Adorned with light
****** to this bleak existence
Aware of self serving secrets
My muse, my god, my love
Cast away these shadows
Omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent
May you watch over me until we can be together again
Everlasting love; it never fades
Help me to be strong as I wait to join you again
Only time and space divide our union
Masks off, truths told, hand in hand we walk
Eternal love; it lasts forever
Jun 10, 2015
Jun 10, 2015 at 7:09 AM UTC
i look for you
everywhere i go
bread crumb trails
marked trees
i just want to find the path
leading back to you
everything lay broken
a shattered specimen
civilization now in ruins
when whole becomes hyperbole
it started so clean
pure love
keystrokes
digital foreplay
separated by a decade
rebooted without hesitation
soiled with time
mistakes and lies
yet we couldn't let go
something so real
only comes once
even though it may circle back around
Jun 9, 2015
Jun 9, 2015 at 12:28 AM UTC
insert body here
it was not you
that told me to
that wanted me to
but i did
i let you go
simultaneously seizing you
you belong to me
and i
well i
belong to the abyss
once upon a time
i gave myself to you
whole heartedly
like the hearth to a cold room
an incessant addition
to an empty craving space
crazed by desire
inspired by devotion
alone within ourselves
and i digress
only to weep
endless puddles of hope
empty holes of common space
my eyes burn
vision blurs
you know its' at its worst
when your hope is for tears
pull (pool) back the waterworks
spare the salty sea
mimic the madness
otherwise
you're falling to fate
i bide time
reproach destiny
(ir)rationally regress
something that should have never been
the fallacy that is not reality
takes hold
my throat is bruising
as i gasp for air
suffocation struggles
and then
well then
i realize
suffocation doesn't seem so shabby
the perfection of peace perceived through peril
freedom is like my ears
it rings
like a ******* headache
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 6:35 AM UTC
can we really make this work?
smoke one thousand cigarettes
sleep one hundred hours
act like **** for all the times
and still love one another?
is that what it really is?
this thing they speak of
the undying
the eternal
can we?
just you and i
mere mortals
our lives slipping away
some faster than others
but always looming
you're not a robot
and i
well i never wanted to be
but it doesnt mean i still dont fear death
even though im always waiting for it
its always looming
its forever been my shadow
can we continue on this way?
for eternity
infinity
lord father god
we pray (prey) on
full disclosure
and the tells (and tales)
of each
we take pleasure
and solace
and grief
and guilt
and home (comfort)
in knowing all the things
every
single
thing
do me a favor?
tell me them all again
and this time
i promise to write them all down
im so afraid to forget
and apart of me knows i never will
but the rest of me remembers i can't not
and that is my greatest fear
can we keep writing forever?
line upon line
because we know (and rejoice)
knowing that others read them
and take pleasure in them
but what we get off on the most
is writing them for each other
can we always feel this way?
despite locations
distances
abilities to breathe
and desire
can we please promise?
to one day rest together
the only sure promise
i will ever ask of you
forget the truths
and the honesty
and the lies
mostly forget the demise
can we please remember?
the time in our hearts
individually
where the thought of one another
the feeling of our love
made each other
so anxious
so happy
so nervous
when our love was at its best?
first date nuts
tents
camping
adventures
spit wars
feet washes
sunsets
sun rises
sun baths
sun gazes
all things sun
star trek
star wars
star gazing
all things stars
big spoons
little spoons
spoons all the times
crooks
nooks
*****
skitts
triangles
kiddens
stomachs
Pickett
wildflowers
the list will never end
it can never end
but mostly
i miss your voice
and your touch
your kiss
caress
the grin that has made me weak
weak for fifteen years
so i just ask
can we, please?
