I’ve always said that things happen for a reason. Most times I never understand as to why the reason is what it is… She came into my life just as when the leaves were falling and I hope with her that everything I have learned in the past years will make sense and become useful. I don’t believe to have encountered something-no someone, that is so simple it makes one think of the complexities of how can she “be”, how can she “exist”, in simpler terms… I use to think a person like her couldn’t exist, but the thing is she doesn’t just exist as herself. She exists as the constant pulse in my wrists, the tingles throughout my body that makes my hair stand on ends, the brush strokes in a famous painting, the flowers in the crevices of the sidewalk, the words that poets write about, the faith that someone has in their religion, the truth in a victim's eyes, and the glow upon a pregnant woman’s face. She exists in more than just these simple things. However, she is a person. She came into my life and… The past years of dealing with heartbreak, manipulation, mental abuse, not being enough, and the confusion. It all makes sense now as to why those things have happened. I’ve met a person, her, and I have seen my morals change along with my mindset since meeting her. No longer do I think so negatively about situations, how can I when she’s in my life. No longer do I crave for anybody’s attention, I only crave hers. No longer do I care about someone’s day, other than hers. No longer do I have an attachment to my past, but I hope to have an attachment to my future, with her… I might be insane to think that a person like her exists, but I would also be foolish to not notice… She exists in everything I see to be beauty, but when I see her… There are no words to describe the vision of ecstasy that I am looking at. The phrase, “she took my breath away”, does not even compare to explain either. Seeing her is so surreal, I am left speechless. To have no words to describe seeing a person like that, how can you prove that they exist? You can’t, all you have is my word. My spoken word.
Oct 25, 2016
Oct 25, 2016 at 2:41 PM UTC
Mom never said love would be an addiction
Dad never said love would stop your train of thought
Mom never said love would take away your breath
Dad never said love would blind you from the truth
Mom never said love would make you unable to live alone
Dad never said love would make you do crazy things
Mom never said love would make you think less of yourself.
Dad never said love would make you give your all
Mom never said love would take away your sense of being.
Dad never said… love would lead you to think of suicide
My parents never warned me about love.
They never said it could **** and oh god is it killing me.
May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016 at 2:39 PM UTC
I want you to want me.
With raw, unweavering power, I want you to want me.
I want my scent, my voice, to dance whimsically into your senses.
I want my face, my body, to creep into your memories.
I want you to want me as if your very life is dependant upon my touch.
I want you to want me as if you were addicted to the taste of my lips.
I want you to want me in the way that I'm always wanting you.
I want you to want me in the way that I never stop thinking about you.
I want you to want me with a passion that burns hotter than hellfire itself.
I want you to want me with needs more intense than the wind and rain that falls from the heavans.
I want you to want me.
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 2:49 PM UTC
I dream of a composed future
Of better composition than this rhyme
One where my eyes ignite at the sight
Of opportunity to bring forth old time
And to replace each painful breath with
Another's aspiration, who's be similar to mine
I dream of a collected future
Better still than this collection of lines
One where I only hear peace like
In nearby fields, where
Another can gather this rationale
So may his fingers be with hers
intertwined
I dream of a fulfilled future
For it's merely half full, at this time
One with the sensation of
Elation, relief and no condemnation
Solitude with her, from the past
Simplicity making this last, the
Serenity within that they both share
I dream of a future, I know that isn't there.
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 2:49 PM UTC
Theres darkness coming,
It's fast and swallowing everything whole.
It surrounded me,
But I'm still here.
Why?
After continuous thinking,
I realized.
It's swallowing memories and emotions,
Not the people.
Her smile, her laugh, her beautiful blue eyes.
The way she pouts when she's annoyed;
All being erased from my memory.
The warm feeling that she left,
Being erased and replaced by
A cold and haunting force.
This enemy,
This fiend,
This killer,
This darkness -
Is depression.
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 2:48 PM UTC
I thought love meant
Butterflies in your stomach
Your heart skipping heartbeats
Or a faster rate for that matter
Being mesmerized by your significant other
Watching movies together
Late night conversations
Stealing kisses every now and then
Staring at them and get caught looking
Cuddling and holding each other's hands
Enjoying the moment even when the future is scary
But love came out to be different from all of that
Love is letting all of those go
When I thought it meant everything to him
When all of it meant nothing at all
When I thought I was his everything or even "something"
But no
I am nothing
What we had was nothing
What I thought we felt
Turns out to be what I felt
I
No "We"
No "Us"
None
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 2:48 PM UTC
my two best friends that have been there since i was 10
They are the kind of friends that you want to leave, but they always are there
anxiety is what saved my life, while depression almosted killed me
i want both of them to leave, it's either one leave and the other becomes unbearable
i wish i was alone, but not alone in my own head.
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 2:41 PM UTC
She had a dark soul,
That brought out the galaxies in her eyes,
And every time she looked up at me,
It was if I began to float up into her skies,
On my way up,
Her delicate cool breeze sent chills up my spine,
But I never understood why all I felt was warmth,
When she softly pressed her lips against mine,
When I'm with her, everything freezes,
I seem to forget all concepts of time,
All I want to do is dive deeper,
So to new heights I climb,
I'm intrigued by her unknown,
The places no one has touched before,
The darkest corners that she keeps hidden,
The ones she tries so hard to ignore,
The longer I spend exploring,
The more her universe draws me in,
And the more I stay mesmerized,
When I gently trace the constellations
That surface on her pale skin,
She says she feels numb,
From years of keeping within herself,
Weightless and empty,
But I know she's just shutting out all the hurt,
Isolated and lonely,
I want to always be with her and for what it's worth,
I don't think all the gravity in the world,
Would be strong enough to pull me back down to earth,
I want to be enveloped by everything that she is,
All my fragmented parts suspended in her infinite bliss,
But she warned me that she let go of her heart long ago,
And now it's lightyears away,
No matter how hard I tried I could never catch up,
So I guess I was never really meant to stay.
Jan 26, 2016
Jan 26, 2016 at 2:35 PM UTC
I lost myself
The demons took over
I couldn't stop crying
Each of my wounds were open once again
They ripped them apart showing them to everyone
They laughed in my head saying how pathetic I was to fall for another girl
No one is suppose to love me back
No one is suppose to deal with the madness I call my thoughts, or the insanity I call my mind
No one as perfect as you is suppose to be with someone like me
Now that's insanity
But I have you and I'm trying really hard to not scare you away with the battle wounds I now posses
Not the ones that are on arms but the ones you can see through my eyes
You can see the regret and pain in them from past choices
I don't want you to leave
The thoughts are quiet when you're around and the demons leave me alone
It's like they know I can only be happy around you
And they don't want to disturb that happiness
I use to say living inside my mind was safer because it felt like home
I was wrong
I've never felt safer in anything else than in your arms
You're my home, and I don't want you to leave
Jan 21, 2016
Jan 21, 2016 at 1:50 PM UTC