reading my old poems make me so sad
because it's only been a year
and I feel just as ******
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 9:09 PM UTC
I'm tired of feeling so alone
I give and I give and I give and I give
And all I hope for is 75 back.
And I can't even get 25.
I'm tired of constantly feeling used
Friendship, relationship, family.
people are only around when it benefits them
So I guess I've figured out my purpose in life
Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 9:04 PM UTC
still craving happiness
still craving excitement
im happy with myself
im just not happy with the things that are around me
Nov 23, 2013
Nov 23, 2013 at 11:19 AM UTC
yes
(maybe) i do want to **** myself
yes
(maybe) i hesitate
because I’m too scared
yes
(maybe) i’m too scared
of the pain it might cause (me)
but
(maybe) it’ll be less painful
than feeling like a disappointment all the time
(maybe) a little scar on my wrist
might be prettier than my…
Nov 17, 2013
Nov 17, 2013 at 10:12 AM UTC
you miss childhood so much you try dressing like you would if you were seven again.
sneakers and frilly socks.
big t-shirts and messy hair, because you’ve stopped caring about perfect hair.
you don’t mind getting your knees ***** or scabs on your shins.
those pains don’t make you flinch.
those pains don’t talk to you at night.
those pains don’t hurt like the hurt you’ve really felt.
the type of hurt that can’t be pin pointed or fixed with copious amounts of Neosporin.
you don’t worry about how you’ll feel in the morning until the morning comes.
you bite the skin off the tips of your fingers like your aiming for the bone.
because the stress and pain hits you bone deep.
bone deep.
its almost romantic sounding.
but isn’t being so broken such a romantic thing anymore?
sad music doesn’t even phase you.
its all you know. instrumentals lined with tiny violins and crying cellos.
you lay back in the grass and close your eyes. you try forgetting about the city surrounding you. the heat rises from the pavement and grips your lungs like my hands grip the small of your neck. the sun beats down on you like you owe it money.
but you don’t sweat.
this is the small stuff.
ice coffee and a bagel with cream cheese.
start your day happy.
fall apart at the end.
repeat. things get better.
then they get worse.
three months of total bliss for three months of total ****
thats the way life works right?
it always gets better though.
be still.
Nov 17, 2013
Nov 17, 2013 at 3:31 AM UTC
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to dance with you again.
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 9:47 PM UTC
I just want to feel special
I want to feel wanted
but I feel neither.
Oct 24, 2013
Oct 24, 2013 at 9:26 PM UTC
I've been trying to figure out how to say this,
but it's really surprising ....
this feeling.
It's actually kind of,
exhilarating .
**I fell back in love with myself today.**
Oct 19, 2013
Oct 19, 2013 at 1:57 PM UTC
I don't like the memories
because the tears come out so easily,
and once again i break my promise.
the promises i make to myself.
its a constant battle
a war between
remembering and forgetting
Oct 14, 2013
Oct 14, 2013 at 11:01 PM UTC
The Japanese say you have three faces.
The first face, you show to the world.
The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family.
The third face, you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are.
Oct 14, 2013
Oct 14, 2013 at 10:51 PM UTC