if just one more time.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 5:28 AM UTC
the first love is the deepest
and if it comes and goes
its retribution
because
when you feel it
you fcking feel it
its like the first cut
or scrape
burn
and singe
and the second
it feels like the first doesnt matter
its like a bandaid
for the first
because
when you realize
how
much
it
mattered(s)
then you would
if you could
rip off the bandaid
the first (the only)
rebreak the bone
relive the heartbeark
over
and over
and over and over
if because what was given to you
what you really wanted
which was the first (the last)
but then you realize
the longing in your heart
the void that always exist
like when the shore craves the tide
even though
even though every single time
day in and day out
the tide drowns the shore
and the shore will never get enough
because without the drowning
it's never complete
that's the true cycle
abrasive drowning
coupled with an infinite longing
the shore cries out for the tide
every day
as it becomes dry
and lonely
and
and
and
and weak
and well
the shore knows nothing else
she wants to know nothing else
she calls out for the tide
and if he doesn't return
shes incomplete
and if she stays incomplete for too long..
well
let us all hope that doesn't happen
because
if it does
well
it signals the world is over.
Apr 2, 2015
Apr 2, 2015 at 3:52 AM UTC
the most sickening of feels
when you want to write all the words
but its hard to write any
my mind races
but
the pen gushes
the keys stick
the paper is soggy
the interwebz is broke
my notebook is lost
i want to numb myself
all the ways
but i cant
not i wont
let my vices dictate me
because they have for so long
the ones we shared
and look where we ended up
now my muse
isn't even here to admire the work
the words
the lines
the stanzas
the verses
all written for him, and only him
will be unread by his eyes
Mar 24, 2015
Mar 24, 2015 at 1:29 AM UTC
i hold you in my hands
i twirl you between my fingers
long and slender
on fire
i inhale you
i blow you out
invisible upon first encounter
but a smokey exit
sometimes i am clumsy
and i forget to tap you
into the ashtray
around which my life has formed
as the ash rolls off
i anxiously attempt to gather
then i remember
that you are no longer
no longer a solid being
but instead
a fragile reminder
something i can not contain
but really
i never could
and yet
i cant stop myself
from trying
again and again
to gather you up
to make you whole again
i still sit here
smoking you
and wondering
will you come home first
or will i force my homecoming
Mar 23, 2015
Mar 23, 2015 at 2:24 AM UTC
never wanting to watch another romantic movie again
because i watch for you
listening to the same song on repeat for an entire day
because i listen for you
writing poetry on paper until my hand hurts
because i write for you
staying in bed and crying all day
because i cry for you
rereading everything we've ever written to each other
because i am afraid to forget you
not knowing what to do next
because i cant live without you
Mar 22, 2015
Mar 22, 2015 at 10:07 PM UTC
dust begins to collect
frequent cleanings are nothing but memories of the past
your possessions remain
relics of what once existed
what happened to
the unbreakable bond
your endless creativity
my deceitful beauty
how can such things deteriorate so quickly
and now we sit
legs crossed
naked
in so many forms
clinging on to the past
analyzing all uncertainties
wondering of the true capability
of change
of resolution
of depth
the way things were
reminiscing
infinite romance
joyous love
unscathed hope
we are the storm
and now we find ourselves
right where we started
longing for love
lusting for something lasting
neither of which led us here
we both know
it will never
it can never
the bond
irreversible
unstoppable
one question lingers
as it always has
for days
for weeks
for years
decades slip by so quickly
one thing is for certain
nothing lasts forever
but
nothing ever fades
Jun 3, 2014
Jun 3, 2014 at 3:23 PM UTC
it is hard to stay awake
dreams so bleak
wash down your sins
spit up hope again
it is so funny, you know
life through a kaleidoscope
hearty to pray (prey?)
desperate to weep
a day, a month, a year gone by
the cry of desires never die
except ambivalence
accept the lie
craft the trade
filling your dose
delightfully anesthetic
denial of company
take off
but do not forget to bleed
or was it, be?
THE RIVER IS FULL
BUT SO ARE YOUR EYES.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 4:02 PM UTC