jason-s - Hello Poetry

I can't help it No matter where in my heart I may look, there you are You may not think it but you are too good to me Our differences mean nothing in the torrent of our similarities We are not friends, not like most friends There is nothing superficial about us I can still feel you in my arms I still remember that look of excitement on your face when we ran into each other unexpectedly I still remember everything The conversations, the stories, the looks Everywhere we went, every sight we saw, every frustrated word, happy face, or sad look I am sorry often that it wasn't enough I am sorry that I lost you, though I am never lost to you How can I mean so much to you when I feel so small? A dust mite in the presence of God, a field mouse in the presence of you Would that you were a cat, come to devour me But no, you lift me up So much easier it would have been If you had only given me a reason to hate But no, I can only love you I can only love I can't help but feel something missing in my life Though God makes me whole I miss you still, my warmth made less in your absence

0

Dec 24, 2012

Dec 24, 2012 at 9:56 AM UTC

jason-s

Rememory

I can't help it No matter where in my heart I may look, there you are You may not think it but you are too good to me Our differences mean nothing in the torrent of our similarities We are not friends, not like most friends There is nothing superficial about us I can still feel you in my arms I still remember that look of excitement on your face when we ran into each other unexpectedly I still remember everything The conversations, the stories, the looks Everywhere we went, every sight we saw, every frustrated word, happy face, or sad look I am sorry often that it wasn't enough I am sorry that I lost you, though I am never lost to you How can I mean so much to you when I feel so small? A dust mite in the presence of God, a field mouse in the presence of you Would that you were a cat, come to devour me But no, you lift me up So much easier it would have been If you had only given me a reason to hate But no, I can only love you I can only love I can't help but feel something missing in my life Though God makes me whole I miss you still, my warmth made less in your absence

24

Today was wonderful, but you weren't here... Today is great, and bright, and yet you are not here... I left you somewhere, my heart knows where... I do not remember the sound of your voice, or the feel of your hair, your hand, your body... I see your picture and wonder, knowing it isn't you I see... Capture the light, capture the sea, capture my heart... I so suddenly saw you, wanted to know who you are... Fading from my heart, I no longer see... Where are your words to ease my hurt? Where is your voice to soothe this burning, terrible burning, inside? Where are your hands to stop the bleeding, to hold my heart safe? Where has my heart gone, that it would so heal? What is my love, that it would so roam? I am fine, but you are not here... I do well, but you are not here... I am more whole than ever, but you are not here... Perhaps I never needed you at all...

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Dec 4, 2012

Dec 4, 2012 at 11:41 PM UTC

jason-s

Roan

Today was wonderful, but you weren't here... Today is great, and bright, and yet you are not here... I left you somewhere, my heart knows where... I do not remember the sound of your voice, or the feel of your hair, your hand, your body... I see your picture and wonder, knowing it isn't you I see... Capture the light, capture the sea, capture my heart... I so suddenly saw you, wanted to know who you are... Fading from my heart, I no longer see... Where are your words to ease my hurt? Where is your voice to soothe this burning, terrible burning, inside? Where are your hands to stop the bleeding, to hold my heart safe? Where has my heart gone, that it would so heal? What is my love, that it would so roam? I am fine, but you are not here... I do well, but you are not here... I am more whole than ever, but you are not here... Perhaps I never needed you at all...

17

I wish I could hold your hand again. I miss that. I miss the way we spark, the way our energies dance together, like two clouds playing tag in the wind. Do you remember how it feels? Do you remember, at the stone circle, hand touching, bodies leaned in, and the rush we felt? Do you remember me? The truth of me, impossibly in tune with the truth of you; impossible to name but forever ingrained. Do you remember the feeling of finding something impossible to find, impossible to define, and just letting it be, not worrying about the label. Do you remember what it feels like to hold my hand? Do you remember what it felt like, hands together, the tremors we felt together? The impossibility that someone could know so well without knowing? Do you remember... I forgot... I forgot the feel of your hand in mine; how it felt to have you there at my side. I forgot in sadness the peace we had. I forgot in anger what it meant to live the impossible. I forgot, in the hurt, the joy of just being... of trusting... I remember now... the hurt, the pain... it split me apart... In healing, I remember the peace... In healing, I remember the laughing, the smiles.... I remember... "hello laady!" In healing, I remember the power, the sparks... In healing, I remember... late night drives and wind mills never seen... just keep talking and never get bored... I remember you... and I remember me... Our friendship that must always be... a bond stronger than we could be, alone...

