
But then you find,
one special person
who changes the world
and makes you wonder,
"Was I ever even
living at all?"
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 9:45 AM UTC
Time is one thing
I never have enough of.
Leaving me with things undone
or with late, red-eyed nights.
But one thing is certain
an undeniable truth:
no matter what should happen
or what I must do
the only constant of my day is
I'll always make time for you.
Jan 21, 2015
Jan 21, 2015 at 9:40 AM UTC
For you I would do anything
I would give you the world
But I can't
So I give you myself.
For you I would do anything
Give you all I have
But never dare ask
For anything in return.
For you I would do anything
But the question still remains
If I give you my soul
Who am I.
Nov 9, 2014
Nov 9, 2014 at 6:40 PM UTC