You are so intoxicating
I am already an addict
Hopelessly craving your kiss
Anxiously waiting for your
Lips to touch my skin
And then I am lost
My brain is tripping
On the sensation
And all the feelings that accompany your lips
When you leave
I count down the hours
Until I will see you again
Already lusting for the next fix
Of you and everything you are
Wanting for the rush of emotions
Coursing through my veins with unequaled passion
Flooding my brain with impossibly beautiful scenarios
Oct 7, 2020
Oct 7, 2020 at 12:59 AM UTC
That day was very overwhelming. So many people to meet and new things to learn. I was scared, but excited because literally anyone I met had the potential of being my friend and any boy could be my future husband, just walking around. Not knowing yet that I existed.
You groaned when you saw my twangy taste in music.
You said this radio station didn't play that.
Oct 7, 2020
Oct 7, 2020 at 12:58 AM UTC
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."
Ah, if only
If only sentences floated out of mouths
Through ears and then disappeared
Evaporated into the atmosphere
Like a foggy morning that the sun burns away
Long forgotten by ten am
But instead, they linger
Like smog overtaking a city
Consuming light
Choking out beauty
Words, turning to acid
Burning themselves into me
Seared into my flesh
My bones are sticks
My heart a stone
When we die
We're all alone
Oct 7, 2020
Oct 7, 2020 at 12:58 AM UTC
I don’t really care for cigarettes
I grew up with asthma
So the idea of anything affecting
My lungs is
Unappealing at best
But watching you light up
Inhaling that smoke
Tasting it on your beard
It’s intoxicating
Oct 6, 2020
Oct 6, 2020 at 11:20 PM UTC
In my dreams you’re just as unattainable as in my waking life. But at least in my dreams I can touch you.
Oct 6, 2020
Oct 6, 2020 at 10:55 PM UTC
I think about you
Quite often, actually
Dreaming of what it would be like
To be together
I mean, literally dreaming
You’re in my dreams all the time
Just this morning
You were there
We were sitting in a crowd
On bleachers
And I was hold your hand
Your entire arm, actually
I wouldn’t let go
Because I had finally gotten you
And your skin was soft
So soft
It felt just like it does in real life
Those beautiful times I could touch you
It’s been years
And my dreams are still this vivid
I don’t really understand what that means
But it makes me feel...
Sadness
Loss
Comfort
Joy
A million conflicting ideas
Because every dream is so real
But in every dream we don’t end up together
And somehow even my unconscious mind
Knows that that must be how it will always be
Never quite together
At least for now
Oct 6, 2020
Oct 6, 2020 at 10:53 PM UTC
Rilke is wrong
Life isn't right
There is too much pain
Too much hurt
Not enough light
The darkness consumes
It cannot be beat
One must just stand all alone
Shaking from head down to feet
He has to fight the outside
To improve the within
The bleakness is heavy
His strength is wearing thin
How much longer can he fight
To feel goodness and warmth
When wrong seems so easy
Cold, evil winds blow in from the north
Chilled to the bone
From a murderous gust
He digs deep in his brain
To remember to trust
Memories spring to life
The blackness fades to grey
His face smiles a bit
And suddenly, it is not such a horrible day
His soul begins to warm
He envisions a time
When someone picked him up so high
His spirit continues to climb
All darkness is gone now
The gloomy shadow has passed
Sunshine has replaced it
Out it has been cast
It is not finished forever
This he surely knows
But next time he will be ready
To stand firm until over it blows
Life may not be right
But perhaps it's not wrong
He realizes this now
And right now
He is immeasurably strong
May 18, 2016
May 18, 2016 at 2:22 AM UTC
I don't think you did it on purpose
But as we sat and ate and talked
You weren't sitting across from me
It was just a slight angle to the right
But it made everything feel different
Like we really have broken apart
May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016 at 7:02 PM UTC
You're right
I've been selfish
I've been keeping Matthew
All to myself
Hoarding his affection
Storing up his kisses all over my skin
Willing myself to remember every sweet thing he says
So if I'm sad or lonely
I just have to search my brain a little bit
To feel better
Because he does that so well
He makes me feel better
And happy
And cared for
And loved
I think I'm making him feel those things too
And I want you guys to know
I don't want you to think this is some
Silly fling that I don't care about
I care
I care so so much
I want to show you
But not right now
Right now, I am trying to remember what it feels like
To be genuinely happy
And cared for
And loved
So, I'm sorry for being selfish with your friend
I just don't want this overwhelming joy to end
May 4, 2016
May 4, 2016 at 1:53 AM UTC
I hold on too long
Even after something is long dead and gone
I sit, clutching the ashes
Desperately trying to force them back
Into what used to be
May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 11:45 PM UTC