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Nov 1, 2012

Nov 1, 2012 at 1:00 AM UTC

jason-s

Sparks in my Hand

I wish I could hold your hand again. I miss that. I miss the way we spark, the way our energies dance together, like two clouds playing tag in the wind. Do you remember how it feels? Do you remember, at the stone circle, hand touching, bodies leaned in, and the rush we felt? Do you remember me? The truth of me, impossibly in tune with the truth of you; impossible to name but forever ingrained. Do you remember the feeling of finding something impossible to find, impossible to define, and just letting it be, not worrying about the label. Do you remember what it feels like to hold my hand? Do you remember what it felt like, hands together, the tremors we felt together? The impossibility that someone could know so well without knowing? Do you remember... I forgot... I forgot the feel of your hand in mine; how it felt to have you there at my side. I forgot in sadness the peace we had. I forgot in anger what it meant to live the impossible. I forgot, in the hurt, the joy of just being... of trusting... I remember now... the hurt, the pain... it split me apart... In healing, I remember the peace... In healing, I remember the laughing, the smiles.... I remember... "hello laady!" In healing, I remember the power, the sparks... In healing, I remember... late night drives and wind mills never seen... just keep talking and never get bored... I remember you... and I remember me... Our friendship that must always be... a bond stronger than we could be, alone...

19

The town is covered in thick fog. Walking through town, a familiar feeling of isolation begins to crawl up my spine. Walking through the mist-filled shadows reminds me of something: an image, a powerful thought. The sounds and phased images of a multitude of vehicles continue to pass me by, ignorant of my presence and blind to the world around them so fixated are they on their destinations. The bleeding soul of this dying world is unknown to the masses that spell our seemingly inevitable destruction. There, it sounded; the tones of a local church bell. To some a call to worship; to others, a telling of the time; but, to most of the mist-shrouded inhabitants of this town, the noise is lost completely. To a man devoid of hope, the toll of the bell is a mere reminder of all things lost. To my eyes, I see people falling, walking from nothing, through nothing, to nothing. It is true, there is no meaning in any of it aside from God. The lights shining through the mist only illuminate so far. The more lights we have, the easier to see. Lights of love, why not shine?

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Oct 24, 2012

Oct 24, 2012 at 1:21 PM UTC

jason-s

Lights of Love

The town is covered in thick fog. Walking through town, a familiar feeling of isolation begins to crawl up my spine. Walking through the mist-filled shadows reminds me of something: an image, a powerful thought. The sounds and phased images of a multitude of vehicles continue to pass me by, ignorant of my presence and blind to the world around them so fixated are they on their destinations. The bleeding soul of this dying world is unknown to the masses that spell our seemingly inevitable destruction. There, it sounded; the tones of a local church bell. To some a call to worship; to others, a telling of the time; but, to most of the mist-shrouded inhabitants of this town, the noise is lost completely. To a man devoid of hope, the toll of the bell is a mere reminder of all things lost. To my eyes, I see people falling, walking from nothing, through nothing, to nothing. It is true, there is no meaning in any of it aside from God. The lights shining through the mist only illuminate so far. The more lights we have, the easier to see. Lights of love, why not shine?

12

I don't know why I ever came back. A voice in the dark whispered my purpose, telling me there were things to be done. I fell into a hole, I made a mistake, I opened my heart when it should have been dead. I met you, and there you were, inside my heart. Why would you be there, just to break it? All things are meaningless now, my soul is ruptured. Why can't you leave my heart alone? I pretend to be okay, but I am not okay. Every moment is a struggle to keep breathing, every moment I die more inside. Every moment I lose more of me. You liar, you coward. I made myself a fool, and you watched; sad, but too scared to stop me. More and more I opened my heart, not noticing... you were curious, but never wanted it. You read it like a sick tabloid, like a disinterested glutton, devouring my soul only to ***** it into the trash. If only I could leave the world, leave it in it's sinister misery. What pathetic creatures we are; mindless worms feeding on our own filth. Leave my heart, leave my soul, leave me alone... Again I returned, over and over, and again you sated your hunger for my pain. I saw it in your eyes, you knew how much I hurt; but I let you do it, I let you break me, over and again. For my love I gave my soul; until the day you broke it. The line was crossed, my heart was closed, and you lost me. It was my turn then, to break your heart. You didn't think anything could make me leave your side, but you found it, the one line, the one that shall not be crossed. And my heart closed you out, yes even you; my inner self rose up in power, in anger you were cast from me. And now you sit, and now you have no one, no one who knows your true self with love; only the false ones remain, only the ones that love your mask too much to find your heart. But my heart is stone, and I weep no more. My heart of flesh, broken again, mended into stone, unbreakable.

