The only way to discover
the world's true Knowledge
is to suffer and beg for it,
otherwise when it jolts your head
you will think it is only
rotten fruit dropping
from the branches
of the tree of good and evil.
~mce
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 19, 2015 at 2:01 AM UTC
i don't know how to run
so i crawl
while you keep running
©IGMS
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 13, 2015 at 11:04 PM UTC
if only
the heart was made of
elastic materials
then just maybe
it will only bend
than
break
©IGMS
Sep 13, 2015
Sep 13, 2015 at 11:03 PM UTC
Tonight I lie awake,
My brain is feeding my latest mistakes.
I can't help but wonder why I wasn't enough,
I gave every ounce of myself and I tried to be tough.
I thought if I could just make you see the things I loved about myself that you would love them too.
You said you would,
that you did but you painted my most beautiful pieces blue.
You painted them an ugly shade,
You made them dark but still started to complain when they began to fade.
If you didn't want me I would've preferred that you didn't play pretend with me.
I'm not a young child and I was never very good at the game either, see.
Its incomprehensible as to why you felt the need to destroy me, to take me down along with everything in your path.
I stood there with open arms, with warm inviting touches, with passion for your mind and you met such things with wrath.
Any time, you could have walked away.
You could've spared me however you chose to stay.
So as dearly as you were held in my heart I'm rebuilding my self now that you've burned me to ashes.
So as dearly as you were held in my heart its just a matter of time before the salt dries to my lashes.
I was enough,
I was enough even you were not.
I was tough,
This is where a toxic love like ours should rot.
In the back of my brain,
maybe one day in the back of yours.
I hope one day you realize when you've become tame,
that it is impolite to cut someone's heart and leave open sores.
Sep 12, 2015
Sep 12, 2015 at 3:19 AM UTC
Today is the day I pick up the pieces.
In the following hours I will begin to unfold myself from the crumpled mess of paper you left me.
I will find beauty in the creases.
I will no longer carve into my legs the way your memory is carved into my delusional brain.
I will no longer reminisce on something that never really was,
I will focus on the parts where you left my mind in disarray.
I know in my lean heart that this is not something you do to the ones you love,
You do not bring insanity to the ones that try to save you,
You do not intoxicate them, cover with their unscathed skin, and leave their bones buried in mud.
You do not burn your rescuer.
You wreak of lighter fluid,
and in my sickened mind I concluded once more that food was poison.
My thoughts were a terrible escape to where there was only the stench of raw sewage.
I couldn't get past the smell,
I thought I'd never be able to swallow again for I was so nauseated.
My teeth were turning yellow, my throat was on fire, and in my ears the constant ringing of a bell.
I turned to a sack of weak calcium sticks waiting for an answer to why you robbed me,
I blamed myself for so long because I thought I caused a misunderstanding.
No I was blind but now I see.
I will love myself in all the places our friendship forgot,
I'll love myself better than you claimed too in ways you didn't know how to.
I will never stop.
I will say only kind things to my body and I will only see the beautiful things in my mind.
I will treat myself well and a different outcome I am destined to find.
I deserve real.
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 8, 2015 at 1:47 AM UTC
All I craved was reciprocation,
Some type of love with illustration.
You were like ******* for the quite mind, stimulation.
You were like tar for my already degraded lungs,
Suffocation.
You were at one time an idea, a simple innovation.
Suddenly you were the only thing keeping my heart from freezing, you were my insulation.
Sep 8, 2015
Sep 8, 2015 at 1:18 AM UTC
You found me a shell of a girl,
all smiles and laughter.
You found me a gloomy girl,
who mastered her guise.
You found me an ambitious girl,
struggling to lift herself up.
You found me a fearful girl,
who trusted your intentions.
You found me a guarded girl,
who was letting down her walls.
You found me a happy girl,
who was finally feeling wanted.
You found me a mysterious girl,
retracted because your apparent disinterest.
You found me a tragic girl,
saddened by your withdrawal.
You lost me a fantasy girl,
hurt by your abandonment.
You almost had the girl,
you had her so close it hurt,
then you left her in pieces.
How poetic that the way you found her,
was the way you'd leave her.
Sep 6, 2015
Sep 6, 2015 at 3:49 AM UTC
In a relationship, there should never be a time where your partner says "But if you loved me, you'd ________". Flat out. A healthy relationship is about giving yourself to that person, self giving, when you feel ready. A selfish partner expects you to do certain things out of love for them. I'm not explicitly talking about *** but it's in between the lines.
A selfish love is one that takes and takes but doesn't completely give back. You give yourself up to a selfish partner because you think it's going to satiate them, satisfy their needs. But it never does, does it? If you set boundaries and your partner doesn't accept them -- leave.
A self giving love is one that gives patiently and doesn't necessarily take. It's a love that constantly seeks permission where permission is needed. You communicate to express how you feel, openly and honestly. If you set boundaries and your partner tries their best to accept them because they love you as a person -- stay.
Sep 6, 2015
Sep 6, 2015 at 3:47 AM UTC
Its a raw sort of emotion to be so mentally exhausted that you start become physically fatigued,
To give up on yourself on account of the fact that you are a burden to even the ones who swore they believed.
You are a burden to yourself,
A nuisance to every one else.
Who wants to deal with someone that lacks the capacity to cope,
What do you do now that everyone has left and you're at the end of your ropes?
I pray one day that I remember who I used to be,
Before you embedded yourself in my blood and stole my sanity away from me.
I hope some night I will easily fall into slumber,
And I hope that when I do that I do not still wake to thoughts that sound like thunder.
I crave for the moment I can stand my own
reflection,
When my goals and dreams return to me and I have some sort of direction.
I will be here waiting for the day I save myself with some sort of solution,
Until then I'll hold myself in search for this chapters conclusion.
Sep 6, 2015
Sep 6, 2015 at 3:34 AM UTC
I'm a cigarette.
Your a chain smoker.
I had my five minutes of fun.
Light me up, smoke me, put me out.
Sep 2, 2015
Sep 2, 2015 at 4:56 PM UTC