jaz - Hello Poetry

I guess it's nice to know That you were watching all along. But it's also kinda sad to know You did nothing at all.

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Mar 2, 2014

Mar 2, 2014 at 1:21 PM UTC

jaz

What were you looking for?

I guess it's nice to know That you were watching all along. But it's also kinda sad to know You did nothing at all.

4

I wish I could hold you forever, Wrap you in my wanting arms, But yet I do know that is selfish, And my greed will only harm. Vividly I remember, The times you shelter me, From the fear of the world And the fear of man, You save me when I flee. You'd curl your arms around mine own And hug them up real tight, You'd give a squeeze to my shoulder there And say that it's alright. You'd sometimes whisper really soft And speak those soothing words, You'd pat my head and stare at me And smile right afterwards. Is it much too much to ask For just one little hug? Because I really miss you, For a very long while now, Cursed with memories of Your hug.

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Feb 13, 2014

Feb 13, 2014 at 8:43 AM UTC

jaz

I Miss Your {Hug}

I wish I could hold you forever, Wrap you in my wanting arms, But yet I do know that is selfish, And my greed will only harm. Vividly I remember, The times you shelter me, From the fear of the world And the fear of man, You save me when I flee. You'd curl your arms around mine own And hug them up real tight, You'd give a squeeze to my shoulder there And say that it's alright. You'd sometimes whisper really soft And speak those soothing words, You'd pat my head and stare at me And smile right afterwards. Is it much too much to ask For just one little hug? Because I really miss you, For a very long while now, Cursed with memories of Your hug.

23

If this is what you want, I'll do it. I'll play your little game, Try to ignore your little face, Wipe you off completely... If this is what you want, I'll do it. Or at least try.

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Feb 12, 2014

Feb 12, 2014 at 6:18 AM UTC

jaz

Tryin —

If this is what you want, I'll do it. I'll play your little game, Try to ignore your little face, Wipe you off completely... If this is what you want, I'll do it. Or at least try.

8

I've trapped myself in a cage, A prison by my own hands And don't worry, it is free will, The bars are just like strands. The metal replaced by rubber But definitely made opaque, That part's really important: It hides all that is fake. I've wrapped myself up tight In these beautiful illusions But hope is just a mirage, you see, And you just a delusion.

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Feb 10, 2014

Feb 10, 2014 at 9:33 AM UTC

jaz

Not Really There

I've trapped myself in a cage, A prison by my own hands And don't worry, it is free will, The bars are just like strands. The metal replaced by rubber But definitely made opaque, That part's really important: It hides all that is fake. I've wrapped myself up tight In these beautiful illusions But hope is just a mirage, you see, And you just a delusion.

12

Sometimes I wonder if you'd notice If I was gone.

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Feb 9, 2014

Feb 9, 2014 at 7:52 AM UTC

jaz

From the Face of the Earth

Sometimes I wonder if you'd notice If I was gone.

2

Honestly at this point of time, I just have two words: **** you.

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Feb 8, 2014

Feb 8, 2014 at 9:46 AM UTC

jaz

Now

Honestly at this point of time, I just have two words: **** you.

3

The last words you said Still ring in my head: Protect me? What could you have done? And it's sad. Because it's true. I wouldn't have known What to do.

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Feb 7, 2014

Feb 7, 2014 at 10:03 AM UTC

jaz

Just a Worrywart

The last words you said Still ring in my head: Protect me? What could you have done? And it's sad. Because it's true. I wouldn't have known What to do.

7

You say that she's becoming stronger but All I see is her becoming more Closed up. And maybe I'm scared, yeah. Because I've never been one to Open closed doors. I'm always just waiting outside. And that's probably not enough.

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Feb 4, 2014

Feb 4, 2014 at 5:13 PM UTC

jaz

[Closed Doors]

You say that she's becoming stronger but All I see is her becoming more Closed up. And maybe I'm scared, yeah. Because I've never been one to Open closed doors. I'm always just waiting outside. And that's probably not enough.

8

Every night I lay here on my bed just Staring at the ceiling while my mind races, Thoughts in my head constantly ringing your name Whether you're okay, whether you're alive, Whether you still maybe hopefully remember me. Every night I lay here on my bed just Tugging at the blankets while my tears flow Because maybe I had another flashback or Because my creative mind thought of another nightmare where you die Over and over and over again. I am gripped with fear and my breathing quickens again. I worry constantly about you. Every night I lay here on my bed just Tossing and turning because I Just can't sleep. I roll around in bed but all these thoughts fill my head. Sometimes I wonder if you know that I care for you. And inside, I know you don't. Because I never plucked up the ******* courage to Tell you straight to your face that I ******* care and that I really love you. I pray every day that I don't go school and the principal says that We need to have one minute of silence because You died. You jumped. You left me. Sometimes I wonder if you forgot the promise. That you'd leave me here all alone. Sometimes I wonder if you still consider me your best friend. Because you've always been mine and still are. What matters is that I'm in your heart and you're in mine. But I don't really know where I am anywhere now. I'm sorry if you got mad that I overdosed. I'm sorry if I added on to your burdens. I'm sorry that I'm never there to protect you or care. I'm sorry. I really am.

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Feb 4, 2014

Feb 4, 2014 at 12:09 PM UTC

jaz

Every Night...

Every night I lay here on my bed just Staring at the ceiling while my mind races, Thoughts in my head constantly ringing your name Whether you're okay, whether you're alive, Whether you still maybe hopefully remember me. Every night I lay here on my bed just Tugging at the blankets while my tears flow Because maybe I had another flashback or Because my creative mind thought of another nightmare where you die Over and over and over again. I am gripped with fear and my breathing quickens again. I worry constantly about you. Every night I lay here on my bed just Tossing and turning because I Just can't sleep. I roll around in bed but all these thoughts fill my head. Sometimes I wonder if you know that I care for you. And inside, I know you don't. Because I never plucked up the ******* courage to Tell you straight to your face that I ******* care and that I really love you. I pray every day that I don't go school and the principal says that We need to have one minute of silence because You died. You jumped. You left me. Sometimes I wonder if you forgot the promise. That you'd leave me here all alone. Sometimes I wonder if you still consider me your best friend. Because you've always been mine and still are. What matters is that I'm in your heart and you're in mine. But I don't really know where I am anywhere now. I'm sorry if you got mad that I overdosed. I'm sorry if I added on to your burdens. I'm sorry that I'm never there to protect you or care. I'm sorry. I really am.

37

I am angry. Very angry. And I don't even know Why but Reading everything Absorbing everything Feeling everything I feel extremely mad. I feel the need to put a hole in the wall. I feel the need to bang my head so hard it splits up Nicely in the center. I feel the urge to tear up the room. I'm angry. Very angry. **** it, I don't want to be destructive again. I can't afford to be. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't be bad again.

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Feb 4, 2014

Feb 4, 2014 at 10:29 AM UTC

jaz

Turning Bad Again

I am angry. Very angry. And I don't even know Why but Reading everything Absorbing everything Feeling everything I feel extremely mad. I feel the need to put a hole in the wall. I feel the need to bang my head so hard it splits up Nicely in the center. I feel the urge to tear up the room. I'm angry. Very angry. **** it, I don't want to be destructive again. I can't afford to be. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't be bad again.

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