0

Oct 21, 2012

Oct 21, 2012 at 3:16 AM UTC

jason-s

100 times broken

I don't know why I ever came back. A voice in the dark whispered my purpose, telling me there were things to be done. I fell into a hole, I made a mistake, I opened my heart when it should have been dead. I met you, and there you were, inside my heart. Why would you be there, just to break it? All things are meaningless now, my soul is ruptured. Why can't you leave my heart alone? I pretend to be okay, but I am not okay. Every moment is a struggle to keep breathing, every moment I die more inside. Every moment I lose more of me. You liar, you coward. I made myself a fool, and you watched; sad, but too scared to stop me. More and more I opened my heart, not noticing... you were curious, but never wanted it. You read it like a sick tabloid, like a disinterested glutton, devouring my soul only to ***** it into the trash. If only I could leave the world, leave it in it's sinister misery. What pathetic creatures we are; mindless worms feeding on our own filth. Leave my heart, leave my soul, leave me alone... Again I returned, over and over, and again you sated your hunger for my pain. I saw it in your eyes, you knew how much I hurt; but I let you do it, I let you break me, over and again. For my love I gave my soul; until the day you broke it. The line was crossed, my heart was closed, and you lost me. It was my turn then, to break your heart. You didn't think anything could make me leave your side, but you found it, the one line, the one that shall not be crossed. And my heart closed you out, yes even you; my inner self rose up in power, in anger you were cast from me. And now you sit, and now you have no one, no one who knows your true self with love; only the false ones remain, only the ones that love your mask too much to find your heart. But my heart is stone, and I weep no more. My heart of flesh, broken again, mended into stone, unbreakable.

6

Thinking about the tumultuous world, Being thrown about like a rabid dust bunny. Eternally weeping, from joy or sorrow Who knows the will of the wilted flower?

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Oct 18, 2012

Oct 18, 2012 at 2:14 PM UTC

jason-s

Hurl

Thinking about the tumultuous world, Being thrown about like a rabid dust bunny. Eternally weeping, from joy or sorrow Who knows the will of the wilted flower?

4

Here we are how we've changed in this short time, I never knew time is split two major spans; before, and since that day I see your face and wonder if I can be for you what you are for me My life is full of purpose, I see my grand adventure the whole thing seems less without you by my side my adventure will continue, my story will be written without you I will go forward... but with you... my life will be more, my adventure will be grander, my purpose more fulfilling Can you feel this The power raging I feel it like a raging inferno Liquid fire in my veins Is this what it feels like Is this love? Mountains become mole hills, oceans are but puddles Distance between us is but a flick of the hand, a tick of a clock The distance between us measures my life The further you are, the slower time moves... When I see you, when I can look in your eyes, I am lost, and years pass in a moment

0

Sep 29, 2012

Sep 29, 2012 at 12:52 AM UTC

jason-s

emiT

Here we are how we've changed in this short time, I never knew time is split two major spans; before, and since that day I see your face and wonder if I can be for you what you are for me My life is full of purpose, I see my grand adventure the whole thing seems less without you by my side my adventure will continue, my story will be written without you I will go forward... but with you... my life will be more, my adventure will be grander, my purpose more fulfilling Can you feel this The power raging I feel it like a raging inferno Liquid fire in my veins Is this what it feels like Is this love? Mountains become mole hills, oceans are but puddles Distance between us is but a flick of the hand, a tick of a clock The distance between us measures my life The further you are, the slower time moves... When I see you, when I can look in your eyes, I am lost, and years pass in a moment

25

Fortuitous grace, the lovely unknown, loving the lightning, striking my heart. Living inside, looking through these eyes, waiting. When he hurts, I come out... When you strike at him, there I am... You will not harm him... None can come through me; I am the invincible rogue, the invisible monster hiding in this heart. It is mine! He gave his heart freely to you, I cannot stop him. You sent it back, broken, and think he will stay? He would stay forever, for his love is true. He would let you run him into the ground. I Say No More. I say stop. Gently, at first, you can see me behind his eyes, through the tears, waiting... you have seen me before, that night... you cannot describe me, though your heart beats faster... remembered passion, now a foul stench... The fire turns cold, the room falls apart, and I scream... Suddenly, the tears dry, and we smile at your look... I would have loved you too, had you not been so callous. Passion falls short, desire cannot keep calm in my presence, but instead you called forth wrath... and My Wrath is unlike any other... He whispers, "no..." a feeble attempt to stop me. Soon we will bathe in blood together, you and I... It will be ours... I am the blood, I am the lust, I am primal... Soon He is no more, and I call to you, the inner side of her... Waken to my call, and heed not the feeble fears of the mortals... Throw aside this flesh and let us be one...

