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jaelodell
jaelodell
33/Genderqueer We are all everything and we are all nothing, because who we are is not only how we choose to see ourselves, but also the vision of how others choose to see us. So, the real question is, who do you think I am?
It's important to remember that the impervious, and often mellow, hum of love is so much greater than the pain of the inevitable end you will experience whenever you choose to care about others. If we forget, all is lost.
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Dec 12, 2021
Dec 12, 2021 at 7:05 PM UTC
The Beauty Of Vulnerability
Don't you ever tire of being in my dreams? Don't you ever sleep? You're there every night, it seems. Don't you ever tire of running through my head? Don't you ever ache? Sometimes I dream you're dead. Don't you ever tire of sitting in my brain? Don't you feel guilt? You're putting me through pain. Don't you ever tire of being on my mind? Don't you ever share? My energy has declined. Don't you ever tire of cracking on my skull? Don't you ever go away? This joke is getting dull. Don't you ever tire of being my delusion? Don't you understand? You're the cause of my confusion. Don't you ever tire of being in my dreams? Don't you ever want peace? You're with me every night, it seems.
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Dec 12, 2021
Dec 12, 2021 at 6:19 PM UTC
My Nightmare
Where to start? A broken heart, cloudy skies, blinded eyes, hollow bones, anxious tones, a shaking hand, a crumbling land, an empty head, I should be dead. Trembling legs, throat of gags, roughed lips, unused hips, frail arms, can do no harm. Nothing left, a torn cleft, loss of scent, my life is spent. A black abyss, the forgotten kiss, shallow breath, I'm close to death, frigid tongue, my life is hung. Said my goodbyes, my body dies. A living hell, this empty shell, many tears, for you, my dear. Save my please! From this disease. **** my sorrow, on the morrow, don't let me go, down below. Pick me up, help me sup, I'm on my knees! Forgive me?... please...
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Dec 12, 2021
Dec 12, 2021 at 5:55 PM UTC
An Act Of Desperation
Somedays my body feels numb Like the world is on my shoulders As I sit in my rundown car Smoking my cigarette Starving myself from the cold That's outside my window I feel a desperate breathe of life Try to flow into my lungs And I realize it's not just me It's my angel with the burning wings She shelters me from the ice Just as she does my life She protects me from myself I slice through the foggy air Just as I do to myself I feel my life running dry I'm cold; I don't feel alive anymore Then it comes, that soft warm touch Trying to revive me one last time And I realize it's not just me It's my angel with the burning wings She shelters me from the ice Just as she does my life She protects me from myself I bleed out into my crimson bath The last drop of blood leaves my veins And as my red sea starts to part I feel an angel touch my heart My soul leaves my body And I become one with her I realize it's not just me It's my angel with the burning wings She sheltered me from the ice And tried to give me life She'll protect me now from hell I look down at my body With new eyes I can see now the life it went through It deserved to die It was never really me I was born to die This is me I am the angel with the burning wings
0
Dec 12, 2021
Dec 12, 2021 at 5:46 PM UTC
My Own Worst Enemy
this throbbing in my chest, it engulfs me. the delirious assumption of neglect, that putrid feeling of self pity, how disgusting. bone grinds bone in my mouth, my jaw aches with hatred until my vision blurs over with hope of ignorance. a pathetic waste of life. i breathe deep but, it doesnt satiate my thirst, for that fresh breath of promise. there is only one end, to that crippling pain that crackles through my brain, like spiderwebs of battered glass. the sharp horrid sensation of imploding from the depths of my entrails. another breath wasted. a pulsation so strong, my fingers twitch with the onrushing river of blood that courses through me like toxic waste. oh, to live again. the warm salty fluid of loneliness, rests on my lip before flavoring my tongue with disdain. it burns. what was my purpose? what do you all want from me? cheeks flush pink with oncoming denial. i dont care! i dont care! my ribcage convulses. dont think. ...stop it! a warm rotten gasp escapes my chafed lips. i swallow hard. the need to forget. i tease my trembling wrist, with the cold steel of promise. it's clever charisma creates a tingling sensation of power that jolts my nerves. alarmed hairs stand on edge. my heart skips a beat with excitement. oh, to live again. i drag the point down my inner arm, snagging skin as the tip skitters about. please. forgive me. i slice down without hesitation. my eyes swell with shimmers of relief. blood spills over. a warm crimson rush of despair dribbles onto my lap. my thighs are speckled with the greatest high of relief. i laugh at the bubbling layer of fat that wiggles from its crater, like maggots gluttonously feeding from a rotted carcass left to shrivel in the heat. my bottom lip splits with a smile. oh, to live again. a slowing heartbeat. my shoulders relax. i inhale sharply. it singes my lungs with a wildfire of threat, but i care not. awww sweet dopamine. the sanguine pool clots around my feet. i clench my toes in the mess with childlike hysteria, sand at the beach, such polluted thoughts. feeling faint, a mind now at complete peace. my head takes a bow between my knees. the tips of my hair tickle the last bit of trouble i've created for you. the room fogs over. such a soothing shade of white. im weightless and floating, angelic. i close my weary eyelids. time no longer to be wasted. i meant no harm. the end is inevitable. useless body of baggage. woe is me. exhale. oh, to live again.