0

Sep 15, 2012

Sep 15, 2012 at 2:18 AM UTC

jason-s

Primal

Fortuitous grace, the lovely unknown, loving the lightning, striking my heart. Living inside, looking through these eyes, waiting. When he hurts, I come out... When you strike at him, there I am... You will not harm him... None can come through me; I am the invincible rogue, the invisible monster hiding in this heart. It is mine! He gave his heart freely to you, I cannot stop him. You sent it back, broken, and think he will stay? He would stay forever, for his love is true. He would let you run him into the ground. I Say No More. I say stop. Gently, at first, you can see me behind his eyes, through the tears, waiting... you have seen me before, that night... you cannot describe me, though your heart beats faster... remembered passion, now a foul stench... The fire turns cold, the room falls apart, and I scream... Suddenly, the tears dry, and we smile at your look... I would have loved you too, had you not been so callous. Passion falls short, desire cannot keep calm in my presence, but instead you called forth wrath... and My Wrath is unlike any other... He whispers, "no..." a feeble attempt to stop me. Soon we will bathe in blood together, you and I... It will be ours... I am the blood, I am the lust, I am primal... Soon He is no more, and I call to you, the inner side of her... Waken to my call, and heed not the feeble fears of the mortals... Throw aside this flesh and let us be one...

3

For all those things I need to hear, are all the things I cannot say. For me the pain is far to near, my heart it fears, your loving, ever warm, embrace. Though you may be my only way, when you are near, I cannot see. I tear inside, blinded to life outside this prison, inside my heart. My heart it wonders why you wander in and out so freely. Paths through sorrow, marked with blood... My bleeding heart, to have you know me... Loving living, grand living light. Gifted, granted; lighted heart. Giving, having, leaving, life giving, heart wrenching, love of pain, pain of love...

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Sep 15, 2012

Sep 15, 2012 at 1:57 AM UTC

jason-s

Path 1

For all those things I need to hear, are all the things I cannot say. For me the pain is far to near, my heart it fears, your loving, ever warm, embrace. Though you may be my only way, when you are near, I cannot see. I tear inside, blinded to life outside this prison, inside my heart. My heart it wonders why you wander in and out so freely. Paths through sorrow, marked with blood... My bleeding heart, to have you know me... Loving living, grand living light. Gifted, granted; lighted heart. Giving, having, leaving, life giving, heart wrenching, love of pain, pain of love...

6

Here again I sit alone, wondering... Why there must not be always, love... Again, forlorn, my heart doth weep... My purpose wane, my faith come weak... Future, past, present are but not what I have been... Self; illusionary... But, for to whome I tell not when... The line, the wax; coordination.... My falseness bare not witness to thy lovely... Eye of the storm is not; but hurricane eyes, not, too much, mine heart... Be the still, the ne'er loved... Forlorn, my purpose wane... To ne'er I go, thine heart not slain... Carry thine love with thee, under pillow safeguarded... Mule's day, play's night... To see the lovely, wonderful... Storm-less skies, wonderous eyes, after all..

0

Sep 15, 2012

Sep 15, 2012 at 1:45 AM UTC

jason-s

Hurricane Eyes

Here again I sit alone, wondering... Why there must not be always, love... Again, forlorn, my heart doth weep... My purpose wane, my faith come weak... Future, past, present are but not what I have been... Self; illusionary... But, for to whome I tell not when... The line, the wax; coordination.... My falseness bare not witness to thy lovely... Eye of the storm is not; but hurricane eyes, not, too much, mine heart... Be the still, the ne'er loved... Forlorn, my purpose wane... To ne'er I go, thine heart not slain... Carry thine love with thee, under pillow safeguarded... Mule's day, play's night... To see the lovely, wonderful... Storm-less skies, wonderous eyes, after all..

17