0
Jan 22, 2017
Jan 22, 2017 at 3:11 AM UTC
it's not important
this throbbing in my chest, it engulfs me. the delirious assumption of neglect, that putrid feeling of self pity, how disgusting. bone grinds bone in my mouth, my jaw aches with hatred until my vision blurs over with hope of ignorance. a pathetic waste of life. i breathe deep but, it doesnt satiate my thirst, for that fresh breath of promise. there is only one end, to that crippling pain that crackles through my brain, like spiderwebs of battered glass. the sharp horrid sensation of imploding from the depths of my entrails. another breath wasted. a pulsation so strong, my fingers twitch with the onrushing river of blood that courses through me like toxic waste. oh, to live again. the warm salty fluid of loneliness, rests on my lip before flavoring my tongue with disdain. it burns. what was my purpose? what do you all want from me? cheeks flush pink with oncoming denial. i dont care! i dont care! my ribcage convulses. dont think. ...stop it! a warm rotten gasp escapes my chafed lips. i swallow hard. the need to forget. i tease my trembling wrist, with the cold steel of promise. it's clever charisma creates a tingling sensation of power that jolts my nerves. alarmed hairs stand on edge. my heart skips a beat with excitement. oh, to live again. i drag the point down my inner arm, snagging skin as the tip skitters about. please. forgive me. i slice down without hesitation. my eyes swell with shimmers of relief. blood spills over. a warm crimson rush of despair dribbles onto my lap. my thighs are speckled with the greatest high of relief. i laugh at the bubbling layer of fat that wiggles from its crater, like maggots gluttonously feeding from a rotted carcass left to shrivel in the heat. my bottom lip splits with a smile. oh, to live again. a slowing heartbeat. my shoulders relax. i inhale sharply. it singes my lungs with a wildfire of threat, but i care not. awww sweet dopamine. the sanguine pool clots around my feet. i clench my toes in the mess with childlike hysteria, sand at the beach, such polluted thoughts. feeling faint, a mind now at complete peace. my head takes a bow between my knees. the tips of my hair tickle the last bit of trouble i've created for you. the room fogs over. such a soothing shade of white. im weightless and floating, angelic. i close my weary eyelids. time no longer to be wasted. i meant no harm. the end is inevitable. useless body of baggage. woe is me. exhale. oh, to live again.
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A looming black gate with serrated edges, Gargoyles were staring at you from upon marble ledges, You opened the gate with a fearless pride, Fate awaits you where your life is denied. Wandering through the garden of rotting weeds, Weaker you became as a hungry Death feeds. You rested upon a swing hanging from an Oak, With nothing to keep you warm besides a feeble cloak. Your small hand grasped at an aching heart, With wounded visions of falling apart. But just before arising to make your retreat, You glanced upon the crumbled bricks beneath your feet. A rose did lay on the moss covered path, A beauty disturbed; it revealed its wrath. Thunder mumbled an angry roar, Electric veils of light began to soar, Glistening rain fell from the darkest cloud, You could hear your broken heart beating aloud. You could feel the scarlet flowers torment, As you knelt to pick the blossom from the cement. Beauty grew in the garden as you become ever frail, You fell to the ground and your face faded pale. A tear emerged as you took your last breath, A wondrous dwelling surrounded your death. An entity took over and your corpse was revived, Where eyes dissolved there were flowers alive. Frail bones turned to roots and unkempt hair to earth, This is in the stars for us all since the day of our birth. The rose lay beside you, crippled with rage, And bled from it's petals a bright red lineage, Of the curious soul who dares enter the lair, Despair is devious but most are unaware. The living crypt is bountiful again, Ready to entice more lonely souls within, It anxiously rests as it eagerly awaits, For another dim spirit to enter its gates.
0
Dec 30, 2016
Dec 30, 2016 at 1:08 AM UTC
Surrender
A looming black gate with serrated edges, Gargoyles were staring at you from upon marble ledges, You opened the gate with a fearless pride, Fate awaits you where your life is denied. Wandering through the garden of rotting weeds, Weaker you became as a hungry Death feeds. You rested upon a swing hanging from an Oak, With nothing to keep you warm besides a feeble cloak. Your small hand grasped at an aching heart, With wounded visions of falling apart. But just before arising to make your retreat, You glanced upon the crumbled bricks beneath your feet. A rose did lay on the moss covered path, A beauty disturbed; it revealed its wrath. Thunder mumbled an angry roar, Electric veils of light began to soar, Glistening rain fell from the darkest cloud, You could hear your broken heart beating aloud. You could feel the scarlet flowers torment, As you knelt to pick the blossom from the cement. Beauty grew in the garden as you become ever frail, You fell to the ground and your face faded pale. A tear emerged as you took your last breath, A wondrous dwelling surrounded your death. An entity took over and your corpse was revived, Where eyes dissolved there were flowers alive. Frail bones turned to roots and unkempt hair to earth, This is in the stars for us all since the day of our birth. The rose lay beside you, crippled with rage, And bled from it's petals a bright red lineage, Of the curious soul who dares enter the lair, Despair is devious but most are unaware. The living crypt is bountiful again, Ready to entice more lonely souls within, It anxiously rests as it eagerly awaits, For another dim spirit to enter its gates.
Continue reading...
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